Do you feel you could discuss anything... - HealthUnlocked Blog
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Do you feel you could discuss anything about your health with your doctor, free from judgement?
An earlier version of this question used wording that wasn't clear, we're sorry about that! We hope that this question is clearer for you.
not so much judgmental,but lack of understanding. That’s when I get to see one.
^^Thats my reply too, word for word.
Most things yes, thyroid related things it depends on the doctor
I’m really lucky that my GP is really good and I can talk her about anything related to my health but if you re- worded the question to could you talk to your gynaecologist free from judgement then the answer would be no. I was referred to gynaecology due to Lichen Planus and associated Clitoral fusion and was told by a consultant gynaecologist that I had lost my clitorus when I had not, I was also repeatedly asked about not having sex with men (so you don’t have sex with men?) and then asked questions which appeared to be designed for heterosexual relationships (such as do you experience pain during sexual intercourse, have you had any STI) and the staff member did not appear to like my answers (depends what size dildo/ vibrator is used and oral thrush) and looked pretty disgusted. Don’t ask questions that you don’t want the answers too. I refuse to go back.
It really depends on the doctor. I have three doctors…absolutely yes I could. I have some, absolutely not but I am stuck with them. A huge problem is (with my current insurance, Kaiser) the doctors having very minimal time to spend with you for you both to get to know each other and develop that trust. I have never felt more like a commodity being processed in my life than when I was diagnosed with prostate cancer at Kaiser. It’s been a horrific experience…probably the worst medical experience of my entire life.
I have two doctors there (one who I know personally) who I feel totally comfortable with. The other one is outside Kaiser. The rest of them it’s been a horrible experience and generally a constant battle to get decent, timely care. Much of that stems from how little time they can spend with you and the doctors being super busy and burned out. It seems that most KP doctors are too busy and / or burned out to care. Finding good ones is a challenge. I’m not sure what I’ll do when my two great ones decide to retire.
It depends on who I get
I’m in a lucky situation really as I’ve a good relationship with my consultants & my doctors. Essentially the doctor & chemist have said they’re there as a check in case I don’t respond well to the hospital outpatient treatment. If the hospital says jump, the local services say how high. But they’re looking after me too.
my kaiser drs are all about meds nutrition is very often overlooked even w/IBS Just take this …. Or it’s all in your head …. Yes stress is a factor but it is more like I am a hypochondriac ????
Never get an appointment with my GP so the question of discussing anything does not arise.
My partner was behaving very badly. When I told my new GP about it, without any further questions, he said I should leave him (I'm 77). He said nobody should be treated like that, which was rather comforting, but a bit extreme, I thought on scant knowledge. I have too many health issues now and I feel there will never be enough time to discuss everything fully. I'm annoyed to find that my prescriptions have been altered without discussion with me, and I don't know who did. I have just had a huge blood test done, with no explanation as to what was being done or why. Most of it seems to be what I get done for my haematologist anyway, which I shall be doing at the end of next month. Some of it was a thyroid check but not enough for a proper check. Perhaps he is trying.😔
I would have said yes until my latest experience with a Dr I had not seen before. I have never felt so uncomfortable or judged. It was not easy getting an appointment to actually see a Dr. I initially asked for a phone call but then during the conversation I was surprised when I was offered an appointment. The Dr felt I had taken up an urgent appointment when it was not needed. I feel that this judgement had an effect on how the appointment went which was not good. Not because of any answers I was given but the manner in which I was spoken to.
I'm sorry to hear about the negative experiences you, and other users have, commented on.
I think the key problem we have in the health system boils down to money...and profits. Ultimately like any service, 'customers' of these health providers are looking for help and support. Likewise, the majority of professionals that go in to the service industries do so because they want to provide good outcomes for their customers. When profits are prioritised over people, then all the people elements are negatively affected in some way.
I'd like to respond to the original question by saying if we were allowed sufficient time to build and maintain doctor / patient relationships, we'd be more likely to trust one another.
Wishing you well!
Jo xxx
I would, for example, not feel that comfortable with things related to my couple, I would feel like I am taking about someone who's not in the room.
Cannot get help with my fibromyalgia or my mental health. My fibromyalgia affects my heart and due to not getting help, the paramedics have requested that they help, to no avail. I cannot even get a rescue plan fir my fibromyalgia. All appointments booked regarding ny fibromyalgia are cabcelled without telking me. With regard to my mental health they were told to prescribe an antidepressant (sorry, i cant remember the nane rught now), months ago, yet still havent done so. Im more than fed up with trying to get help and my depression is even worse now. 😡
Sorry to hear youve been having these issues.
The suggested medication I was offered by my Rheumatologist were Duloxetine and Pregabaline. After 2 months of not hearing any follow up from my GP, I sent a prescription request for the suggestions. Without even getting an appointment, the doctor organised the prescription.
I'm on Duloxetine now. My advice for those new to this drug...stick with the first few weeks of side effects. Once I got over the nausea and dizziness, I found them to be a great help.
