I need to vent!

Where to start... well, atm I'm 19+5 weeks and my hormones are flying everywhere. I work in a shop, not a glamorous job, but it brings the pennies in. I've just put in a request not to do anymore overtime as i can't take it any more to be quite frank. I feel like I'mtaken for granted in my job, as I'm always picking up the pieces. I'm never late, and hardly ever sick. Thank goodness I have a week off next week. That's the one thing getting me through.

Its not just work getting to me though. I try to keep the house clean, i do dishes everyday, i hoover, i dust, i do laundry and whatever else needs doing but it doesn't make a difference. I try talking to my partner about it, but we end up arguing and i have to walk away before i get into too much of a state. He works too but he's not the hormonal pregnant one. He's more interested in his fishing than cleaning. Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy, we have been together for nearly 5 years, and i love him, but when it comes to the house work, he is so lazy. I even moan to his family about it but he just ignores it. I repeat myself all the time and its driving me crazy. He's already a father to a sweet 6yo boy, and he does anything for his son. I know he will be a great dad to ours too but i don't want him taking me for granted. I feel silly writing all this but to be honest i don't have many people i can talk to. As much as i love my mother, i don't always want to talk so personal with her. And friends....i probably meet up with one every couple of months, so there is no real connection to start pouring my heart out when i do see them

Money is quite tight too. Trying to be debt free for when baby arrives is hard. I also need a hair cut, which is really getting to my self esteem. Haven't had one since January! Is now June! Plus I'm getting quite bumpy now and I'm desperate for new clothes. All these little things are all really getting to me, and obviously i can't sleep tonight. Too much to think about. As well as the normal stuff like body image, labour and birth, and also worrying that nothing will be ready when baby is due. Thinking too much! One of the good things is that baby has started kicking and i love it. Considering i spent the best part of 3 years trying for this baby, and now that its happening, so smoothly (atm at least) something has to go wrong i suppose. I'm also frustrated because i don't go out much, mainly because I'm so skint but also because of a lack of friends. Sorry for waffling on for anyone who actually reads this, but as the title suggests, i just needed to vent. Anyways, hope you are all having lovely pregnancies, and don't worry like I'm doing or you will find it hard to sleep :/

15 Replies

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  • Ah bless you babe...sounds like everything you are feeling is completely reasonable. I recommend meditation. wont solve your problems but may give you the serenity to avoid stress. i love kelly howell universal mind meditation. think your partner is being unreasonable....maybe try appealing to him rather than having a go? also maybe join a pregnancy yoga group...i have seen quite a few free classes. where are you based? would put you in touch with other pregnant women too. I have been going and always feel so relaxed after xx

  • Thanx for your reply. I have been thinking about yoga, I'm just not a very yoga person, if u know what i mean? Well maybe I should be! I'm in the north Hampshire area. Hart and rushmore councils. I used to do pilates in college, i found it helped with my anxiety. So i should probably give it a go! Thanx again for the reply :) x

  • It sounds liek your feeling alot like me, its nice to know we're not alone in how we are feeling. I've been pretty sick the last week or so and feeling really taken for granted by my partner and hardly ever see my friends as we live so far away so been feeling isolated but i kinda woke up this morning feeling alot better. Think I just thought I need to concentrate on staying calm and not getting myself worked up. I can only deal with one thing at a time and you have to be the same. I know being debt free is important, trust me I'm trying to get mine down but I really think you should get your hair cut and buy yourself something, doesnt have to be expensive but I know it makes a big difference to how your feeling and not that much difference to the money side of things. Try and talk to your partner again, no point talking to his family etc that will just make things worse if all else fails stop doing everythign for a day or two and when it all gets behind he mite realise just how much you are doing and be willing to talk about it. As for feeling alone or needing to talk I have found this site a great help for that and dont be afraid to come on here and rant, we're all in the same boat. Good luck.

