How long

[Sandra1964Marie]

Hi there everyone. Sorry to burden the group as I know you all have battles. I had my CA in may 2019, thankfully I was saved by the fantastic medical staff when I collapsed. I had no warning or symptoms. A second chance I was told however I still can’t cope. Every twinge, feeling im on edge, I think it’s because I have no memory of what I felt at time. I’ve tried councillors. My wife and family are supportive but I feel I’m in this alone. I’m 54 and feel life is stuck. Any advice or thoughts, I’m out.

[Hidden]

Hi, I had an SCA in April 2018, like you I had no memory of the period leading up to and after the arrest, probably about 5 weeks missing. It took me the best part of 20 months before I felt I was ‘happy’ with the way my ‘New’ normal felt.

I posted ‘My story’ & another post which you may find of use, at least to show there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You can find them on my profile.

Ask all the questions you want, there are no stupid ones!

Someone will be along to answer.

Gaz

[Sandra1964Marie in reply to Hidden]

Thanks gaz just read your posts I need to get my thinking positive and I can see from what you wrote it’s possible to live again, well done

[080311]

Hello

When we go through a heart event it’s devastating, our whole world is turned up side down. You have to give yourself time to come to terms with what as happened and have the confidence to start living your new life again, as Gaz said it’s now the new normal. By the way it’s no burden to post on the forum we are all here to help each other along the way.

Remember you are still you and the feeling of being anxious will reduce with time. You say about your family being supportive, that’s great but until you have had a heart event it’s difficult to put into words how we feel.

We know we have been given a second chance so we have to make the most of it. Just sometimes it’s hard moving on.

I had Aortic valve replaced and bypass and it took me a long time to get over the thoughts that someone had had my heart in their hands. It use to pull me up short but now it’s something I look on as a gift that I was given.

You are a member of the Hearties family and we are all here to listen or give you a shoulder to lean on if you need to.

Best wishes Pauline

[Sandra1964Marie in reply to 080311]

Thanks for that. I never thought I’d end up in this situation and it’s stuck a Great Wall in front of me, from an outgoing person to a nervous wreck. I’ve bought any gadget I can, bp machine etc. I seem to look for reassurance Thanks Steve

[080311 in reply to Sandra1964Marie]

I just had a smile, we all have the gadgets. It’s part of our new life. The only thing I am short of is a stethoscope 😂, taking our blood pressure is just part of our lives now, the same as using the oximeter. You will get there

Pauline

[Smileyian in reply to 080311]

What a pleasant lady you are Pauline. God Bless you.

[080311 in reply to Smileyian]

Hi Ian

How are you today? Hope your doing ok. Thank you for your kind words, my mother used to say you only pass this way once so try to be kind and helpful where you can. Life is hard enough 😂

Take good care Pauline

[Smileyian in reply to 080311]

Your Mother was Spot On so let us take her wise advice.

[reidmar]

Hi SandraYou're definitely not on your own, just ask anyone on this site or who's had "an event" and we'll all tell you the same thing that we've been through and for some myself included are still going through the same scenario. I'd a quadruple bypass aged 57 and 2 years later there's still times when you get a wee twinge and the mind starts "is this it?", All I can say is that thankfully it's less than it was and you soon start to get your head round the whole

" well it - the twinge, happened before and came to nothing so move on".

Listen i've a brother in law with 3 stents and he still gets it after 4-5 years but again it's the human mind and human nature, we've all got one and it's great at some times and a bloody curse at others. Try not to dwell too long when it happens, find something relaxing to do and enjoy what you have, maybe try to find a friend or support group to talk to as I know it's sometimes not the easiest to talk through with family as you "wouldn't want to be a burden" (I think we've probaly all felt this at some stage but we're not and they'll tell you this and mean it) I've found it's normally easier talking to a close friend instead of family and fortunately (or unfortunately in his case) he's had an episode of poor health with strokes but come through the other side and yes he's had the exact same issues with any wee twinges "shock - horror" and there's me thinking to myself that it was only me!

The whole 2nd chance is right when we take a step back and look at it, years ago a lot of us on here wouldn't be still here if medicine hadn't made the steps they had so I just look at it as i've been lucky to have gotten through the other side of what happened and survived and have a chance to maybe change my ways (diet & exercise) and try make best use of MY 2nd chance. Treat yourself every once in a while and enjoy the treats when they come along.

Sorry if I've babbled on a bit but hey once you get started it's hard to stop, take it day by day and enjoy each day as much as we can seems to be the common message coming through from most, easy to say but harder to do at times but we just do it!

