Lady Julia

[ladyjulia]

Hi there I was diagnosed with osteoarthritis and fibromyalgia 7years ago. I live alone with no support. Am finding it hard to cope at the moment with the relentless pain and ability to move around. Have tried everything.nothing has worked. It's only my cats that keep me going I just can't bear to let them go it would destroy me.i have no family only distant friends. Sorry for the moan but I feel so abandoned. I find doctors not very helpful

[Elaine200756]

Hi there ladyjulia and welcome 😊. So sorry to hear you are suffering and struggling so much. It's very hard. Especially when you live alone. I'm wondering if it would be possible for you to have a chat with your local occupational therapy team? If maybe they can help to make your life a bit easier in anyway.I don't know what kinds of help they can offer but it's worth a chat. And it's possible they could offer you some mobility aids or support you in getting physio. I am grateful that I have my husband at home and he is very supportive when I am in pain or ill. I often think of fellow sufferers who live alone and how hard it must be.

Or those who have a husband, partner or family who don't understand and criticise and otherwise increase the burden. In that case I would rather live alone tbh. I'm glad you have your kitties for company and love, even though in some ways it must be difficult to care for them if you are having flare ups or bad pain days.

I also have fibromyalgia and osteoarthritis of the spine, a slipped disc and other illnesses. I have found that pain doesn't just affect you physically. It impacts you emotionally, mentally, socially, spiritually and financially as some people have a loss or a drop in income because they can't work as they used to.

You have come to a safe place to express how you feel. So you have nothing to apologise for. I understand from what you say that you don't have a doctor who understands or is a source of support. I'm sure other members on here will identify with that and you can chat with them if you choose.

There are many absolutely lovely people on here who will support you, as I will if and when I can. It really helps to talk to others who completely understand where you are coming from. Take care ladyjulia. Sending you lots of love and careful hugs xx

[ladyjulia in reply to Elaine200756]

Thank you for your lovely messageIt's a comfort to know that there's people out there that understand. I am managing to look after myself and my cats at the moment. I so miss the life I had before my my illness. Like trips out and holidays! I had someone from social services called. But as the bungalow is already adapted for the disabled they could not offer anymore help.i have spent spent a fortune on private treatment but nothing has worked. I don't want to move to anywhere I can't take my cats. So I Will battle on😱 thanks for caring

[Elaine200756 in reply to ladyjulia]

You're welcome ladyjulia. I'm so glad you found some comfort from my reply. I really feel for you. What a shame you couldn't get more help and support. Re private treatment. My doctor said that doctors don't know a lot about fibromyalgia and don't understand a lot about it. They don't know how to treat it effectively really. Many doctors are reluctant to prescribe effective pain relief, for instance, due to the risk of addiction and escalating doses. And so we suffer and try to find a way to help ourselves. We often post questions here and ask for tips on how to manage our symptoms and you can find it really supportive, accepting and helpful.

I try to have hot stone massages once a month on my neck, shoulders and back. It wonderful for easing my pain and helping me to relax, which is hard when you are in pain, as I'm sure you know. The problem is that it's not cheap but it's an investment in my physical health and well being. She uses the most wonderful essential oils so I get to enjoy them too.

I know that there are variations in how patients are affected by the illness. Some people have it for some time and then recover. Others don't recover. Some have remissions and flare ups. Some people are bedbound, or housebound, while others can manage to hold down a job.

I am retired thankfully and if I want to meet up with friends my husband will drive me there and then pick me up after. I have a limited social life and a very small circle of friends because of my limited levels energy and strength. A lot of the time I have to cancel on plans for coffee or lunch.

I was told that you grieve for the life you have lost. Some of us lose too much to this dreadful illness. But we all suffer losses. You will likely be grieving the loss of your life before fibromyalgia, with the enjoyable trips and holidays. I'm so sorry for what you are going through ladyjulia.

