Small loss of motivation: Hi everyone... - Weight Loss Support

Weight Loss Support

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Small loss of motivation

Ywxxx profile image

Hi everyone,

My goal weight is 12 stone, I am currently 17stone. I feel I have been working hard to lose weight as I have lost 1lb since Thursday. Though I’ve stood on the scales each morning and it keeps fluctuating. Yesterday it was 16st11lb today it’s 17st. This is making me feel like my goal weight is an imPossible one to meet.

I have two gorgeous little boys, one just started school and one that will turn 2 in December. I’ve decided to go on this journey because I don’t want to become ill due to my weight. I understand it’s an extremely important thing for me to do I just expected it to happen faster.

After having my first son I went from 10st to 12st which I was okay about, I was still healthy and happy. Slowly my weight went to 14st and I fell pregnant. With my second I had something called SPD which can cause severe pain through out pregnancy. For me I wasn’t able to walk from 16 weeks and my weight just went up and up. I’ve been ignoring it pretending that I’m okay. But im at a point where I don’t even want to buy new clothes because of the size I am.

I just hope I can get there. I hope I can power through like the people on here who seem to have steel motivation.

17 Replies
IndigoBlue61 profile image

Good morning Ywxxx

First of all, well done for sticking to plan for almost a week, the first few days are the most difficult

Secondly, try not to focus totally on scale weight, it’s not a very accurate measure of fat loss, trust me, if you are sticking to reduced calories you will be losing fat. Try to enjoy the process, eat foods you enjoy, have an exercise routine that’s fun, and make your weight loss journey sustainable.

Lastly, it is so important to look at the big picture. To lose fat and keep it off we have to work hard to change habits and make permanent changes to our eating behaviour. I notice from your other posts you are restricting calories quite severely which can be detrimental long term as it leaves ‘no-where to go’ as you lose wieght.

bikegrrrl profile image
bikegrrrlRestart Sept 2021

More strength to you Ywxxx , if it was easy we would all have been slim already! But if you change your habits it does get easier. Losing a pound or two a week is the most sustainable way.

As IndigoBlue61 hints, if you keep to the calorie range recommended in the BMI calculator you are more likely to keep losing weight gradually and sustainably.

Learn all you can about what works for other people, and what works for you. Often with me it's not about pure "hunger" as such, but other triggers that make me want to eat. I know I am in this for the long term, the amount of calories I can have is reasonable to keep me satisfied provided I make sensible choices.

Ywxxx profile image
Ywxxx4lbs in reply to bikegrrrl

It’s just hard to stick to eating the good foods instead of all things fattening 😂 I did a good diary of everything I ate before becoming healthy and my calories didn’t come to what the NHS website wants me to eat? In worried if I eat what it says I won’t lose anything since I was already in that range and only putting on.


BridgeGirl profile image
BridgeGirlAdministrator in reply to Ywxxx

Why do you think the NHS calculator gives you that range Ywxxx ?

People really aren't trying to mislead you :)

Ywxxx profile image
Ywxxx4lbs in reply to BridgeGirl

I have no idea but I think my body must just be acting strange 😂 unless I’ve just been eating enough to maintain my weight.

Concerned profile image
ConcernedAmbassador in reply to Ywxxx

Yes, you're probably insulin resistant from all the insulin stimulating foods you ate The quality of food is as important as the quantity. Wholemeal bread is turned to sugar in the body faster than sponge cake!

Ywxxx profile image
Ywxxx4lbs in reply to Concerned

So should I stick to those calories with healthy food or cut them ??

Concerned profile image
ConcernedAmbassador in reply to Ywxxx

Cutting calories is only part of the picture. You can only cut calories so much because the body will respond, thinking it's starving, slowing your metabolism in an attempt to conserve energy.

It's best to eat a balance. The further you stray from that balance, the harder it will be to lose weight in the longer term because the body will strive to redress the balance.

The RI for protein is about 45g per day for an average woman, 56g per day for a man. Protein deficiency is very rare in the developed world. That said, don't underestimate the value of having that small amount of complete protein in controlling appetite.

Carbohydrate shouldn't be avoided either. We use carbohydrate for fuelling the nervous system, including the brain, and other intense activities. However, this has been over-emphasised since the 1970s (agriculture has to sell crops). Most people's body uses between 480 kcal and 640 kcal in the form of carbohydrate per day. Less than this and the deficit is attempted to be made up from other nutrients. More than this and the excess is turned to fat.

Of importance here is that carbohydrates stimulate the need for insulin more than the other nutrients in general (although high levels of lean protein can also demand high levels of insulin). Not only does that make weight loss more difficult (insulin tells the body to store fat, not burn it), but high insulin/insulin-like growth factor (IGF-1) levels are harmful to health.

Carbohydrate is stored in the body as glycogen. It helps to think that the role of eating carbohydrate is only to prevent those stores becoming exhausted.

