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hi im new to here ..iv had copd for 6 years now .just got a new chest specalist and ended up very emotional .she basically said my apperance doesn't match my illness .was firing questions that fast got all mixed up .asked my own questions still no answer .she was to busy asking if been on holiday nice tan and what i was wearing ..was very took back and upset .didnt know a dress code went with diagonisis

15 Replies

How upsetting for you pinkrainbows and how inappropriate. Dress code has nothing to do with diagnosis. Is there nobody else you can see or talk too? Xxx

Well! I have got a good tan too. Spent a few days sitting out in the sun here and was out all Sunday morning and nearly got burnt. I always try to look my best and dress well. I go to a clinic once every quarter and most of the people who go there look smart - why shouldn't they? Maybe we should all get fat and wear grubby trackies and not wash our hair so that our "appearance suits our symptoms". What an a*****e. Sorry but REALLY! Makes me spit. Keeping myself looking nice and dressing well helps me feel better even though I may not be very well at all.

Hi PRB,how totally unprofessional--In her mind probably thought she was bonding with you--Finding a Dr who is a match can be hard and I have gotten very disheartened and even quit going before to the detriment of my own health--I can no longer do that--See someone else--It is your right-They have told me at the clinic I go to if I don't jive with my dr I can see someone else there but I always feel guilty--We need to take back our bodies and realize they work for us not vice versa---MmeT

Hi pink rainbows

Welcome 🌷

What a bloody cheek !!!


Perhaps she was just trying to be pleasant and put you at ease.

Either way, don't let it get to you.

It's lovely to take pride in your appearance, and it lifts your spirits. carry on just the way you are.

Next time why not write all your questions down before you go, and take them with you, l do this as l always forget what l wanted to ask.

Good luck and hope to hear more from you


Hi and welcome pinkrainbows, appearance does'nt match illness? What sort of appearance should we have then? Such a shame you were upset though, easy to say I know but don't let that upset you. Always someone around if you need an ear. Take care S. Xx

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how frustrating pinkrainbows. She will have to write to your GP to tell them her cpnclusions and how to treat you. Wait a couple of weeks then ask the GP for a copy. If you are on your GPs computer access system you should be able to read it on there. Keep enquiring until they have received it and can give you a copy.

O dear. It leaves you feeling really confused doesn't it? I had an experience slightly opposite but similar when I went to see a respiratory nurse. I was feeling very positive - given up smoking, started working out, felt MUCH better than when I was first diagnosed. Oh, she said, you've probably just hit a plateau, and then, people do get depressed you know, when they've got these long term illnesses. You'll have to be prepared for that ....... it was like a slap on the nose. I felt - still feel - so discouraged by it! I've got to go and see her again in 6 weeks and I'm wondering how to 'play it'! Trudge in with my head down and hope she'll try and cheer me up a bit? Ha ha ha. You take care of yourself pinkrainbows - you're right, keeping yourself looking good is part of the battle too. xpiggix

That's awful PR. and you'd think a woman would be more understanding. Over my lifetime of Bronchiectasis, I've had 5 consultants, one of whom was a woman. She was as hard as nails and had a reputation for being brusque and bossy. She was all those things, though not so much to me, as we got on reasonably well. But she was far less kind then any of the others who were men. That consultant of yours sounds downright b*****y and a bully to boot.

She also seems to be operating in a directly opposite way to how most consultants operate. I remember reading that once you walked through the door of the consulting you were being 'studied' and that by the time you sat down, they would have an opinion of how you well you are based on your appearance, personal hygiene etc. In other words they could judge if someone was not well enough to look after their clothes, their hair etc. but your doctor seems to be turning that on it's head by saying you look too well to be sick. It's bad enough to have to put up with that from 'well-meaning' relatives or neighbours.

She sounds like somebody who I would hate to have in charge of my health. I hope you can see somebody else and if necessary explain why you want to change.

She sounds like a right charmer pinkrainbows (love the name, by the way). Maybe next time you see her go prepared with your own questions written down so that you can be a bit more in control of what's going on - and wear what you want and look how you want to make yourself feel at your best :) x

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Good morning and welcome pr

How totally unprofessional. What is the point if you lose interest in yourself and your appearance. I don't know anyone who doesn't make an extra effort when visiting the dentist or doctor or even leaving the house to catch a bus to the shops I make sure I have given my dirty gardening hands a jolly good wash. I have a beautiful deep tan on both arms, hands, face and neck and that is all anyone else ever sees (fortunately for them)

You have lots of good advice and sympathetic ears on here. Try to forget what she said and move on.


just like to say a massive thank you to everyone for welcoming me here.and fantastic supporting understanding replys .feel more uplifted just reading them..x

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y_not in reply to pinkrainbows

Send me their name! I'll visit them - the way I usually look they'll be calling for the undertaker if they base health on looks!

I get quite envious of the tan some people have! Have to stay out of the sun because of the drugs ;0(

Welcome to the group pinkrainbows. I agree with what everyone else has said above - what an ignorant woman she must be. If you carry on feeling uncomfortable with her then you must ask to see someone else. All best wishes.

That has to be one of the silliest things I have ever heard especially coming from a doctor. I have known several people who were very ill but you would never know by looking at them. I can't imagine how you should look different having COPD than not having COPD unless you were using oxygen. I guess there are more physical signs the more advanced the disease gets but everyone is different and don't all have the same physical changes.

First, you need to see another doctor. One that takes your illness seriously.

Second 'appearance doesn't match your illness'??? Are we suppose to drag ourselves around looking like we just got up out of a sickbed?

I never question anyone that uses a wheelchair, handicap parking space or crutches. They may 'look' healthy, but like us, there are days when just making it thru the day is a struggle.

There are times when, I may look healthy, but just walking from my car to the store and back can wipe me out. I'm don't want to use the 'handicap' parking space that is close to the store entrance because people will look at me and think ''what is she doing using a special parking space. She doesn't look handicapped". Then there are other days that I'm fine with the walking.

Again, go see another doctor, Beth

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