  • I have to admit, i do feel better this morning, not 100% but getting there. Its never nice to know others are suffering but its always good to know u are not alone. The man woke up for work this morning and asked if i would like to go for a walk. Which is nice, maybe I will bring up him doing more when we get back home though. Anyways thanks for the reply, and u are right, this site is so handy! Think i will become more active on here :) thanx x

  • hello my partner is in the army and he comes home as many weekends as possible but he is 4 hours away so there and back is turning into an expensive weekend with fuel.

    The saving thing is hard he got some savings given to him at the beginning of the year and i got a PPI refund, he bought his first car and insured it and a laptop (not really a priority) and sent me the rest, considering he had a lot more than me i have managed to save more, I have got one of them tins you can only open with a can opener and i put notes and £2 and £1 coins in it, also if i use a note in a shop for a small amount i put the change into another tub, even if its only £1.50 trust me it soon starts to mount up. I think its really important that you treat yourself once in a while, go have you hair cut, maybe do what i did last time, get them to cut it for you and then go home and dry and style it for your self it cost me £10. Try buying little bits for the baby as you see them at reasonable prices, dont hold off thats what ive found seems to be working best for us at the moment

    I have given my other half a list of jobs i want him to complete by a certain time and i lay it on thick that i wasnt up to it so we have compromised, our spare room atm is a dumping ground so i told him i will tidy it but can he book a few days leave to paint it as i dont really want to be near the fumes and i dont really want to be stretching up ect, also i told him i read it needed doing 3 months before im due so hopefully he can get started on it in the next few weeks (after i have tided) he is pretty good at helping when pointed in the right direction he just doesnt realise till you tell him, he does annoying things like eating is breakfast with a pint of water taking the bowl out but leaving the glass

    As for your job lovely, you have rights, i cant complain my bosses have been amazing with me since they found out im pregnant, but employers have a duty to you, they should have carried out a risk assessment to see what duties are suitable for you and what you cant do, plus they cannot punish you for being pregnant so you need to speak up, just be firm but fair honestly by following the protocol i have had absolutely no issues with my work

    maybe have a search on the internet for local groups meeting in your area but im now at 22 weeks and the ladies on here have been the best possible support, you get to know their stories and they get to know yours as well as sharing thier experiences when i was at your stage i didnt even feel pregnant and was very down but these ladies are lovely im so glad i found this site

    And you really are not waffling on thats why people come on here to get advice and to help others :)

    x x x

  • Aww you're so sweet! My work has its moments, but since u reminded me if this risk assessment, i remembered my manager did mention this too me, about 3 months ago...and then she was suspended, she come back last week and no mention. I will have to tell her to get it done. My equals at work are really lovely and always helping me, so Im nor completely without support at work.

    And the money, he always says not to worry, he will sort it like he always does, but i keep telling him can't help but worry, that's my job lol. He does try, he just needs a kick up the butt every now and again. I feel a bit pathetic though, me moaning about my man for you to see yours is a mission. At least there is this site :) i think i read a post of yours last week (least i think it was yours) and u do seem like u have had some great advice on here. And u seem a lot happier. I should pipe up more often. Anyways, thank u soo much for ur reply, and good luck with everything :) x

  • yeah I know what you mean about yoga and meditation lol. I used to feel like that but its serioulsy changed my life. I listen to the kelly howell meditation when I am drifting off to sleep and I wake up feeling great :-) I used to find it impossible to meditate...constant thoughts rushing through my mind lol. This has really helped me. Try it xx

    also the pregnancy yoga is so lovely...all about connecting with your baby...makes me come out with a massive smile on my face and believe me I am not having the easiest pregnancy having been abandoned by my partner and having to worry about where I am going to live, how I am going to support myself etc. If it can help me I am sure if can help you xxxx

  • Wow ur really selling it to me, it sounds great! I think baba agrees as its started kicking lol. Sorry to hear ur having a tough time :( makes me sound so petty, well remember, its his loss, no one else's! All the struggles in the world are worth the love u will share with baby! Right, this evening after dinner, I'm getting that laptop out and looking for yoga classes in my area! Thank you so much again x :)

  • You just feel as if you are abit of a slave sometimes dont you. Can you not just ask for a dry trim instead of a full on pamper hair restyle, mine only cost £12 for me and we have a woman come to our house that does a "family booking" so we all get it done at once as it is worth her while coming out. I know it is not as nice as having it done at the hairdressers where they wash it but it is cheaper.