Wishing you well!
Jo xxx
Thanks. I'm not surprised at the high levels of gaslighting from medical professionals...as usual. In the end I called the Rheumatology and they sent the letter from the consultant again, along with a nasty letter. Within 2 hours my gp called saying they'd overlooked the letter fir 3 months accidently. Liars !! Since then the antidepressants have made me feel calmer and the gp called the next week to check up on me. I hope it continues to help you. All the best 😍
Yep, gaslighting covering their own incompetence!
Hope you both Evonne & MissJose continue to improve.
I think he might judge but keep it to himself
Yes with my Primary Care doc. No with my rheumatologist. He only cares about lab numbers.
depending on which GP I’m seeing
yes i all ready do my doctors saved my life back in 2013
Not anymore, they just seem so very bored of me, put everything down to my spina bifida & aren't really interested.
I totally get the dismissal, DENZ01.
Some drs also don't not want to deal with a medical issue that they can't solve.
I had years of drs appointments, hospital emergency visits with pain and bleeding, specialist's appointments, and then, finally one who diagnosed the problem.
And then, when you get older -they can be even worse!!
Thank you very much Wunderkid 😊.
Everyone is going through different difficulties, I've just been given a few extra to deal with 😂😂 (I have to laugh or I'll just cry & I've spent too many hours crying!)
Best wishes to you 💕💕
Have just read your bio, DENZ01, it's amazing what you put up with. My thoughts are with you.
My only concerns with the question are that if it was an issue with my sexual health then I may have problems if my doctor was female. I do have ED and I’d be embarrassed.
I would and have but feel the expertise and quality isn't there.
Do we actually have a doctor any more? The ones at my local practice come and go almost every week.
Same here with my local practice. Any new drs who are good, leave pretty quickly. And the new drs who actually stay, end up on permanently low wages (as told to me by one) and from my observation, broken in spirit/going through the motions.
It depends on the doctor one is under. My GP is a gentleman so yes, even an epilepsy related issue. My Neurologist, no as I never get a proper answer.
Not seen a doctor (GP) for ages they have only taken emergency appointments for the past few years . Thats West Wales we have a crazy Labour Government
Wow, I thought the UK has much better than the US with socialized medicine. I’ll be more grateful when I only have to wait a week to get an appointment. That’s horrible for you and I’m sorry. Healthcare should be accessible!
I'm in the US and called my primary care doctor because of a problem I was having and they said the nurse would call me right back. She did and said can you come in tomorrow morning. Now not all doctors are like that but I've found some good ones so far. I've had some bad ones and just stopped going and found ones who at least seem to care.
Women seem to have no issues talking about womanly issues. So why do men become pussycats talking to male or even female doctors about their issues? I've met men with prostate cancer who stuck their heads in the sand rather than to open up. One friend died because he buried his head in the sand. Another friend had his wife sell his racing bicycle because he would not face up to reality. If you want to die, go for it, if you want to live, wake up and smell the roses and seek help. I've had prostate cancer, leukemia 3x, numerous skin cancer lesions. Every time, female doctors gave me better advice than male doctors. Indeed one so called male expert was brought to book by his CEO based on my recent complaint.
They won’t listen to your symptoms, so obviously can’t diagnose your problem and instead just say that you are suffering from stress, no matter how ill you become.
PMorriss
And if you are overweight forget any help and support. They write you off as soon as they walk in the room.
I don't feel that I can vote, SaskiaHU. A bald question like this without context gives me no idea what the purpose of the question is and what will be done with the answers. As I see from the comments others have made it is usually yes & no. So depending on why you are asking and what you will do with the answers my answer would yes or no.
I think my I could talk to my gp about anything if I could ever manage to get an appointment. I’ve had 2 open heart surgeries, a stroke, endocarditis etc etc all within 12 months and haven’t yet managed to see a gp. I suspect the only way to see a gp where I live is to turn up in a body bag and needing a death certificate!!
OMG that's terrible, but not at all surprising unfortunately.
I think it’s the same all over the U.K. I’m lucky that I’ve been seen by plenty of hospital based doctors but my GP is a different story. The only contact you get is via telephone and “e consult”. I’ve been to the surgery to get bloods done by the nurse and seen plenty of people being advised to go to nhs walk in centres. No wonder A&E is so busy. Hope it’s better wherever you are.
It's exactly the same here with the phone calls instead of face to face appointments. On the plus side I can usually speak to a doctor same day, where as I know people in other areas have to wait for ages just for a call. I'm glad you're being seen by hospital doctors at least!
I flat out refuse to do a telephone consult, even though a couple of drs at a local surgery tried that in the past. I understand that sometimes people have to but so far I have avoided.
