Am I doing the right thing sending my son to main ... - Headway
Am I doing the right thing sending my son to main stream secondary school with a brain injury, really worried about this, and how he,ll cope
I think you should ask him. There are two issues which could hold him back. The first is his memory. Will he be able to digest everything he learns? And secondly, how does he feel with so many people around him? Speaking from a personal perspective, I tried to go back work after my TBI, I felt lost and confused with the hubbub in the office and I couldn't remember anything I was told. Good luck.
I echo Phil's reply, it's all those other sounds that eventually take over for me and mean I can't function cos I can't block them out.
He's a young lad though so it may be different for him, can the school support him at the pace he needs to go? Lots of questions to ask, I know you want him to be fitting in where he can, but sometimes a special school option may be better, I have a granddaughter who is now 16 normal school didn't work for her, she was disruptive and bored cos they didn't understand her needs, she is now learning life skills at college so that hopefully she can be independent, who knows? Time will tell, but she is happy, that's what counts.
Difficult decisions, do what's best for him for the future
You could ask for a chat with the special needs people to explain what he's like and how things like lots of people talking confuse him, or he may not remember faces etc. Are they willing/enthusiastic to get to know his problems? Is there a TA who has got hands on experience with someone with brain injury (it's amazing how many have)? Like employers schools vary in how they treat a person with brain damage. Ask them, both sides want a successful experience.
If you can provide him with one on one teaching, that would be the best route to go. At least and until he's a little older.
I can relate to this
I think that schools should be better equipped to support your son than they were 50 years ago
I agree with earlier comments. I would find it important to ensure the School has the support in place
Your son (I hope ) will benefit from being in a main stream enviroment
Best of luck
We are going to try main stream school, but I don't think they are being very approachable, and helping us much. It is impossible to provide one to one support without a statement, and we have to go tribunal to try again. Jack will need one to one support with lesson planning and moving from class to class between lessons, which he has never had to do before. It is all a big worry, and sometimes think a special needs school would be better equipped for Jack. But we here to prove people wrong again xx
When I finally got to grade 9 ( first year of high school) {after missing 4yrs 2nd to a severe BI at the end of grade 7 (middle school)} my parents talked to the secondary school principal & she had a mtg ( about 5 months b4 the start of the next school year - so they could plan & put in place what might b required) with the guidance/resource staff & all of us ( my parents & me) to discuss what would be needed etc.
My Sked end up with me on a reduced course load, with spare periods in the resource room for extra assistance &/or just resting periods, also when the maths class was too much for me to take in, they switched me to an "independent learning correspondence " style course so I could work at my on speed/level & complete the lessons @ resource time for one on one support as needed.
It took me a total of 7years to complete High School & graduate, that principal had moved onto another school, but was able to come back to attend my graduation. That felt really good!
Hope this info will help!
In my town a primary and an upper school have had modifications to be the area school for disabilities. They take a wide range of abilities, and have lots of children who have complex medical conditions. The children are encouraged to think of helping each other. Have you got a school like this in your area? It might be better to travel a little further a field to get the right school.
We are going to try a main stream secondary school, as thats where i think Jack needs to be, or where i want him to be perhaps, fortunately he has retained the information he had pre accident, and was very bright, Getting support is what Im working towards now, and waiting to go to tribunal to see what school has to provide and what i need to provide for the best outcome at school for Jack. Love this kid to bits, and will always do whats best for Jack and Sophie xx
Everything you've done has been in Jack and Sophie's best interests so just trust in your own instincts and go for what feels right. It's definitely worth a try if Jack is bright and has satisfactory recall, & who knows whether a special school might even hold him back.
If, for any reason, it didn't work out I'm sure an eventual transfer could be arranged.
What are Jack's feelings on the matter ? xx
Thanks for your comments, Jack wants to go with his friends. He just wants to be like them, he was thrilled to be chosen for the school chess team, and also back doing some football training, and back in goal where he belongs, with head protection of course. I'm such a proud mam xx
Yes I would be overflowing with pride if he were mine and, from what you've described, Jack will be absolutely fine at main-school.
You're a brilliant, caring mum Julie and deserve great credit for the way you've handled this whole tragic business.
I wish all of you the very best. Cat xx
Yes make life normal!!! Don't make the injury the focus and he will try harder, talking from experience, I went back to school after my injury and it was made a big deal, my teachers pussy footed round me and I got depressed and eventually left, I should have been encouraged, remind him life's not over! Try fail try fail but try again, because I only regret not trying again! Have a meeting with the school and with the pe teacher, my pe teacher made me feel like a idiot because I wasn't allowed to play rounders. I cried all night. They must understand the danger. It's so hard and I don't blame my parents for wrapping me up but he needs to try. Good for you! Good post!! X
Thanks for your reply. I'm doing everything possible, to make the transition as smooth as possible. The teachers are having brain injury training. Jack is starting to take part in more sport now, but certainly wouldn't be able to keep up with his peers, he is playing in goal next week in a school tornament, be the first time he has taken part in a match since the accident. Jack always tries his best and just wants to join in with his friends, he is so likeable and gets on with everybody, which is always a head start.
Well day one transition day tomorrow at secondary School for Jack, he as done his SATs this week, and seems to take everything in his stride. Proud of you Jack xx
Great start Julie, now onwards & upwards. 
x
Jack had a successful day at Secondary School today, panic over. I have appointments next week to go to a tribunal to try and get Jack and Sophie statements, another fight. Good news today is that Durham County have stepped down and are issuing Sophie a statement, we just need to see what it states before getting to excited. At last someone is realizing and listening to what problems this little girl as because of this accident. They havnt issued a statement for Jack, so looks like another stressful day coming up, but got to keep fighting for what these 2 special children deserve xxx
It's so good to hear that Jack's first day was a success story. Inch by inch Julie you're getting your precious kids back some quality of life but what an ordeal it's been and continues to be.
You've been so much more than a mum; you've been their champion and I don't underestimate the challenges ahead, but have no doubt you'll be there for Jack and Sophie come what may.
I know you'd say it's what comes naturally to you, but you still have my great respect and admiration for your fighting spirit.
Fingers crossed for the next phase.
Best wishes xx
Great News about Sophie now she can get the help she needs , and Jack will always do his ever best for his Mam .( So proud of him )
A very big step for a Big lad . Sending you all the very best wishes . . .
Tribunal today i found very stressful. Not sure these people understand the affects of Brain Injury. Just because Jack has made progress this last year, they expect that to continue, which without support he is really going to struggle at Secondary School. and is a massive worry. I just want to shout and tell them how it really is for this kid. I have to wait 10 days now for a decision on the statement, then even if issued, its up to the local authority what goes in it. They are wasting more valuable time, but to them Jack is just another person. Feeling very annoyed .
Durham County have been ordered to issue Jack a Statement, a bit of good news at last.
Fantastic! I have a number of those!
Great news Julie.
That is good news I hope it is going to see him through the whole of his senior phase. It is a real stress to get them for a year or two and then repeat the processs again.
It has taken a year to get to this stage, a waste of a year in my eyes, for Jack and Sophie. But they have both been given a statement now, just have to wait and see what they include. Thanks everyone for your support xxx
Not what you're looking for?
Moderation team
