That was tough

[Dogsabighelp]

Got a bliser,had to walk,no problem.I'm. Not getting it.was very bad.he looked nice,he cried,I did too ,could care less he held my hand even put to his face I'm so upset ?I hate to leave?he is my boy.ims upset...

[Nanapal]

Good morning D, it will have been a very emotional, tiring and difficult day for you both. I hope on reflection today after having time to process things you feel in a better place. Having now seen your son, the placement & staff for yourself maybe you can release some of the turmoil that has built up inside you.

What we decided early on was not to dwell on the past and how life was for our son ( what is the point ) but try to focus on where he is now. Find out as much as you can about your sons rehabilitation programme and make sure they keep you fully informed at every step. It may be a long, difficult journey but ‘onwards and upwards’ is our approach - not going to lie D I still have down days when tears will flow but this is normal - a mother never wants to see their child (even when a grown man) suffer in any way. Thinking of you. Nanapal. x

[Dogsabighelp in reply to Nanapal]

Thanks nan.I've not stopped crying since last night.the worst was having to leave him..

[Nanapal in reply to Dogsabighelp]

I know exactly how you feel. The first visit we had with our son once he was out of ICU was actually his 38th birthday. I somehow managed to hold it together whilst in his room (side ward) but fell to pieces as soon as stepped outside and matron asked how I was doing. Let them tears out as you will feel much better releasing them. Please take comfort in that you have got that first visit over with and will be much better prepared emotionally for the next one. Take care Nanapal. x

[Dogsabighelp in reply to Nanapal]

Thanks nan you totally get it.my boy will be 37 on 6th may..

[Skallagrigg]

Oh bless you, big hugs, it's so emotional,it really is

[Pairofboots]

Hi, hopefully tears of relief and joy. Another step forward. Having to leave is always difficult, but I am sure it gave your son a boost, and with hindsight, now you feel better having seen him. There will be more visits, and each will help both of you. Really glad for you, even if you found it difficult. There is light at the end of the long tunnel you have been in. X

[Dogsabighelp in reply to Pairofboots]

Ian you are so kind,and have been with me throughout. I've not stopped crying,I know you get the weird/ strange signs that have happened,for today though I'm mostly a mess..

[Pairofboots in reply to Dogsabighelp]

Hi, you call it mostly a mess, I'd say it is releasing months of stress. Crying isn't a bad thing, it is an expression of emotion, better to let it out, than to hold on to it. X

[Dogsabighelp in reply to Pairofboots]

I guess👍

[Pairofboots in reply to Dogsabighelp]

Hi, how are you today? X

[Dogsabighelp in reply to Pairofboots]

Hiya,still a bit weepy I'm afraid,its just so sad.he is safe,its a lovely place but I just hate that he is alone a lot of the time.hopefully they will have a plan for him and we can start to see some improvements.think I will try to make Friday my visiting day xx

[Pairofboots in reply to Dogsabighelp]

Sounds like a plan. And I'm sure the the placement will keep your lad up to all sorts of activities.

As for being a bit weepy, you have a lot of emotion vested in your son, as any mother would. X

[cat3]

You reignited that special mother & son bond after so long without contact ....I would've been in bits D. A couple of minutes after my son collected me on discharge from hospital he needed to stop the car as we were crying so much .

Mums & sons ; such a strong emotional tie. So pleased you made it m'love and hope visits get easier with time. xx

[Dogsabighelp in reply to cat3]

Again thankyou,cat another that has taken time to support me.this is the most surreal and cruel thing a parent can endure.I kissed him( a lot), it was horrible and wonderful and hopeful. I've not been able to stop crying since I got home at 7 pm last night.it was tough,but not without hope

[cat3 in reply to Dogsabighelp]

You'll be pretty close to PTSD right now. The stress of past months topped by the overwhelming emotions of yesterday must have pushed your nerves to their limit ! Cry away and let go of all the tension.

Look after yourself D .....see you later.. x

[New_beginning]

I really hope regular video calls can be put in asap now hooefully for Friday visits. May be consider the offer with journey. It may not help emotionally but will physically. You need to keep healthy and safe xx

[thedragon]

Sending you masses of love x x x

[Painting-girl]

Virtual hug from me D. Love and respect to you and all the other mums and spouses on here for the way you are having to cope with all the extra problems of lockdown, when your lives have already been turned upside-down x