Disappointed in myself today

[Cookie2217]

Well I did it again I overslept due to having insomnia and I was supposed to be at an in-person interview at 9:00 a.m. and woke up at 8:20 a.m. due to not going to bed until 5:00 a.m. I was hoping that this interview would lead to an at home opportunity to work remotely from home I did call and cancel and let them know that I had an emergency cuz I didn't want to tell them that I simply overslept and asked if I could reschedule in about 2 weeks to allow me to take some time off of my current part-time job in order to go to my second interview spot. Who knows maybe this is God's way of telling me that that job wasn't right for me but I'm disappointed because I set my alarm Even put my interview close out ahead of time In order to be completely ready for this morning and look what happened. I'm usually a lot more responsible than this so I'm disappointed and mad at myself for not getting a good night's rest beforehand.

[Lilypad03]

I have found myself there also before. Don't beat yourself up and give yourself some grace. Like you said this could be a blessing in disguise. I hope today is a much better day. 🫂

[Cookie2217 in reply to Lilypad03]

Thank you!

[Vilanel]

Cookie, have you thought about trying ECT, Electric Shock therapy. They put you to sleep during ECT and it has been extremely helpful for resistant depression. It’s very common and much more controlled than years past. Another option, Ketamine, where a psychiatrist administers a controlled dose and watches while doing it. There are probably other such treatments for resistant depression, google and see what you can find.

[Cookie2217 in reply to Vilanel]

I've thought about ECT and Ketamine therapy too. Both scare me a bit. I think ECT is a bit invasive my aunt went through electo shock therapy and it made her a zombie. Ketamine is actually a street drug named Special K and I believe it's a horse tranquilizer too so I'm not too keen on that one either. I have told my doctor I want to switch to Prozac and I'm beginning on it tomorrow so hopefully because it's one of the oldest medications for depression it will help me and I will have no side effects from it. My doctor is going to start me on 20 mg for the first 2 weeks and see how I feel and then he can up it to 40 mg he said if needed both with an Abilify booster of 10 mg. I'm hoping that all of this works out for me as I'm tired of being depressed but I have been great for about a week and a half no sleeping except for going to bed at night and making it to work each and every day too. I'm laughing a lot with my husband and spending a lot of time with him which is nice. Thank you for all of your advice I appreciate you caring. Wishing you peace and well-being.

[Sunsetlover19]

Hi Cookie,

I just joined today. I understand how you feel and I’m wondering how you’ve been doing? 🤍

[Cookie2217 in reply to Sunsetlover19]

Hi Sunsetlover 19! Welcome to the community!! You will find a lot of caring people on this site who offer you good advice on what works for them when they are depressed. What works for me is journaling my feelings and getting them down on paper to get things off my chest so to speak. I also listen to sleep meditations because I sometimes have trouble sleeping. I also practice the 5, 6, 7 breathing method which is breathing in for 5 seconds then holding it for 6 seconds and then breathing out for 7 seconds very slowly to calm me when I am stressed out. I suffer from major depressive disorder, PTSD and adjustment disorder and was in a depressive episode for four long years. I just switched medications from Pristiq to Prozac and I am doing great!! Thank you so much for asking too. 🙂 I have no side effects whatsoever and I am free of depression totally. I've been on it for three weeks and feel alive and well for the first time in so long. I am a three time suicide survivor and tried to kill myself three times between the ages of 18 to 21. I haven't been suicidal since then and I am 54 now. I suffered from childhood trauma at the hands of my parents because my mother who was an alcoholic who verbally, emotionally and psychologically abused me when I was a teenager. My father physically abused me when I was younger then that and he also didn't protect me from my mother's wrath towards me nightly and instead went to bed and let me deal with it all on my own. From those experiences, I suffer from seld-esteem issues and self-loathing problems to this day. I am working on learning how to find a way to love myself for for the first time in my life. Well that's it in a nutshell. How are you doing? Do you suffer from any mental health disorders? Thank you for reaching out to me and following me too. I appreciate that a lot. If there is anything I can help you with or you have questions about anything reach out to me anytime and if I know I'll surely share with you. Ok. Wishing you peace and well-being.

[hypercat54 in reply to Sunsetlover19]

Hi Luna. Talking to yourself again? I would get help for that