Is there anyone else who feels like me

Hi i have a history of depression but came off antidepressents some months ago and was very happy. Me and my husband decided to try for a baby and am now 6 1/2 weeks pregnant. For the first few weeks i was over the moon and yes i told everyone. However the joy as gone i feel like my world is over i thought having a scan would cure me but it hasn't i get major panic attacks and really want this thing gone from inside me. I feel awful because my husband really wants the baby and i have been put on a mild dose of depressents but nothing is working. Is there anyone that can help me

14 Replies

  • Hey. I think pregnancy hormones can really mess with moods and so as you have a history of depression, it may be the hormones getting involved and kicking things off. It's possible as well that it is mixed in with a bit of fear of the unknown. Labour, birth and caring for a baby are huge things in life and even when it is planned and wanted, there is definitely a chance that a lot of women will then be scared or nervous about the next phase and their life changing. Would maybe counselling or seeing a therapist to uncover all your feelings and possibly the route of them help perhaps?

    I'm sorry I can't help more and hope somebody will be able to share a similar experience with you. But never feel alone while you can post on here and get things off your chest. Congratulations on you pregnancy xx

  • Thank you Fattyboom for replying i know i have antinatal depression and am seeing my doctor i am going to try and get medication as talking to people face to face scares me and because of that i dont think it will help but i have found out there is safe medication i can take hopefully my doctor will agree

  • Oh I'm sorry you are going through this. Must be so hard. But you are clearly a strong person as you are seeking assistance and recognise what you need. Keep being strong, keep talking on here for extra support in the meantime and I hope the doctor can help you xx

  • It's horrible, I've had some moments this pregnancy when I've wondered if I can go on, it's so hard sometimes when your hormones are messing you about. I've now reached 30 weeks and am generally feeling really good about having this baby. I wrote down all my fears and concerns and addressed them that way, realising that I could overcome them. I spoke to my husband about feeling unable to cope and suicidal at times and since then he has made more of an effort to make me feel good about myself.

    If you don't feel you can talk to someone face to face, the NCT have a telephone helpline, maybe you could talk to someone there and they could help?

    If you or someone you know needs the support of the Shared Experiences Helpline, call 0300 330 0700 on Monday - Friday from 9am – 7pm. You can leave a message outside of these hours and someone will call you back.

    When you call the Shared Experiences Helpline, our enquiries team will put you in touch with a volunteer who has gone through a similar experience and is able to offer understanding and a listening ear. Callers are also given details of other relevant charities or support organisations who may be able to help.

    You're not alone, there are lots of people out there that can help, keep asking for help until you find what you need. Hugs.

  • Thank you Winnie258 i will definatly write my fears downs and try to sort them and i will keep the phone number you have given me

  • If you're worried or scared about giving birth, I would strongly recommend doing a hypnobirthing course - Wise Hippo, google it to find a teacher in your area. I was very scared about giving birth to my first, but a friend recommended hypnobirthing to me and it gave me loads of confidence, I'm going to have a home birth this time! They do a fear release, where the practitioner talks you through a meditation, you don't have to say what your fears are out loud. I think the one I did, you were told to imagine writing your fears on a piece of paper and then tearing up the piece of paper and throwing it away. It's not cheap but I thought it was well worth it and more useful than the NCT antenatal classes we did (although they were great for making friends). If you want to email me, my email is

  • Thank you Winnie258 my worst thing is the panic attacks i dont know when they will come but when they do they are so bad. I went to see the midwife today and also saw a doctor i was put on medication but will only take it when i really need it.

  • Hypnobirthing might help with the panic attacks as well, it teaches you what type of breathing you should do during the different stages of labour and gives you something to concentrate on. My husband spent many hours of my labour reminding me to breathe all the way in and all the way out, the midwife said we were a lovely calm couple and would have a lovely calm baby and she was - she's a crazy toddler now, 22 months old, absolutely gorgeous.

    The CD has affirmations which you listen to, they made me feel confident that I could cope with whatever happened during labour and giving birth, having that confidence could help reduce the chance of a panic attack, but at the end of the day you'll have medical staff there who have dealt with many different scenarios, they'll know what to do to help you through it.

    Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself, you're doing the best you can.