It depends on which doctor I'm going to see. My primary and my rheumatologist I can tell anything to them and they seem like they are interested in me and don't rush me out. Saw my rheumatologist the other day and he walked in and gave me a hug and asked how are you doing now. Are the new meds helping. He's like an old hippie. Just adore him. Saw my primary the other day and the same thing she spent time with me and asked about the problems I'm having with my chest and that wasn't what I went in for. Some doctors I've been to basically come in and after 4 minutes leave. I then look for new doctors.
Wow he sounds amazing. I'm literally waiting for a call with a new rheumatologist hopefully within the next 15 minutes so hopefully I get a decent one too!
He is and I am so grateful that I was able to get in with him. He's no longer taking new patients. I wish all doctors were like him. I wish you good luck in finding someone.
No, because here in Scotland, there's such a push to get you to do it all online, that building any kind of trusting relationship with a Dr is impossible (for me) Especially as I've never met them in person. I now limit contact to necessary facts for treatment and prescriptions only.
I think they are too quick to dismiss our own knowledge and research so in that respect I do feel judged. I also don't feel that Doctors ever have enough time to discuss issues. I had a call with a doctor once that lasted just over 10 mins and on the call notes he put that it was a "lengthy call"!!! Just shows how little time they're actually supposed to spend per call!
I went to see a gastro doctor after my colonoscopy and he actually spent 4 minutes with me and just blew off any questions I had. I am now looking for a new doctor. But on the other side I had an appt. with a urogyn and she was in surgery and wasn't able to get there and they rescheduled for the next day but she personally called me and apologized and said to make sure I came the next day to see what's going on with me. Hard to find good doctors who care.
I've had exactly the same from a gastro doctor! He said all my symptoms are a figment of my imagination, including coughing up blood for 3 days, and literally told me to sit down with a cup of tea and antidepressants. I'm meant to be speaking to same doctor again in March. Fun times
I have started to listen to my body and if I think something is wrong I'm like a pitbull I just don't let it go. Found out I have an adenoma on my adrenal gland which causes all sorts of problem including digestive problems. Today you have to be your own advocate for your health. I feel bad for older people who have no one to stand up for them....even though I'm considered old I did work for doctors so don't put them on a pedestal. Now trying to find someone good for my diaphragm hernia which was operated on once and now is back. Never ending cycle. Good luck to you.
Chance would be a good thing..
unless you are dying you only get to speak to triage nurse at my local GP practice. She
liaises with a doctor and passes messages back and forth...
No, sadly... One GP told me to 'keep on, keeping on' and now I have been referred to a neuro consultant and came out of that 90 minute appointment with no less than 5 new referrals! The dismissive comment from the GP really got to me and clearly there's something very wrong according the the neuro consultant so if I hadn't pushed for a second opinion something serious could be missed.
It depends on which of my Dr.s I am speaking to about a specific concern
Going off at a tangent, I had an odd experience with our local Musculo-skeletal dept. I was referred with v bad bursitis in the both hip areas. I needed steroid injections. My GP was very good. I did have a steroid injection in the worst side at the MSk. dept. It worked like throwing a light switch. The pain practically resolved overnight. I was so grateful.
As I understood it my MSk. nurse was to phone me in a few days time to check on results. I was given a further appointment to have the second injection in the other side. He never phoned, but I was in fact fine. When I kept the second appointment he was surprised to see me. This second appointment was a telephone one he told me. News to me! Don't see how you can give someone an injection over the phone! This second appointment was 6 weeks after the first injection, which is the statutory time before you can have a second steroid injection, and I was booked in, (so I thought), to have the other side given a steroid injection, which had by now become a pain!
I have very mixed feelings about telephone appointments/consultations. I am sure they have their place, and used correctly can save time, travel and money, but in my case caused confusion, wasted time and disappointment! I am due to have my injection on 31/1/22, and not before time. And I've got it in writing.
I voted no because my endo things my symptoms are not related to my thyroid condition and they will not arrange for any repeat thyroid tests. I haven't had an appointment with them for 9 months and I was meant to have had a follow up with them 4 months ago. I don't believe it'll be that long before they start asking me "how are things at home?"
Hey, i am staring today.
I don't really feel comfortable discussing touchy subjects with my doctor because he seems to dismiss it. I guess I need to find a new doctor🤔
HI S-HU.
My only question is if we don't trust our own doctor then who can we trust. Even our appointments are usually one to one , I mean if you are religious & Catholic , U don't tell ur priest the things we openly tell our GPs & I mean anything both mental & physical & here in the UK our so called educated MPs are just about realising that mental health is no longer make believe as they would.
A dr free from judgement? -Very unlikely.
In my experience ignorance on age, race, culture and individual situations also contributes to flawed assessments and judgements.
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I feel completely unlistened to do what's the point. I have been told I am a victim of medical gas lighting.
I'm very lucky with my GP as he does listen to me and does his best to try and help. I had a face to face recently because I pushed for it, spent most of the time in tears but he didn't hurry me, listened and suggested a couple of things.It's reception that I have the problem with, it must be an e-referral can't be done over phone. They did however sort it yesterday as I stood my ground, explaining that I could not do it due to the CF.