Hello š Background: infertility due to low ovarian reserve and male factor. We tried for 4 years to have our beautiful baby boy. Due to health and financial constraints, it is unlikely we would we able to have another child though we would absolutely love to.
I am currently on maternity leave that will end when baby turns 6 months. I could take it up to a year but since it is an unpaid mat leave, we decided on 6 months.
Financial instability is the main reason for my early return.
I am having a very hard time dealing with the decision of returning to work. I am feeling extremely guilty for having to leave our baby in the nursery. My mom guilt is literally eating me.
Is there anyone who has experienced similar? Any ideas on how I could overcome it or get help?
Thank you.
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Tamaa
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Hi Tamaa, Iām currently going through this too. We had IVF ICSI in 2022 and last year had our beautiful baby girl. I was going to return to work when she was coming up to 8 mths but couldnāt bear it. I couldnāt put it off any longer tho, and Iām returning next month. Sheāll be 11 mths then. Itās been really hard financially, but we made it work as we didnāt want such a young baby to go to nursery. Personal choice. Itās so hard tho, as they are our much longed for precious babyās, and theyāve consumed so much of our time for so long (wouldnāt have it any other way of course). So to leave them, just feels so so wrong and leaves you with the worst feeling doesnāt it. It doesnāt feel right that someone else will be consoling our child when they cry, feeding them, seeing them hitting milestonesā¦
Our little lady is going to a childminder, which for us is much better as there are far less children and means more time spent with her (sheāll be the youngest baby with her care worker). Of course, my mind has been thinking about the moment sheāll have to go there on and off for the past few months and there have been many many tears š„¹š„¹. But what has given me comfort is that work have agreed to let me have Mondays off and WFH on Fridays. Additionally we visited the childminders yesterday and they surprised us by asking us if we wanted to leave our little one there for a few hours. I had a mini meltdown, but half an hour later, I was looking at a picture the childminders had sent showing how happy our little lady was. They sent a few pics over the 3 hours she was there. And honestly it really really helped. Hopefully, your nursery will be able to do something similar.
Please just know that youāre not alone, and weāre all feeling the exact same way as you. Itās probably one of the most difficult things weāll have to face, but itās so important for them to socialise and development (and for us to work!). We will get through it šŖš» x x
Thank you so much for the detailed response and sharing your experience. My thoughts exactly -these precious children took so long to be in our lives and giving them in another's care just seems unfair. Sighs.. We did visit the nursery we intend to put our baby in, it's within my work premises so that is a huge positive for me.
And yes, they did mention an app where they ll upload baby's activities and sleep, feed etc.
Hi! This is a really hard one. I am struggling with the idea of going back to work too and have a 8-month old. Like you, there are financial considerations stopping me from taking the maximum leave allowed. I met with my manager to discuss my options and I learned that I have a right to a staggered return to work, as well as to flexible working arrangements. I have opted to do a compressed 4-day working week so I can have the 5th one to spend with my baby. This makes me feel much better, somehow, the thought of spending 3 days a week with her. I hope this helps!
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