Today was my first day out of bed and not crying all day.
I went to work thinking how am I going to act like I care about other people right now. Three days ago I felt my life was gone and it is kinda because it will never be the same... But I felt love today~ I love people and I love my job. I even felt love for myself. I know that God gave that to me. Today after work I just went for a long walk and realized that this is my fault, I was reckless and fearless thinking this would never happen to me. Now I'm in fear that it has happen. I was felt sorry for myself when I had a healthy life and even would drink to forget the healthy life I had now I'm just SORRY and sick and have to stay sober while I try to have a life.
I got sober 8 years ago, I stopped smoking 7 years ago all with gods help. I've been eating health and drinking water as of three years ago. I just learned how to love myself most of the time. I don't know what I'm facing yet other then emotions and feeling but I'm glad to be able to vent.
Thanks becca