  • Hi I can totally understand your situation, I too have suffered depression and anxiety and when I found out I was pregnant it totally changed my life and perspective on life. I realized that I needed to focus on another life other than myself and not be so self obsessed. I decided not to tell anyone about my pregnancy for about 6 months of fear people would judge me for the condition I had but when it was public it totally got me down as though my secret was not special anymore and created anxiety and worry of what people thought. Now its been a few weeks I feel so much better and feel proud to be having a baby and have put all my attention now into the small life inside of me. I have tried anti depressants for a number of years and decided to come off them and took a more natural route taking omega 3 which is great for depression and is safe to take throughout pregnancy. I think when you see the bump later in pregnancy your feelings and you may change your feelings towards pregnancy. It is a time to not only look after a new life but to spend some time on yourself keeping fit and eating well all the positive things. Depression is a very draining illness and my advice is to not waste anymore time on it and focus on the little one. I was very busy in the first stage of my pregnancy and didn't feel down. My anxiety has come back now my pregnancy is in the latter stages and I am doing less. Occupying and keeping your mind busy is so important. I am doing a hypnobirthing cd and pregnancy yoga which I would strongly recommend it helps calm you down and gets you to relax and focus on your baby. Sorry the message is so long but being there for so many years I realize how much time I have wasted and that having a child is an amazing experience and do not want to transmit negative vibes to my baby. I am determined to make my childs life different and happier than what I have been through. Good luckxx

  • Thank you artybird for your support

  • Hi gengen I've often felt the way u do. I was so excited to have my second child with in 6 weeks of pregancy from being happy. It turned to dread and worry and have felt down and depressed at timesi suffer with anxiety panic attacks and I think mild depression. I'm not enjoying my second pregancy as much but think cause I'm so worried about having anxiety disorder and being pregnant. Whether I get judged by midwife. Found out. My partner trying to play away with women for the second time that's not helped with my moods and have dysfunctional famiy.I think pregancy hormones can make you up and down . I'm having CBt wish is helping with my low moods and anxiety. You should ask your doctor for some really helps. You will find it gets easier. I'm 22 weeks pregnant and enjoying baby kicking and baby shopping u will. As you feel baby move u can't start to bond. I have 4 year old son I can't describe the love you have for your children its the most rewarding job in the world x

  • I've suffered with postnatal depression and know its so hard to suffer with something that you can't control or get a handle on! hormones will play a big part in this but you need to make a decision soon on what you want so it doesn't effect your babys life and your relationship. It all becomes 10x harder when the baby gets here. Try and get a councillor uncilor to see its a very scary prospect to put yourself out there but it helps so much I saw a councillor through out my pregnancy and a bit after (due to losing my first baby) and postnatal depression but it does get better! You won't feel like this forever! As hard as it will be at first with your baby you have have the most amazing little thing in the world that no one can come close to being so important! I depression is debilitating I really do under stand and I really hope things get better for you. And you will have a beautiful family at the end of this!

  • Hi gengen,

    Sorry to hear you feel the way you do. I am 27 weeks pregnant and have suffered from depression in the past. I have been lucky so far in my pregnancy and have only had a few down days. What i will say though is that pregnancy makes you feel very vulnerable as you feel responsible for the life inside you and it can make you panicky and overwhelmed. Just believe that you are doing your best and that things will be ok. Seems easy to say but you are doing a wonderful thing bringing a new life in to the world. Good luck and i will look out for your posts to see how you go through your pregnancy. Take care x

  • Hi Gengen,

    when did you go back on the anti-ds? It takes up to six weeks for them to become effective. It's hard because you may need a higher dose so find out what is the maximum they can give you.

    I'm due with my third child and have had a horrific pregnancy. I was on anti-ds then came off to get pregnant and my anxiety creeped back in gradually but by 20 weeks my depression/ anxiety went through the roof and I stopped sleeping and ended up in hospital and had to quit my job due to the severity of my condition. I wish I'd had better advice from my GP from the start and subsequently changed doctors in the end because he knew nothing about mental health. I would suggest you contact your midwife and find out if they offer a support service for pregnant women with depression. We have a service where I live and they have been really helpful regarding medication advice and how to manage during pregnancy. Prenatal depression isn't widely recognized but is very serious because doctors just don't know what happens with your hormone surges and how it affects a pregnant woman mentally and therefore just brush it under the carpet and there are obviously medication limitations that create so many obstacles. If your GP is reluctant to help remind him/her that they have a duty of care to you and your unborn child and that it is very important that you manage your depression now in order to cope when the baby arrives. There is a charity set up for both prenatal & postnatal depression which you can call/ email for advice

    On a more cheery note, once your baby is in your arms you will feel that it was all worth it and your feelings during early pregnancy will fade. I have 2 girls and they make me laugh and smile everyday, there is no feeling in the world like it.

    Good luck and keep strong xxx

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