Murder in Tescos'!: Tired of... - British Lung Foun...

British Lung Foundation
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Murder in Tescos'!


Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife, with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.

A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious, dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out of a spouse was £10,000.

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single pound coin that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes and reluctantly agreed to accept the pound as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Tesco Store. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.

However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras and observed by the shop's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the premises.

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.

The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared....

ARTIE CHOKES 2 for £1.00 @ Tesco's

:-D :-D :-D

21 Replies



I don't quite know what to say....lmao.

Hahaha!😁😁😁😂😂😘😘😘 xxx

Brilliant xx


😂😂😂 brilliant!

Painful lol!

Like that:-)

Groooaaaaan! 😀😀

Hahaha, loved that one. x

Good Morning Nikkers, Very good,made me laugh,beautiful morning here in West Kent, promises to be very hot, have a good weekend, Best wishes, Bulpit

in reply to bulpit

Very hot already here in West Sussex. Shopping day....not looking forward to it. Have a good one Bulpit. XX

Good one! Now I've just got to remember it lol xx

Good one Nikkers

😆😆😆😆😆😆 xx

Excellent and very funny! Have a great weekend. xxxx

Love it !!!



Hi Nikkers,

Wonder if Tesco's will run the offer again soon!!!!!

It's a beautiful morning here in Maidstone, hubby's tidying up the garden, I'm recovering from my 3 day a week stint looking after the grandkids and enjoying the peace and quiet. I don't know about parents who can't wait for the school holidays to end but this nanny and granddad as much as we love them can't wait.



Have a lovely "quiet and peaceful" weekend BR.....just wish I had a garden! lol. XX


I feel all choked up now!! xx

I'm all choked up because I can't laugh without reaching for the oxygen, very funny!!

Sorry, I never meant to "choke " anyone! Lol.

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