Look after yourself

Take care and be healthy

Mark x

[Smudgebuttonjessie]

HiNo one on here is a burden, that’s what we are all here for,, to support each other. I’m new on here as i had bypass surgery 10 weeks and following several complications i found the best on this site. I am medically trained which has advantages and disadvantages. We are all human beings that have been through traumatic experiences that take time to heal. Don’t over do it with the the self monitoring as this can increase your anxieties. As you see on here the positive support is amazing. I’m in very early days of recovery but i’m now starting to feel positive for myself and for my family as they are the ones that have had to watch me suffer and couldn’t do anything to help me, it’s being traumatic for those too.

Stay in touch on this site and to will get the support you need

Take care xx

[Lezzers]

Hi Steve, my husband was 42 when he had a massive heart attack and cardiac arrest. He doesn't remember anything about the days before hand or after and he was seriously depressed. Having a cardiac arrest is the ultimate event you can ever experience, even witnessing one is extremely traumatic and the vast majority of people suffer with PSTD afterwards. Yes it is a 2nd chance but knowing that doesn't stop the fear & stress! What helped my husband was talking it through with people who understood. There is a website called sudden Cardiac Arrest support uk, I highly recommend you have a look at the site for advice & information. They also have a closed Facebook group of the same name, again I highly recommend you join the group which is solely for the survivors of CA and their family and carers. So much support & understanding there for you.Just to let you know my husbands CA was in 1997, we're approaching the anniversary of it and its never an easy time but it does and has got easier over the years.

Best wishes

[andy110519]

Snap, mine was May'19 & I had no warning. It was followed by OHS for AVR. I was very lucky where it happened as there was a AED to hand and a first responder happened to running that morning so my down time was relatively short which seems to make a big difference.I reasoned why it happened at that particular time and pretty much spent the first year recovering enough from my surgery to be able to run a reasonable 5k on my anniversary. That was also when I started to struggle a bit with things, talking to someone temoved from the situation helped, I have a friend who works in mental health. Also there is a group SCA UK which I have found helpful, everyone in it has either had an SCA or a close friend/family member has.

I had to buy a BP monitor to help me and whenever I do check my blood pressure it's always the same. Also ended up in A&E one evening as having chest pains, not too bad but it had kept going for a few hours. Turned out to be nothing.

I know a lot in the SCA group have ICD's fitted as there was no reason found for their SCA, I think I would find that much harder mentally.

Hang in there, I'm sure it will get easier.

[Qualipop]

I "only" had a heart attack in 2018. It took me a full year and a bit to stop panicking at every twinge or ache. I didn't get any cardiac rehab which would have helped me tremendously but I'm in a wheelchair and they reckoned I couldn't do it. Just he mere fact of being supervised by a nurse would have helped me massively. t was 6 months before I even dared go out on my own, not helped by awful side effects from the tablets. I also tried counselling and ended up teaching the girl rather than the other way round. Don't feel bad by feeling like this. It's a massive massive shock but it will and does get better. What helped me was realising how lucky I was to survive it. The doctors had fixed the immediate problem and it w as up to me to make sure it didn't happen again by diet and exercise. I still have the occasional hiccup if I get chest pain and can get very irritable when something is worrying me. You need to explain to family how you are feeling and why so they can understand. It's difficult to get the support we need during this pandemic but do use your rehab nurse; phone whenever you need some support and try to do something where you can actually see an improvement. I know it's horrid weather but a 5 minute walk, then 100 yards further , then another 100 yards can really help. Set yourself a goal. When you an actually see an improvement it does wonders for your mind. Don't plan a marathon just yet LOL. My goal was just getting upstairs without pain then cutting back some plants in the garden. I built up from 5 minutes o 10 and slowly to an hour. Some people develop PTSD after a heart problem so speak to your doctor about the possibility.

[jowalk6]

Hi. I had a SCA in 2014 at home. My middle son gave me cpr until the first responder arrived. I have no memory from about two weeks before the event and about 3 weeks after. I spent 9 days on life support 4 weeks in Hospital in total. It is very scary and you feel nobody really understands. I have found CBT therapy and then EMDR really helped me. I feel so blessed to still be here now and to enjoy another Christmas with my three boys, my youngest was only 8 months old when it happened. Things will get easier hun, just give yourself time and keep talking. Jo x

[Sandra1964Marie]

Thanks very much for all the support and positive thought from everyone. The talking bit is the hardest, I’m a bit difficult that way but seeing things written down are a plus. I’m gonna start trying to get rid of the alone feeling first and push on with rest. I’ve also decided to show my wife I’m on this site which I think be helpful. Many thanks Steve

[LBCdance]

Never a "burden" Sandra, that's the beauty of this site, everyone understands the insecurity and being scared and I am really grateful that I stumbled across it. I feel such a bore if I talk to friends who aren't affected by heart problems so tend not to. Here I feel normal. There is a lot of humour here as well as positive thought and sensible advice, has helped me clarify my jumbled thoughts and feel confident that any of us could ask anything, great safety blanket. I think you are goin g to be fine.