How do I prevent my boyfriend from TBI Perseveration?

[169coronas]

One of the hardest things to handle is when my man starts repeating over and over that I need to stop yelling at him and telling me over and over that I'm yelling . The thing is, I'm not yelling at all. It leads us down a dark path and I struggle with it.

[Pairofboots]

Hi Teresa, got to admit I had to look up 'perseveration'. The definition I found was "involves lengthy sequences of integrated functions, including sustained attention, information processing, and purposeful, planned activity to achieve a goal...". I'm sure you have looked into this, probably in great detail. I am not trying to teach you something you already know. It is just useful for me to refer back to.

Another thing you already know, is the damage he has sustained. Following this there is a process of resetting how the brain processes internal thoughts and processes, and bit like rebooting a computer that has frozen. The computer can do this in a few minutes. The brain is far more complex, so takes longer. Some of the repeatitive speach can probably be explained by this.

The impression that you are shouting could be due to an increased sensitivity to sound, and too much stimuli to process, which often occurs following brain injury. Also long streams of information, may become stressful, as he may not be able to focus on the full content.

Keeping his eyes closed could also be a way of reducing sensory overload.

He may have difficulty making sense of what he is experiencing, it may feel very abstract, scary, and increase anxiety.

You, yourself are possibly up in the air trying to make sense of the events from the crash to present, with all the worry, and stress of the situation you find yourself in.

This is a long path to travel to optimal recovery for both of you. I can't lie it will be long, tiring, with many highs and lows.

This is a safe place to ask anything, to rant, participate or just absorb from others. We have all been on one side of the coin or the tother. Someone will always be there for you, and as your partner recovers for him.

Please contact Headway via their helpline or email. Details are pinned to this page. They can help you along the way, explain why, what, where, step by step, they can help you process the overload of knowledge, and terms you have had to grasp in such a short time.

This is meant to be a happy time of the year, which compounds the stress and emotional strain. Not your first thought but try to take some time for yourself, try to take some time with friends or family that you would have done. You don't need to be the life and soul of the party, and you definitely aren't an information service. Give yourself permission to decompress and relax. You are in many ways as much, experiencing the consequences of the crash.

You are always welcome here. I wish you, and your partner, friends and family best wishes 🍀

[sca2013 in reply to Pairofboots]

Excellent information and advice.