AF Association
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I opened my mouth

Yesterday it felt good to make coffee for my husband. I even told I'm it's ok to do laundry before he goes to work. I got paid back by him getting drunk, tell me I dont appreciate what he has been doing for me while I'm recovering and then he sleep on the couch. I haven't any friends to talk with that are close to me so not only is this condition very lonely but I am literally alone. All I have is this group talk to.

Looks like I can no longer wait to heal up. I best get moving on cleaning the house before the bugs move in.

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Sorry to hear that Ruby.....I know it can be difficult sometimes, but being perfect, my wife is very lucky because I never do anything to upset her!!!! God help ME if she reads this!!! Being poorly is a strain for everyone involved, but lets gope you continue to improve and that things get back to an even keel as soon as possible. At least you can "sound off" in here which has to be good.....good luck.......

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Where do you live? Is it far away from other people or have you just had no chance to socialize through being poorly?

Your husband is doing the kiddie thing where they kick you on the ankles when you come back from leaving them with a babysitter instead of giving you a big hug! He misses you being your normal self. He'll be sorry later but I bet he won't say 💕

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It is not nice what he does sometimes. But the hangover is worse than anything punishment could give him. So for the next couple days he will suffer and I will grim at him with the evil wife grin and say no more.

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That's sad.

You will appreciate it is difficult to have the answer for everything but I can only say keep posting on the forum and whenever possible I know someone will offer moral support.

Despite this event, make sure you do not do too much too soon, the bugs can wait but do try and do something different or extra each day.

Pete

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This group is my moral support. Some day I come to make everyone smile and laugh other days I come to cry my eyes out. I can talk about anything and not feel judged, but feel welcome. We all here have similar issues and we can compare them. Now. Being from across the Atlantic I have a hard time with how many different meds you have to help you. Here we have very few meds. And surgery sucks. I had 6 ablations, 6 icds and a sympathectomy. But it's fun to find out what's next.

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What do you mean by meds.

Are you referring to the drugs that are prescribed?

If that is so I for one find it most confusing because it seems to me that there are as many different drug regimes that are adopted for treatment as there are hospital regions in the UK.

For example I started with Sotalol 26 years ago. Then 2-3 years later I was switched to Flecainide and Bisoprolol in combination plus Warfarin.

About 4 years ago they switched me to Ameoderone. I could not tolerate it. So they switched me back and that is the sum total of all my "meds" over that very long period. Others mention drugs I have never heard of.

There.... I told you we would find something else for you to think about.

Pete

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Yes meds are my prescriptions. I would say drugs but here in the US drugs are crap from the streets. Medications can be very confusing. Most of the time I have to look up what the doctors are or were giving me to find out how it works and how it's different.

I was on Rythmol for 10 years comb with metoprolol. That worked well. Then they tried Sodalol and tykosyn. Neither of those worked. My last option was the sympathectomy. My heart was drawing in my adrenaline to the point that if I did not have the surgery I would be dead in a year. Now I seem doc to see if I still need medicine or if they have to go cut the other side. Sympathectomy is done on the left side first. Extreme cases get both sides.

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Yes drugs are also crap on the street in the UK but we also use the word for our normal medicines.

Complex area - language and medicine.

Take care and I hope you feel better soon.

Pete

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I like you. You have such a light heart. You like many others do your best to make me smile with the simplest of words. Thank you.

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Ruby, it sounds as though you have standards which are not his standards!

He sounds as though he's a reactive person rather than a proactive one and this is a situation which will show that up.

Same goes on here in my house. I'm proactive and my husband is a reactive who likes to moan about having to do anything.

It makes me mad they think they're doing these things for you and not for them too.

Your husband won't know half the things you do because you just get on with them and make it look easy so he probably genuinely doesn't know they need doing.

He is obviously used to being very looked after and has a great wife to be grateful for (but he won't realise that either!).

He'll probably have a think about all this and do a bit more.

It's very frustrating but not worth a big falling out over.

Get well soon.

Pat x

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Yes I have to agree with you on many levels. But there are a few factors that dot help me. 1 my husband watched him mum die at home of cancer so not seeing me move as much as he likes has his brain messed up and the second factor is his ex wife would go online and look for something to be sick about then run to the doctors for meds for a illness she didn't have.

Non the less my husband loves me and will do anything for me. He just gets his rough spells.

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We have similarities there!

My husbands mother had breast cancer when he was a teenager (she lived another 20 + years and died from something else) and she took it very badly, very depressed and crying a lot. She and the whole family were convinced she would die, so he lived in a very illness heavy household for several years.

I think that made him hardened to illness and medical issues or perhaps he's in denial or frightened.

My husband is lucky as he's always been in good health himself, 🤞🏻Which could be why he has trouble empathising or even believing someone can be really incapacitated.

15 years ago I was in hospital for a whole week(not with my heart). He had the week off work to look after the children who were at school all day. He only popped in to see me for 15 minutes a day as he 'didn't like hospitals' ! Well, who does?

And of course your husband loves you!

It's the frustration of not being able to do it all yourself right now and seeing it all waiting to get done that's tipped you over.

It's allowed.

You'll be ok.

Pat x

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