Does any one else avoid social situations

Hi

just been persuaded (coerced) to go round to a family friend (wifes ) to sort out computer really did not want to go as I feared saying doing something silly

I know this was unfounded as I concentrate 110% to prevent cognitive problems

[BaronC]

I used to avoid ANY social situation that involved my ex wife's family. Mind you, they were a shower of idiots

[Hidden]

ALL THE TIME. I DON'T GO ANYWHERE EXCEPT THE VILLAGE ( 5 MINSWALK AWAY) UNLESS ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO, LIKE THE NEURO

I PANIC FOR DAYS KNOWING I HAVE TO GO OUT EVEN THOUGH MY PARTNER TAKES ME TO THE NEURO. TOWN IS ONLY 10 MINS AWAY ON THE BUS - I CAN'T DRIVE ANYMORE, BUT THE THOUGHT OF GOING THERE FILLS ME WITH DREAD. MY PARTNER SAYS GET TAXIS BUT IT'S OVER £7 TO TOWN & I BEGRUDGE PAYING THAT FOR 3 MILES. I HATE BEING IN TAXIS ANYWAY.

I FEEL SO VULNERABLE IF I'M OUT - I CAN'T SEE PEOPLE OR THINGS UNTIL I HIT THEM COS OF THE BLIND PARTS OF MY VISION & I DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO JUDGE ME IF I FALL ABOUT, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF BEING JUDGED SINCE THE BI BY PEOPLE WHO DON'T UNDERSTAND

I HAVE DECIDED TO GO WITH HOW I FEEL, IT'S NOT WORTH ME MAKING MYSELF ANYMORE POORLY BY THAN I ALREADY AM BY FORCING MYSELF TO DO THIS, I STRUGGLE ENOUGH AS IT IS. PEOPLE WHO SAY "DON'T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD" CAN GO AWAY OR SOME SUCH PHRASE I CAN'T TYPE HERE.

I REALLY DON'T FEEL LIKE I'M MISSING OUT ON ANYTHING, I'M VERY CONTENT INMY HOUSE.

[aqua4 in reply to Hidden]

HI ZEBLET, I AGREE, ITS NOT WORTH IT. I KEEP TRYING BUT ALWAYS THE SAME. ALL THESE PEOPLE GIVING ADVICE WANT TO TRY LIVING IN OUR WORLD, THEY HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE HAVE THEY. K

[Hidden in reply to aqua4]

NOT THE REMOTEST IDEA. THEY WON'T BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND BUT THEY MUST LISTEN TO & ACCEPT WHAT WE SAY. WOULD WE TRY & TELL THEM THEY MUST STAY IN??

[aqua4]

Hi Dillm2, I do, such hard work keeping up. K

[Danslatete]

I must admit I turned into a hermit for the greater part of 7/8 years, I go out to work and to cubs now. I hate going to town, I hate shops, I hate big parties like leaving doos because its too loud, too many people talking and not being able to understand anyone.

I do like camps with cubs though, open space, routine all weekend and I get to go and sleep in a building all night because they understand I need sleep.

I got quite annoyed with support workers insisting it would be good for me to be getting out

[Hidden in reply to Danslatete]

What does anyone know how we feel, I saw a counsellor who was worse than a chocolate teapot, luckily I am now seeing someone who seems to understand brain injury

[SAMBS in reply to Hidden]

dillm - you just reminded me - I have some chocolate in my fridge!

I am so pleased you have found someone who understands effects of BI. I thought my new Doctor here did - and suddenly now find myself totally under scrutiny by all the different specialists you can think of because of my blood disorder (MDS) - from which I don't have any physical problems to the best of my knowledge, despite multiple mri's and blood tests - but the confusion/memory/balance and wobblyness seem to have been put on the back-burner.

Having referred to D-Day celebrations in a previous reply - I feel like I'm having my own battle here with no support over the practical/emotional problems I find I have again.

Some of us cope better than others with our B I's - but I'm in a foreign country facing my 67th b'day in a couple of months, trying to cope and get relevant help in my non-native language.

[iforget]

I tend to avoid social events....the potential for sensory overload and subsequent meltdown is just too great. I also feel at my loneliest in a room full of people.

I do realise that I tend to isolate myself. It is possible, apart from when I have medical appointments, for me to only leave the house once a week to go for essential supplies - which is a regular trip planned for a time when the store is fairly quiet.

Sometimes I am persuaded to go to/take part in an activity and even when it is something I am interested in I can feel physically ill as the time approaches, to the point where I may be forced to cancel...but if I force myself to go it appears that I do sometimes enjoy it...although I find it totally exhausting and will sleep for days after.

I never intended to isolate myself and when I realise this has happened I try to push my limits and get out and do something....

Clearly I have not been out much lately because we were in the store this week and bumped into a woman who lives in our street - she admitted she thought my husband and I were separated because she hadn't seen me in such a long time...YIKES!

