I hate myself so much. I'm miserable every day. I'm stuck in a tiny rural town in a conservative state filled with bigots. I don't have a single friend, I don't have a boyfriend, I can't transition, my family tries to control me, I'm broke, my OCD gets worse every day, and I just want to get out of here. I'm so tired of it.
The only advice i get online is stuff like "look for the positives." I cant think of a single positive thing about myself. If I even try I just feel like a self absorbed asshole.
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frankenstein13
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Please don't hate yourself. You're not the problem here the other people who don't understand you are. How old are you? You said your can't transition...is that because of your age or because of your parents? People should live and let live you know what I'm saying. Wishing you peace and well-being.
I'm 19. I live with family that I'm not out to, and I don't believe they would be supportive. I know I'm technically an adult and can do what I want, but it's not always that simple.
I'd like to suggest that you be open to the IDEA of loving yourself. Just be willing to be open.
Maybe ask yourself what is ONE thing, even if it's TINY that you don't think is that bad about you. It could be "I try to be nice to people" or "I haven't given up" or "My hair is okay" 😉 And let that be a starting point.
I am sorry that you feel so bad about yourself. I used to absolutely LOATHE myself. I never gave up and now, at 58, I can honestly say that I love myself. I even think I look good 😊 (the one exception is my tummy, I lived through the time when only a flat tummy was acceptable, but I haven't given up there either).
I mention all that to let you know that there is hope! 💚💚💚💚
Hi nice to meet you. I’m so sorry for your intense pain. I’ve been there. It can get better. But I know the desperation feeling and the feeling it will never get better. For me it did and I wish and said a little meditation prayer for you wishing you well and that you will find all you need to love yourself and to be happy one day. I hope you don’t mind. Love ❤️ to you. Keep writing here or on paper if it helps you.
That to me is part of the problem. Self care is an important vital necessity.....it's not at all selfish to put your self care at the top of your priority list.
I've been taught by everyone I've known that I am selfish or a burden. I'm never picked first, when I did have "friends" none of them actually wanted to spend time with me outside of school, I've always been the last choice. And when I want people to spend time with me I'm just considered clingy or selfish or both. I don't think there's any "self care" I can do when I don't even deserve that much.
Mizzou7016 means well he’s a sensitive heart I think that was tough love in a way, he tries to cut all the fat off things it works well for him and others. that was kind of you to show respect and express your honest rejoinder.
I learned that lesson the hard way a few years ago...was working so hard to be accepted and respected...that the opinions of others mattered. Almost cost me my life....my circle is small...I know that people are going to be disrespectful...but I learned that as long as I was putting forth my best effort...that is all that matters...adopting this attitude has put the right people on the windy roads of my journey..just keep being the best you you can be...it will put the right people on your path
I think we all go through self loathing to a degree frankenstein13, I have and do. It’s what makes us human and fallible and complex. I know my disliking myself has changed throughout my life, the reasons for it have evolved along my path. I accept and actually am strong in areas I didn’t have any security at all when I was younger. these days it’s different, I don’t like my mistakes, especially ones I’ve made in the relationships with those I love. Yes you will find loves too. that dislike for my errors in turn becomes dislike for myself, I have trouble separating the two. we have to learn and relearn how to keep from the negativity taking over, it is very very difficult for some of us, like it is for you. there is hope and peace when we can find something worth loving ourselves for, then it’s not such a drag living with ourselves and allure to life begins to appear.
You are unique; there is not another person on this earth exactly like you, OK, you don't fit the 'norm'; but, 'norm' is boring.
Be YOU, don't be afraid, you are perfect as you are, and nobody has any right to say otherwise. You are 19, Many years ahead of you, (tell you a little secret; my son is Bi!) No biggie, and a great son. I couldn't ask for better. He's just coming up 35, and I'm one of the oldest here at 76.
As soon as you can, get out of that town; it seems like it won't be good for you longterm. Get some money together, and if necessary leave the State. Don't know if you've been to College, but when you finish, go. The world can be your oyster if you grab it and take the chance. It's a big world, and I am sure you will find your place in it.
I plan to move to California as soon as I can, but it's easier said than done. I have no friends or family that can help me move and no money, and getting a job is nearly impossible for me in my situation. I want to get out of here
I know how you feel. Ohio is conservative, also. But you have no control over others. Is there any way you can leave the state? I know depression freezes you up. I am old enough to be your grandmother. So I know the struggles you feel. I read lots of self -help books in the past. Exercise has helped me feel better about myself. Contact me if you want to.
I want to move away as soon as possible, specifically to California. It's just not that easy. I'm only 19 and I don't have any friends or family that would be able to help me. I don't have a job and it's extremely difficult for me to get one due to both disability and there just not being that many job options where I live. I'm slowly saving up money, but it's taking way too long. I also know absolutely nothing about how to get a house/apartment or just moving in general.
I'm sorry you have such low self-esteem. That seems to be a common issue for all of us with depression and anxiety. Hopefully you can get some help, maybe from a therapist, to see your worth. As for being in a conservative state, I must inform you that no single state in the union is all conservative or all liberal or all progressive (or all jewish or all christian or all muslim, etc). Do you see where I'm going with this? We need to stop categorizing people. When it comes to this HU group, we are about Anxiety and Depression and it has nothing to do with politics or religion. Mental health issues affect both sides equally. I'm sure there are many conservative people in this group and you are diss'ing on them when you say those things. You may be hurting someone's feelings without even knowing it. that being said, I hope you can find a place where you feel accepted.
Hi. I noticed in your response that you said religion and politics have nothing to do with depression and anxiety. I'm curious to know how you came to this conclusion. I think religion and politics affect us severely all over the world and are major influences on how we are treated, so to me, they absolutely affect our mental health. You also said that the poster is dissing on conservatives. What did the poster say that would offend conservatives? I hope you are not offended by my response; your response intrigued me and I'm open to expanding my perspectives by learning about other people's opinions.
Read the group guidelines which the moderators have pinned to the top of our group. This is not a forum for promoting or criticizing politics or religion.
Thank you for your reply. I believe you are referring to number 23 in the group guidelines - “Off-topic conversations not centered around anxiety, depression or treatment is allowed in moderation however the support team reserves the right to remove posts that provoke unrest in the community. This can include religious and/or political posts.” - From what I have read, the poster merely touched on what is contributing to their anxiety and depression, which they believe include discrimination due to certain beliefs held by people in the town they are living in. The focus should be on the fact that the poster is at a very low point in their life and needs practical advice and emotional support. “You may be hurting someone’s feelings without even knowing it” is unfortunately a form of gaslighting. We can all hurt everyone without even knowing it; if we consider literally everyone’s feelings all the time, we end up completely ignoring ourselves and will eventually snap. Anxiety can be caused by constantly questioning if we are doing and saying the right things, which seems to be becoming the norm. I apologise for the long response and I am sorry if what I have wrote is confrontational.
My existence is not political. It is people like you who turn it into politics and make life impossible for me. You clearly aren't here to help, only to complain because I dared to mention that harmful prejudices are ruining my life. Get off of my post.
This group is for adults who are dealing with anxiety and depression. You are posting about conservatives and bigots, low self-esteem and other non-related issues. Maybe you should find a support group for your type of issues and stop trolling here. I'm sure there are many online gay community groups where you can get advice and find common ground on your feelings about conservatives.
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I hate myself, I hate the world
WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I hate myself for feeling jealous 
U can't hate me more than I hate myself 
Hate myself right now
