i want to be dead
😔: i want to be dead - Cure Parkinson's
😔
Written by
starlove1995
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37 Replies
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I don't want that. Please reply with a 😃
Patsylorium in reply to
Hi RoyProp. My husband has PSP and he has just had first injection of HD Vitamin B1.
Kerrington suggested you. Have you heard of any one with PSP having any success with this. Also Should he be having Magnesium with it ? Hope you don't mind me asking. I did write to Dr Constantini but I know he is unwell and I did not get an answer.
Thank you.
in reply to Patsylorium
Have not heard. I do think once you settle on right dose B1 mag would be ok
Star love, sounds to me like you need some help. Who can you talk to, your family or the doctor or a nurse? Are you in any kind of a support group? Today is today, tomorrow you will be feeling differently. Please don't wait, please talk to somebody and confide in them. Sending all kinds of good thoughts your way Mary.
Get help! Many of us here have felt that same feeling. There is always someone to reach out to👍
Oh GF,. Some days I feel like you are saying too! Don't forget,.Many people feel like not going another minute. You need to reach up out to a hot line or check in to the hospital.. please,~
Dear Starlove, did you talk to your neurologist? What's your therapy?
I have felt that way in the past. You are not alone. Please find someone you can talk to. Depression is a symptom of this disease and also caused by this disease.
Definitely
Tell us why you don't want to live. Parkinson's is tough, but if you talk about it, there is probably somebody on this site that has been through something similar & may be able to give you some suggestions that will help. Reach out to us please.
Debbie
Please hang in there. Is there a support group in your area? Talk to your doctor to see if different meds can help. I know you are very young but there is always hope that someone will solve this puzzle and on this site you can find so many ways to feel better. Please get help. Your life has value.
I understand you...
Sometimes ( often) I think about evtanazia , it is legal now in my state.
But when I think about my son and grandkids.... how they will be...
Till I am on my own, I must live, future will tell...
Starlove,
You are not alone. Many PWP feel this way and yet I would encourage you to talk to your doctor, neurologist or whoever is your medical connection on this journey. Who is prescribing your medication? Counselling can be expensive but often is the answer if you get a good connection. Personally I am much more connected to my acupuncturist who practices Functional Medicine. She gives me hope because she works on symptoms, researching and tracking from my own DNA results and other tests. I am not just another complaining patient!
When were you diagnosed? How old are you? Do you have family support? Can you express why you feel this way? Have you expressed this to anyone? I find it easier to discuss these feelings face to face with another PWP but definitely not someone with more severe symptoms!
Do you have access to a Hospice Association? I live in British Columbia, Canada. My local Hospice Society has a program called NavCare which has connected me to a trained volunteer who visits me every two weeks. She and I are a great 'fit' and I can really unload when she visits. This really helps as my husband, relatives and friends just cannot relate to how I feel.
They don’t have any reference points.
We are all going to die one way or another but if you can somehow deal one day at a time with the increasingly changing "new normal " and find something or someone that can give you a reason to get through that day and night, you probably will not feel so desperate. I am not a religious person so I cannot relate to that form of guidance, but if you are connected religiously, have you pursued that form of counselling?
Hope this helps but please don’t just wait for something to come your way....you need to be your own advocate and get help soon any way you can! 👍
Thank you for reaching out, even that isn't easy when you feel that way. I've been there, not wanting to go on. With the right meds and support it can get so much better. Please get help. And keep coming here for peer support, many of us know what you are going through. Sending much love your way.
What's your age. Which stage are you at?
It made me realise that other people feel like I do.
Starlove, try to give us more informations about disease, maybe we could be more helpful.
Thank you, so much, for sharing this. Feelings are neither right not wrong. The nature of having this debilitating ailment, sometimes, brings apathy, depression, and, I know with me, a sense of loss. It's important that you seek professional medical help right away. It's amazing how much professionals can be of help. Wishing you the best!
You're in so many hearts at HU and you've been given sound advice. Try to follow up on some of it-- and hang in there. Much love.
Life, relationships are hard enough without the complication of PD! Some counseling could take the edges off of some of the rough stuff - find a way to get counseling/support, PLEASE.
Statlove, you are not alone. You are not broken. This is not the end of you.
Don't even think about... Find the better solution.
I could have written those words last week. I was in a bad way. Besides the physical problems, I felt lonely. I reached out to, of all people, my sister who I have had some issues with lately. She stepped up and came over. It got me through the dark patch. I can’t say that I know exactly how you feel but I thought I would share.