Thank goodness you are able to care for yourself and your cats. I agree with you, you couldn't leave and be without your fur babies. They are your family and part of your heart. As I said before, I'm so glad you have them. Stroking their fur and hearing them purr is comforting and my doctor says they are therapists in fur coats 😂

Big and careful hugs, Elaine xx 😘

[kittylove]

hi there,

I too live alone with my cats, though am 20 years younger and have fibro and diabetes. I know it can be so hard. I work full time ( luckily from home now ) and was awarded PIP a couple of months ago. It’s made such a difference, that I can now have a regular cleaner and some one to tidy the garden etc. I don’t know if you claim but it is worth it if you don’t just so you can get some support. It also afforded me the means to get an automatic cat litter box, which was a game changer!

I am lucky that I have excellent friends who check in with me regularly. Do you have friends that you can talk to when you’re struggling?

I am on meds for pain, I don’t know if you are but it can take to edge off and I suggest you ring round local GP surgeries and try and find one with a specialist interest in pain or arthritis. Also I use magnesium spray regularly which does help with pain. Acupuncture is also helpful.

These groups are full of people that understand and always reach out because you are not alone x I hope my reply helps in some small way x

[nzjrc]

Hi, I also live alone (66 with no cats) and live very remotely in the Scottish Highlands so sometimes only see another person once a week. I do have friends to call on for help with shopping etc and mostly manage with loneliness, as I am used to being on my own. I do find it helps when talking to people though, even for a bit, mainly by phone or messaging, as it takes my mind off the constant health issues that go around and around in my head. Have you tried contacting Age UK to see if they can offer any advice or help?

[Nipper11]

Well done for sharing such emotional feelings that's very brave of you. The help you need is your GP Ask him to put you forward to a pain clinic who talk to you about your situation and your mindset your pain levels .

they helped me to help myself. There will be others at the meeting who understand your pain and it helps to listen and share tips which will be useful .

One of the things that will ease pain is stretching exercises you can do these sitting down there loads on YouTube you could follow. Small movements will help ease the pain once you pushed through.

Use a tens machine to also help your pain levels .you can buy them from amazon. Trying warm baths should help. Massage warm oil into your muscles that will relax you .

I too have osteoarthritis in both knees and spine plus fibromyalgia plus other illnesses . I walk with two sticks and push myself to stay mobile .

Any illness can make you feel lonely and miserable and lose of Confidence I have lost mine many times before. believe in you because there are many things you could change .

Share with your GP you need to talk this out and take on any courses available and there are a few. Talking therapist website use to be healthy minds are outstanding you can put yourself forward for that as you can now self referral and complete there form on line and you will find them in your localcommunity.

Ask your GP to check your drugs and what might not be working anymore. To help my fitness I brought a low sitdown bike and have been building strength in your legs and your mindset to keep moving even when in pain take easy slow steps. Because the pain does ease off.

I listen to audio books and podcasts on things that take my mind away from pain.

Write yourself a list of things you want to change in your lifestyle.

Kick back at these horrible diseases with getting back in control. It has taken me almost 3 years to be in a good place. 👍 and with some tears and setbacks. I moved forward and backwards however i got in control of me again

I too don't have many friends but who cares when you can reach out and make friends . Socialising is hard but when you feel your -health is better you will take that step again.

This site give you a voice and help from many members who understand you. Be brave and look to get more support it's out there don't give in to these illnesses your still young enough to make big changes .

Everyday is a blessing take hold and smile because you can do this .Bless your lovely cats 🐈 who love you for who you are that's such a nice feeling ✨️ they need you .

Look at self-help and research the net on osteoarthritis and fibromyalgia there's loads of useful information.