The much maligned natural fat is relatively inert. That doesn't mean we can eat limitless amounts, because the excess will still be stored, but eating a sensible amount will make controlling appetite easy. Body-fat is about 57% monounsaturated, 40% saturated, and only 3% EFAs; this is the ideal ratio from millions of years of evolution.

Increasing your intake of mostly natural fat for a week or so each month will prevent your body thinking it is starving. You will have to cut back further the lighter you get (imagine you were carrying around 50lbs less, 24 hours a day for example) but don't cut back too much too soon.

You might even wish to try intermittent fasting by having only one meal for one or two non-consecutive days each week.

As important is to enjoy what you eat. If you only occasionally allow yourself a treat, that implies the vast majority of what you eat would be a chore. No wonder 95% of people regain the weight and more, reverting back to a western diet.

Dare to have a good life with this. All the best!

IndigoBlue61 profile image
IndigoBlue61Maintainer in reply to Concerned

Excellent reply as usual 😊 thank you

bikegrrrl profile image
bikegrrrlRestart Sept 2021 in reply to Ywxxx

Can I make a suggestion? Double-check your BMI calculation (height and weight), and then stick with the healthy eating, the right number of cals and some exercise for 4 weeks. Then take a view on how it's gone.

Ywxxx profile image
Ywxxx4lbs in reply to bikegrrrl

Hi yes I’ve done it again, and I’m going to stick to the lower/middle end of the calories and see. I have started using my exercise bike as well and I work and have two young kids so this weight should just come flying off now.

Minniewinny profile image
Minniewinny5 stone in reply to Ywxxx

You'll enjoy it more if you aim for the higher range.. then you can decrease as you find what suits you going forwards....

Cheering you on 🎉🎉🎉

Hi Ywxxx and welcome! You will find this a great supportive environment to lose that weight.

Weight never comes of quick enough for ANYONE, but just keep on going... It took me 130 weeks (2.5 years) to lose 4.5 stone. That was on average less than half a pound a week. But of course, some weeks I lost more, some weeks I gained.... but - I just kept on going!

When I started my weight loss over 6 years ago, I had 4.5 stone to lose. I lost most of my weigh using a website: (which I still use to this day!) but I enjoy the support and posts on here alongside using the other site.

I have a disability that I was born with (shortening of all four limbs as a result of the drug Thalidomide my mum took when pregnant with me). As a result my mobility is minimal - and was further reduced following a serious head on car crash in 2002 when I broke my ankle. I went on to have my ankle joint fused and am still in constant pain with it.

I started my weight loss journey at 14 stone - 5 and a half years ago. I am just 4ft 8” tall and so was classed clinically obese.

I was 49 years old and had been trying to lose weight all of my life since the age of 9. My disability makes exercise difficult (I am very sedentary and use a wheelchair outside of the house).

The one thing that I realised very early on in my journey was that I was just eating FAR TOO MUCH! I was a short, middle aged, sedentary female and I was eating the same as 5ft 9" active man (my now husband!). No wonder I was piling on the weight!

I started my journey at the end of February 2012, and managed to lose 4.5 stone in 2 and a half years through calorie counting and logging/weighing all of my food. That works out at 130 weeks, so on average my weight loss was less than half a pound a week - of course some weeks I lost more, others I gained... but I am trying to impress upon you the importance of just keeping on going, even though the weight may not come off as quickly as you would like it to.

I cannot stress enough how important this part of the weight loss journey is - being able to recognise just how much we are eating and address that. It is not about cutting out any foods but about being able to make informed choices about the foods we eat Also about learning how to behave differently around food. Just because food is in front of us does not mean to say that we have to eat it! Being able to exercise control and moderate intake is paramount.

I re-gained some of the weight I lost, then lost it again and have now managed to more or less maintain for the past 6 months at around 10 stone. Still considered "over weight".

Ideally I would love to drop another stone to 9 stone and maintain there.

The other great news is that it is entirely possible to lose weight without moving! Of course though, there are lots of advantages to moving a bit more - but it doesn't have to be as formal as going to a gym or out for a five mile run. A good session of house work, mowing the lawn (when the weather permits!) or even a cooking session will all burn calories and have the advantage of making you feel much better emotionally too! It's good to find something that you LIKE doing, that is enjoyable and that you are likely to sustain on a regular basis.

My weight loss journey has been long, but I am still learning new tips and tricks to help me along the way and what's more, still enjoying the challenge! I would say that my behaviour around food has changed massively - I have learned to respect food, to "break" it's control over me, and to be able to modify how I behave with food. Just because food is within sight doesn't mean I have to eat it! I don't see eating the way I do as meaning that I am missing out any more - in fact I am now able to enjoy my life and have regained the ability to do things that I struggled to do or even found impossible to do!

Here are a few of my past posts which I hope you will find helpful and inspiring. I won't try and tell you that my journey was easy - and you'll see that there were many blips along the way, but 6 years down the line, I feel about 20 years younger than I did when I was lugging around 4 stone more.

Please do pop back to the forums and share your journey with us - we are here for you, day and night and happy to share your success or support you when you need it.

