I guess this is my first post so I should introduce myself. I'm Grace. I'm 21 and a junior in college. I've been in remission from leukemia for 7 years. But I can't seem to shake my guilt for being alive. I lost 3 close friends who I met at the hospital to cancer. I feel like I can't fully enjoy my life because I hate myself for surviving cancer and feel like I don't deserve to be alive any more than my friend did. Any suggestions on how to deal with this and live live fully?
Survivor's Guilt (trigger warning) - American Cancer S...
Survivor's Guilt (trigger warning)
3 Replies
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There is no suggestion how to live life fully other than actually live life fully. I know what you feel. I truly do. And those feelings are something every second survivor lives with. Try your best to live YOUR life, if you are here there is the reason of it. Take care.
Grace,
Survivor's guilt is not an uncommon thing. You have been through a lot in your cancer journey. Sadly, not all of us will as well as the others. When we do treatment our goal is to stay alive and find ways to continue having a good quality of life. Outcomes will always be different for different people.
Who does well and who doesn't is based on an individual's value, it is a result of the specific cancer we each have and the treatments we have. There is no magic here, no moral judgments.
I am sure that you know this intellectually, but emotionally knowing and accepting is very different. Given what you have probably gone through I believe that you might have some level of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD.)
If I felt like you do I would seek brief counseling where you can explore your feelings. With the correct counselor, you should be able to put this into perspective.
Joel
Hello u shouldn't feel guilty that u survived and they didn't everyones body is different and response to treatments differently i should know been battling mine for 3 yrs and still no all clear so be blessed that u have had doe 7 yrs to be with family and friends life is tp short always live it to-the fullest