[thrillseeker]

I avoid them after not been able to explain or know what to say to other people don't understand why though but in my own company or in my home I am fine

[bexx87]

During my teen years when I first had my tbi I was severally anti-social because I didn't know anywhere in the neighbourhood that I lived in and was bullied at school.

As Ive gotten older, I now WANT to socialise, I go to work doo's and I attend a once a month social group with other people who have had head injuries (but I feel like Im a odd ball as everyone in the group has had their injury in the last 2 - 5 years where as I had mine 13 years ago), I tried to socialise with my friends but they never respond back which makes me shrink back into my hermit self, I go to town but that's just to poke about the shops but I don't do clubbing I've always hated it.

I feel as if I cant make friends in real life and even online I find it hard as I feel like I pestering them.

[cat3 in reply to bexx87]

Don't ever feel you're 'pestering' people here bexx. I was thinking yesterday how nice it is to see you posting more again. You're of great value here with your wise words and support for others. And we ARE your friends, so never be afraid to off-load with personal issues and/or questions. xx

[Hidden]

Today is typical as to why I do not socialise headache cannot tolerate anything lose the plot at the drop of a pin

BUT decided to something about it phoned doctors got an appointment this afternoon

[bexx87 in reply to Hidden]

That sounds positive

[cat3]

I think I understand dillm. I go to the supermarket when I have to, and I visit my sister-in-law each week since my brother died. But otherwise, apart from walking into town alone each day for a paper, I stick to my own home. And I really don't miss social occasions one bit. I'm not lonely and I always find plenty to do (mostly in the garden).

I have my nephew's wedding coming up next month and, although I love my nephew and all my late brother's family, I cannot help dreading the overwhelming and demanding 10 or more hours of constant social interaction. And it absolutely guarantees a thumping headache and a comatose state for the following couple of days. (I'm sure this is caused by what you said dillm ................the enormous concentration required to survive social contact without having a melt down !)

Good luck with your doctor.

Love & hugs to you and the pooches. xx

[Hidden in reply to cat3]

Just an update Gp found lump on my temple it is to be investigated

ps noticed on computer at GP my notes have now got a advisory of TBI

[cat3 in reply to Hidden]

Did the doc. say what sort of investigation dillm ?

[Hidden in reply to cat3]

Not really given steroid cream and antibiotics gp is specialists in skin problems got to go back next week to see if there is any improvement told to get advice if i think its getting worse or is causing problems

[sean1966]

Hi, I find it hard to be with people for a long time apart from my daughters, horrible to have (

[SAMBS]

Hey Dillm - you are who you are! so please don't fret - BI doesn't help I know!

I was always offering my husband's services to help people out where I knew he could. That's wives for you though!

It did his ego good I think knowing he'd sorted a problem, after the event!!! So I'm the sociable one with the B I - he's the unsociable one without!

Me - I still love being in sociable company when possible - be it children, adults, and all conducted in french which is almost impossible - - lets me forget my own current situation though -yes I suffer for for it for 2 or 3 days afterwards'

My new french neighbours//acquaintances know (cos I told them ) - j'ai probleme du tete - apres hemorrhagic.

I only eventually told them because when I walk up the road to the local shops I look as though I am drunk because I am so wobbly when I walk - also 1 neighbour called to give me some eggs and I'd forgotten who she was! My motto in life for so long was - what you see is what you get - that still applies as far as I am concerned! The locals I am getting to know are very kind and gentle with me - one neighbour gave me some eggs from their hens, another lettuce from his garden, and the local butcher and his wife (he likes to practice his english with me) are fantastic and I buy fresh meat as and when in my tiny size portions. Bought some faboulous home-made pate and home-cooked 'jambon' (ham) today.

Just fact - nothing else - so as I say you are who you are, its your choice if you help someone out or not - but I'b bet my bottom dollar you yourself will feel better for helping someone else by doing what you do well - that they can't!.

Sorry - shirley's back and made a quick support comment into a book instead.....-while watching all the D-Day news - I live only 2 hours drive from Arromanches - and would love to have been there today to see all the events happening. By God the bravery of all those involved 70 years ago - makes me proud and glad to be alive....no matter my life now.

I Hope you are OK - but remember - you are who you are - be it sociable/unsociable - despite a BI

Take care - Shirley xxxxxxx

[aqua4]

Hi Sambs, glad to see u back, miised yr posts and good advice. K

[RogerCMerriman]

I do get overloaded etc so I try to eek out what energy I do have, late night in a noisy pub I'd find horrific, I even find tv when I'm tired overloads.

So I attempt to socialise on my terms, my wife is generally good a spotting when I've run out of go, apparently I get a glassy look in my eyes etc, in other words even now I do rely on my wife quite a lot.

[hayabusa]

Yeah i generally avoid people.

It's not a crime or something to feel bad about, I just prefer my.close family and friends company infrequently.

I love nature!!!!!! We are lucky to have some fantastic country parks around here. The peace and solitude out in the natural world is most beneficial to my state of mind.