Hi, mine was 2 weeks ago. Same physical problems and lonely. I reached out to my facebook friends. It helped
Hi Starlove, I have had similar feelings that were caused by too much medication. I cut back on one med at a time until I started to get better. Sometimes it just begins to affect our emotions when we see ourselves changing so much that we are no longer the person we have always been.
It helps me to dismiss my negative thoughts, quit dwelling on what I cannot do anymore, and begin to look for new interesting pursuits.
God made you and He loves you. He always cares about you, just be comforted that He will get you through this. You are not being punished, that’s not what He does in this world, He just wants you to choose to love Christ. This action converts God from a stern judge to a loving Father. Through His grace we become His family for eternity. Jesus paid for all the sins of the world, past and future, His work is done, allowing us to just meet, love, and follow Him. God bless you!
Sad
Fully understand and often feel the same. I struggle to find the energy to carry on let alone the point of it all. Dx 15 years ago, coming up to turning 60. With a variety of other problems I find it difficult to walk now (one of my greatest passions) have not been out of the house for three weeks. Only family is my married and very busy son who lives six hours away. On waiting list to see a councillor, could be 4 to 6 months. Gave up my car as couldn't trust my decision making. Often don't get dressed for 3 or 4 days. Just don't see the point of struggling on.
I feel the same as you often and it’s a very lonely isolated feeling. I’m only 4 years in with mild symptoms still and most days I feel like a useless human being because i can’t do anything well anymore. Luckily my husband cheers me up most of the time, is there someone in your life can make you laugh?
Hang in there. You are not alone 😊
ShakeyJackie in reply to
My now ex husband decided to leave 2yrs b4 dx and my two close friends both died from medical problems.
Oh.. no. We all have our peaks and valleys but every day I put one foot in front of the other. Please reach out for professional help.
I guess thats just about the way I feel every morning when I wake up, paralized for all practical purposes, knowing the struggle that I must face just to get out of bed. But inevitably, as time passes, minute by minute, I am gradually able to function, and with each hour the day always gets better and better. And I thank God that I do live alone, with weeks often passing by without seeing or talking to anyone else but Him, as no one else could begin to comprehend my feelings, needs, discomforts or frustrations.
Sometimes I ponder on the immense struggles of those para or quadriplegics, or those who have lost limbs, eyesight, hearing, psychological stability, and those in other conditions of disease, so much worse than mine, and I again thank God for sparing me from those situations.
Since I have no plumbing where I live, you can imagine the challenges with which I must deal from day to day. I have intentionally chosen to live this way, off the grid, and independent, as far as possible from the convoluted entanglements created by those invisible powers described in Paul's epistle to the Ephesians 6:12 (for you fellow Bible fans). And I have done so successfully, for approimately 25 years or so.
If you are scripturally minded, you might understand when I say that during that time, my Heavenly Father has shown me and guided me every step of the way, how to become free from dependence upon Mammon and its instruments, such as Social Security and Medicare, etc. At the same time, He has provided me with access to wifi.
In conclusion, you might know that God has made a promise, in Matthew 6:24-33 saying to all men who choose to seek Him first, if they will do so, He will provide for their needs. He has marked the path and shown me the way, and has been fulfilling this promise where I am concerned for the past 25 years.
This universe is large, and reality is immense, and there is so much to learn, especially with the internet tools He has made available. So perhaps you can see the reason I am, daily, able to struggle my way through the “I wish I were dead” phase of my mornings, and get on to my studies of the wonders of existence
Tell me what's going on with you; symptoms and relationship
Starlove1995, I hope that you have read all of the replies, so many caring folks, and advice from people that are experiencing the pain, discouragement, frustration and often embarrassing effects of PD. I also know that life is hard and often painful with or without PD. There are people that care.
You deserve better than to feel this way. Please reach out to your doctor and see a mental health clinician ASAP. Depression is treatable with talk therapy, medication and support so check out groups in your area. Do you have family or friends who have come through for you before? Perhaps a change in PD medication will help.
Starlove I am sending you love and hugs. Looking at all the responses, You have many friends here on the forum and we all support you and care about you. Please let us know you are ok. Thinking about you lots.
If you have issues with your relationship then just get out of it. A toxic relationship is a killer for people with PD. I went through that and I felt much better after. There is a lot of fish in the lake and you'll find somebody else or just stay single. It is not worth to dye for such a thing. Good luck!
I hope this person is ok 
