I am a foster carer, looking after a 6 week o... - FASD Support

FASD Support

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I am a foster carer, looking after a 6 week old with suspected fasd. Looking 4 advice and tips. He screams all day and only calms when held.

Tompey profile image
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Tompey profile image
Tompey
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madauntiealis profile image
madauntiealis

I have a friend who fostered a little girl from birth with suspected FASD. She was very similar - it was almost impossible to put her down. She was very difficult to feed and had her milk thickened which seemed to help her, and my friend carried her kangaroo fashion for as much time as she could, so that she had the security of being next to her, held firmly and experiencing her voice and heartbeat as much as possible. It also made it possible for my friend to do the occasional thing round the house!

I hope you are getting some advice from LAC nurse, health visitor and paediatrician - it's very difficult with these little ones.

My grandson enjoyed being rocked from side to side held along my arm - he seemed to need quite quick and jerky movements which seems counter intuitive - but it did work for him. I suggest you try different rhythms and directions to see which is most effective as I'd guess they're all different!

As he had a very strong startle reflex that prevented him from being laid down to sleep - he always jerked awake no matter how carefully you transitioned him - I investigated holding him on my lap "cuddled" in a polystyrene bead feeding cushion. When he'd warmed that, and was also held slightly at an angle, I could then place the cushion on the floor or in his blow up "nest" without him waking and that was a godsend! I know you're told not to use cushions because of the risk of them suffocating, but under supervision that really worked for us, and it is possible to breath through the cushion - I checked myself! Also the arms of it seemed to mimic being held, which is obviously what this little one wants.

I'm afraid it's just a question of persevering and seeing which things "fit" this little lad. But do look at the feeding with the paediatrician, particularly if he's hard to feed and has some reflux.

kumiko profile image
kumiko

Our grandson is nearly 2 yrs old and does not yet sleep alone or through the night. In his early days he screamed for hours on end and we must have walked miles around the dining room cradling him and singing softly; 'hush little baby' is a good one and he still remembers it! He stayed with us all the time that he was asleep due to severe reflux and colic so we didn't feel safe leaving him in a bedroom. He was, still is, a very light sleeper and hated loud noises. Do you have a dummy (soother)? We were told to give him one from day one.

It's heartbreaking to hear them scream but its all part of withdrawing, it took our grandson over 6 mths to withdraw. Hope this helps.

songar profile image
songar

Keep going , they are demanding as babies , but it will get better,. Forget all the traditional stuff, hold him and sooth him as much as you can , persevere with the feeding he's had a rough time in his mummys tummy . The startling is normal , he will need lots of tlc abd then lots of intensive parenting going forward . I too am a foster carer, if I can help further let me know xx

Amamitch profile image
Amamitch

Hi Tompey, I am a foster carer also and was faced with the same problem. The thing we are told not to do is swaddle nowadays but this is what these children require. I also found to put something in the cot,so as the child could feel something there. The child my be hypersensitive to sound so keeping every thing really low before bed helps maksure the child is not over stimulated. Please do not hesitate to contact me again as i identify with all the early problems.

Yes swaddle we too have 3 month old same issues just done our SUDs . this was O.K. for baby's with FAS/FASD our lo has full FAS as well. remember most will also have sensory issues , Low tolerance too noise and light , have too find out by trial and error, also sensitive too touch have too find out suitable bedding material and cloth's cut all labels out, thing's like this feel like sandpaper on their skin. Our LO had it all very bad weighed in at only 1 lb 2oz.

Will have too insist on all paediatric follow up. Heart scan, Diagnostic brain scan, etc etc. Just done all ours but will be a continual process. Early intervention 0 too 6 months is paramount. also take too baby massage groups.

all this will prevent occurrence of post traumatic stress later on.