Ywxxx profile image
Ywxxx4lbs in reply to Pineapple27

Thank you so much for sharing your incredible story and well done for doing so well and sticking to it.

I find it so hard to stop eating bad foods even though I know I will feel rubbish after eating it. I was just so poorly when I was pregnant I ate and ate. Now I feel back pain all the time and my pelvis hurts. I honestly think it’s down to the weight.

Thank you for being so inspirational and helping me feel that even a small loss is still a loss and means I’m going in the right direction. I wish you well with your journey.

Pineapple27 profile image
Pineapple274 stone in reply to Ywxxx

Ywxxx - If you want this to work for the longer term, you need to think about it as a lifestyle change rather than a diet. That lifestyle change will need to happen a bit at a time and will involve many things : changing your behaviour around food, portion control, emotional eating triggers, increasing your activity levels, trying new foods, making healthy food swaps, etc.

Commitment to diet/lifestyle change and resistance to temptation doesn't just happen! It has to be worked at.

The only way I have succeeded this time is to change how I approach food and eating it. I have learned to resist temptation! BUT please believe that this has taken a LOT of hard work and practice. 

It's about "normalising" or "modifying" behaviour around food... and I think that with enough "practice" it becomes more and more easy until you get to the point where a behaviour is modified to the point of it becoming the only way.

I am sure that even some people who are not over weight do sometimes over indulge - but the fact is they don't do it very often...

Those of us who are over weight have been used to "treating" ourselves, eating portions that are too large, eating the things that we know are calorific because we can!

It's been a combination of changing all of those aspects of how I behave around food that has meant I have been successful this time.

I have developed a respect for the food I eat. Not everyone has the ability to eat as well as we in the western world eat. We should not abuse the privilege.

I rarely eat "on the hoof" any more, I rarely eat between meals. I take time to sit at a table and present my meals nicely. I take a moment or two to really look at my plate of food before I pick up my knife and fork.

Almost daily I say to hubbie "Aren't we lucky to be able to enjoy such lovely food". I really mean that too, I am not saying it for anyones benefit but his and mine. We should never take for granted having easy access to delicious food stuffs and our ability and love of cooking!

If you log your food - keep track of how many calories some of those "treats" contain, after a while they kind of stay in your head (medium egg = 70 cals, slice of white bread 100 cals, meringue nest 57 cals, 30g (matchbox size) of cheddar, 122 cals)

I do have sweet treats, but I buy my own choice, so things like 2 finger Kitkat, single finger Twix, Club biscuit... these are all around 100 calories. I keep them in a tin and I can have one whenever I want to, but I limit it to no more than one a day and usually with my afternoon cup of tea. That's not to say I eat one on a daily basis (usually about 2-3 times a week). They are always logged into my diary.

If you don't keep a log of what you are eating and the calories foods contain, then it's a bit like trying to travel from one place to another without a map! You might get there eventually BUT it's likely to take you much longer than if you planned the route and used a map PLUS you might take a few wrong turnings and end up going back on yourself!

I have also learned not to plan each trip out of the house to include food. Once upon a time, I'd have included lunch with a trip into town, coffee and cake with a visit to the garden centre.

I now plan or even prepare a meal BEFORE I go out (usually a salad) so that I know exactly what I can eat as soon as I walk into the door... and don't turn to "what I fancy" (usually high calorie carbs that don't keep you full for very long...)

Make a list of the reasons WHY you want to lose weight. Keep it somewhere safe (stuck to the inside of a kitchen cupboard door?) and look at it from time to time, especially when you are raiding the kitchen for treats!

I always ask myself before eating something really calorific "Do I really want to eat this thing more than I want to lose weight this week?". It's called "mindful eating" - being aware of why you are considering eating - real hunger? Boredom? Temptation? Feeling fed up?

Have a glass of water, wait 5 minutes and consider whether you still want the food. Once it's been snaffled down, it's too late and you may end up feeling cross and angry with yourself....

....and that feeling (guilt, failure) lasts for a long time, much longer than the temporary enjoyment of whatever treat you ate....

Oh, and I always remind myself how good the feeling is of seeing a loss on the scales at my weekly weigh in! That wonderful feeling lasts for days! Don't forget how that feels - you need to remind yourself of that feeling next time temptation strikes!

I am writing this as someone who had struggled all of my life (since the age of 9) to lose weight. I changed my whole approach to food and eating it that everything else clicked into place :-)

Everyone feels like you sometimes diet sometimes becomes less important than daily life take small steps every day you will still get to your goal Gail

Hey Ywxxx I'm in a very similar situation - I'm currently 16st 6lbs and want to get down to 12st 7lbs. The lowest adult weight I've ever been (since working in office jobs) is 15st 7lbs so it seems like a monumental task that I've got ahead of me! My husband and I have been trying for a baby for over 2 years, and had no luck so far and the only answer I get from the doctor is to lose weight before they will even send me for tests, so I really want to get on it now.

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