I know full well it wouldn't matter 'cos I'd be sitting on a fluffy cloud trying to keep away from my Mother... and Himself would be complaining to St Peter because there weren't any crossword puzzles to do...but I have a bit of a thing about all the stuff we have under the bed...and have fleeting thoughts of pure horror that someone would be sighing and muttering in disgust when they came to clear the cottage out.
We don't have any cupboards as such you see...apart from the hot-press that is and I refuse to go in there...it's the home of the mutant spiders.
So everything we don't need now this minute is crammed into those plastic boxes especially designed to go under beds...and they gather oodles of dust bunnies...Bobby...the Collie dog, sleeps under the bed as well, though his legs tend to stick out and trip Himself up when he gets up in the night to go to the loo or to make me a nice cup of tea...
Armed with a proper dust mask and the vacuum and a cushion to kneel on 'cos of my knees, I set forth. And found my collection of china cats...another collection of decorated tin eggs...an Ostrich egg painted with a scene of Table Mountain in South Africa...a cardboard box totally crammed full of very important papers which included the exercises I was given by the re-hab nurse...I fished them out as they were near the top of the pile and she'd said something about 'thighs' which I ought to read again...
There were clothes as well...summer tops that I've not worn in donkeys years and loads of stuff which in all honesty could only really be classed as rubbish...it's all gone. Some for the charity shop some on the bookshelves and some for the re-cycling place. There's just the cardboard box of very important papers left and I really can't face delving into them just yet...
The next worse place is a set of bookshelves with a dresser underneath...also in the bedroom. The dresser is bursting with family history stuff...everything from photos of stern looking men with big moustaches to a copy of the certificate my English Grandpa received when he joined the Free-Masons...there's also all the research I've ever done on deviant burials...mountains of that which needs sorting and indexing. The book shelves are crammed full of cheap thrillers bought from car boot sales and charity shops that are just sitting there mouldering away...
Just in case you're wondering about all the dust bunnies and me with my lungs...I sleep on the settee! With Eilis. Who snores.
And actually I'd like a cleaning lady...someone horribly efficient who'd polish the taps and hurl spiders out of the windows without shuddering and who wouldn't be fazed by the occasional mouse skipping across the kitchen floor...the sort of person who'd make it her business to sweep under the bed.
Just need to work on Himself's horror of spending money...!
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VASHTI you are a natural have you never ever thought of putting all this beautiful prose into a book I never tire of the way you put the most tedious of chores and make them so exciting and tell me if you dare what does your name Vashti mean my Gaelic has gone with the many years I left your shores?
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Vashti is actually a Persian name Anthony...it's in the Bible in the Book of Esther...she was the wife of a king but he banished her and married Esther instead...lol...it's pronounced Vash-Key...
Hope you're keeping well xxx
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Of course in the first book of Esther the daughter of King Ahasuerus my brain is not as active as it used to be these days. Me I nearly have my first week over on the IV antibiotics at home trouble is I get nauseous from the stuff they are using but still a small price to pay for what I hope will be an end to all these chest infections I had this year
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I do hope the antibiotics work for you Anthony...IV ones make me feel ill so I do know how you must be feeling...keep warm and keep breathing xxx
Well Vashti, you've done it again! made me smile on a fresh and chilly morning in West Sussex. You have such a way with words and you should write a book, just don't stick a copy of it on the shelf to be mouldering away with the others.
You need a fairy who could flutter in, wave her magic wand and dispense with dust, spiders and mice forever. Wouldn't that be perfect but where to find her. I am afraid the spiders would send me shrieking off into the distance as I am such a wuss.
Do keep writing and entertaining us all. Stay well and take care. xxxx
Wonderful, as always. Sounds a bit like my house, although I have started to have a big clear out. Surprising what you find that you'd forgot about, so it can't really be needed, can it? Be ruthless Christine, get rid!!!
Exactly...if you've forgotten about it then you don't need it now...clearing out and being ruthless isn't really my 'thing' though...bit of a pack rat really...!
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