    As for your OH I dont know what to suggest. When I am feeling like a naggy b!tch I just wash mine and my childrens clothes and leave is piling up in the wash basket and if he brings stuff in from work like his lunch box and leaves it on the worktop I wont touch it and clean around it until it gets moved, I know I know it is childish but sometimes it annoys me, I am not his mother nor am I his slave. I dont do it all the time just when I am angry.

  • I do tell my man that sometimes it feels like we already have a child in the house! But I'm not sure what's happened today, but he's helped a hell of a lot. We sorted out our whole bedroom (which baby will be in until we move...moving with a baby, dreading that) anyways, i feel like he's had a revelation and i was happy to make his dinner tonight.

    And as for the hair issue, Im getting it done next week without a doubt. I used to get my step sister to do it, but she rushes it and i end up hating it anyways. Plus she isn't the most welcoming of people and i can just do without her bitchy attitude that she always gives me. It really not worth the money saving. Plus when i started using this hairdresser i go to now, she asked who done my hair as it was cut terribly. I need to find a decent mobile hairdresser.

  • I would love 2 get my hair done at the hair dressers it's so nice when thy wash it. I couldn't b doing with my sis in law slagging people off it would get on my nerves. You want 2 b thankful that u don't live next door 2 her like I do with mine.

  • Well its my step sister, she's been in my life since i can remember and she's always been the same. Thinks she's better than u and expects everyone to drop everything for her. One of those...and thank goodness she is one town over and not next door. I doubt i would cope lol. The thought makes me cringe lol.x

  • Hi :-)

    Money is always a worry and my daughters now 17 months! I did however sign up to all baby clubs (boots do a changing bag for free when you buy pampers nappies, so could get newborn nappies and a bag for just over £3!!) and with that you get so many offers etc, then i brought a cot off eBay from grandparents who's grandchild only stayed over a handful of times. I did alot of searching around. And the money jar is a really good idea! My dad wastes his money so last year we got him one that you have to smash and he broke it last week and had just over £1000 in it and he's had it for about 10 months!

    As for your hair, look on groupon/wowcher. They generally have good deals on hair cuts

    And for friends, well as soon as I announced I was pregnant, all but 5 left. Now four of that 5 don't talk to me because this girl lies about me and we'll they don't want to know and don't have the decency to ask. And even the local playgroup was quiet and all the mums had their own groups. I have however now got my own group, which includes an old friend who hadnt seen in years and a girl who was once mis popular in school. You could try your local playgroup, mine allows mums to be sit in.

    And my partner doesn't live with me, but whenever we see his parents, I ask him to help tidy up so we can leave sooner and he just sits there. He makes a massive deal and in the end I end up leaving like a bedraggled crazy woman who hasn't slept in weeks!

  • Its a shame really, i feel like some of my friends just have no interest in me or my pregnancy! Like you, i have old friends making appearances which is nice but none of them have children yet (although one is very broody especially now) i don't understand why some people think a pregnant friend is no longer a friend. Surely they must think that their friendship could be very useful and helpful. Oh well. Everyone is different i suppose.

    Yeah the money tin is a fantastic idea. There's a shop near me that sell them for chap so i should grab one and start putting the did pound and note into. And baby clubs, i have joined boots and the changing bag offer is great! We are very fortunate as our family are n a position to help us. Like my parents are buying our pram, my grandmother inlaw us buying the cot etc... They will all help out where they can. I just need to stop worrying, and that's my advice to anyone in this situation. Any parent knows what its like to be in our situation. Its in the job description :) x

  • I think they think that your life 'ends' which is ridiculous and I get that I am young BUT I know three of the 5 have abortions (sad, I know!)

    And the changing bag is on the smaller side but perfect for only taking what you need! And woo! I think the cot and buggy are the most important and stressful, the rest is easy and relax where you can, worrying only makes it worse and it generally is alot easier than you think xx

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