Dietary requirements when dealing with osteoarthritis what can kick in a flare-up. You have a listening platform here of many who will help if they can. Make this year of simple steps for you to be you again. Big big hugs 🫂 take care and keep in touch 🤗 xx

[Cotswolds25121]

hi ladyjulia, I’m sorry to hear that you are not feeling good and not having an easy time. I too would suggest that maybe if you want to could contact age uk. I personally don’t know what they offer in the way of support but you could do with some from what you have written. Even a call from someone who the organisation may put you in touch with may help a little, I do understand from my own experience though that when feeling overwhelmed and down that it is hard to communicate at those times. I’m certainly someone that withdraws from wanting to talk with people when I am feeling stressed, anxious and depressed. I’m so glad you have your lovely 😻 cats for company, maybe msg on here for a bit and see if there is anyone else that is feeling like you are. I’m 63 and sadly still having to work and am struggling a lot and am in the early stages of applying for ill health retirement as I can’t go on much longer. I have slept until 4pm both Saturday and today through sheer exhaustion and now it is going to be Monday again soon and I dread it. I love the people I work with and support but I am at the point where I need to look after myself. Anyway, please msg again and let us know how you and your furry family are doing and I hope you find something that will help to make each day a little easier. Many 🤗🤗🤗🤗 xx

[Debsdelight72]

Bless you ladyjulia,

I'm sending you and your cats a massive gentle hug (((((((((((((🤗🐈)))))))))))

I rarely leave my bed (just to use the guzunder) Luckily I do have a fantastic and supportive Hubby, I also have a 19 year old cat,a 13 year old Yorkshire terrier and a 3 year old Yorkshire terrier, Like you I will stick around for them and Hubby (69 years old)

Hubby should be taking time out to rest himself as he is also ill, I often think, Why am I here? I am useless,

My only method of contact is through here really, I have a mobile phone in he kitchen drawer where it has lived quite happily for about 5 years, I have not spoke to anyone on the phone or mobile for a very long time, (Hubby to the rescue) I know it sounds strange but It is what it is, When I have appointments, Dentists,Doctor or Hospital,I think I'm lucky I'm in my power chair other wise I'd be in a corner crying on the floor through anxiety, I'll cross a road to avoid someone on the path,

I am only too happy not to see other humans and have my animals to talk to and cuddle🥰,They are always ready and willing for Mama's love, I also do NOT go to therapy any more, Thank goodness, My choice, Things start to reappear, That have been shoved so deep I'd actually forgot them,

Do you have a local carers centre or can join a club with others at a similar age?

Please don't be offended about the age thing. If you google what's in your area, ie Friendship group? Pen pals?or someone come round just for a decent brew and a natter until you might be be a tadge more mobile, A mobile hairdresser coming to you?

I hope you get to a better place of your pain management and have a day of cat cuddles

Take care ladyjulia

Debsx

🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱

[ladyjulia in reply to Debsdelight72]

Hi there thanks for your message and good wishes I have to take each day as it comes.over the last few months I have just got worse. The pain is relentless all over my body. I used to have visitors from age UK but they have stopped. Have tried every treatment possible both NHS and private, but nothing has worked.so I battle on. My friend tries to come once a week but she is unable to drive at the moment due to meniers disease. I would find it difficult to get into the carThe doctors don't know how to treat my many problems. It's hard when you have no family. I am sure it's only my cats that keep me going.😀

[Debsdelight72]

As long as they are around.....You are around, I hope you have a kitten every year 😊

It never ceases to amaze me on how this💩💩illness effects us all and I am sure that a lot of us may think about our lives and how we got to this point,

There is rarely a day goes by when I ask, What the chuff have I done to deserve this? I fall (a lot) I wriggle around to try to relieve a part of my body trying to take the pressure of my body is causing me pain,

I fell again last week,tripping myself which has caused all sorts of extra agony,On the good side (If there is one) I could see all the plants are poking through the ground in my garden,

For the first time ever I have managed to grow a wisteria and it's getting ready to bloom, These are the small things that make me smile and appreciate the smaller things that I long for, During the days of continued pain and depression I often ask my Hubby,

What have I done in a former life to deserve this?? And why can't I go into a nice,long and deep sleep and maybe just keep sleeping, But I can also see what I have around me and what would happen if I wasn't here,

We all know our own limits and how we can push them to the max, I just want what I used to have, It would also be nice to walk unaided and wash my own hair, And not have to take all the pills would be nice too,