Feeling miserable! I worry it will get worse

[Fulltimemuso]

Hi folks,

Nice to be able to come on here and chat with others in a similar position. Really helps!

Brief history : I'm a singer age 51, with 3 years of T, wearing custom moulded plugs for care home gigs.

My T is thankfully not too bad, high in one ear, low droning in other. I can deal with the sound, accept it, and block it out.

My issue is when I hear the sound getting worse, it really depresses me. My left ear sound has got louder and it makes me feel I'm not doing enough to protect my ears. I'm really doing everything I can though to be able to perform, and still connect with my audience.

I start gigs on acoustic finger strummed guitar, and sing without a mic. Once things get a bit louder and I start using my backing tracks and microphone, I wear my ear plugs. I thought this was working quite well and the T was stable, but my low drone seems to be increasing and I don;t know why. Yes, if I just quit music all together and took up 'walking round fields' instead it would probably fix this. But I've always been a musician and I can't see this changing! Not sure how to feel. It IS definitely depressing though and sometimes I realised I haven't smiled for days on end.

I try to be positive, and I have to appear positive for my work, but something needs to change.

Any chat about this would be welcome XX

p.s. my next thing to try is I've bought some quite fancy ANC earbuds with adjustable transparency and hope to see if I can just reduce the sound of the outside world easily, whilst still avoiding the occlusion effect.

[cheapo]

Never give up your music. My bro has been a sessions drummer for a long time and has a little bit of T, but not hearing loss. I know the fine details in any piece are mega important to a performer, but even a deaf person could enjoy the vibrations experienced from an acoustic guitar. I'm kind of waffling here, but this is something I've thought about for many years. I find that my tinnitus takes a back seat when I'm playing with my RC toys, or just watching a movie, or even just driving the car. It's only when I focus on the T noises that they take over. Heh, I am hearing them badly right now as I'm typing about it.

[cheapo in reply to cheapo]

And I nearly forgot that I created an approximate copy of my tinnitus about 10 years ago, along with some background sounds that might help.

freesound.org/people/hear-n...

Wishing you well, Pete.

[Fulltimemuso in reply to cheapo]

Hi Pete, yes it's funny isn;t it how when we post on tinnitus forums you notice it more!

Interesting music channel thanks for that. The low droning type sound is quite similar to what I experience. Really sounds like a far away road, or and extractor fan in an other room.

Feeling a bit better today

All the best

[cheapo in reply to Fulltimemuso]

Glad to hear you're feeling a bit better. 👍

Yes T can sometimes seem to mimic real sounds. Which is possibly why playing a background sound can help some people. My T is apparently so loud that any background sound I might play is annoying to other people. Not really a surprise.

[Hidden]

music is a part of your soul, it’s part of who you are. I’ve been following your story over the months and seen how you’ve coped.

Part of life is to, at times, be unhappy. Life throws things at you. That’s how life is.

Think of the joy - and it IS joy - you are giving to your audience.

Tinnitus is variable, that's part of what it is. You think youve got a grip and then WHAM.

[Fulltimemuso in reply to Hidden]

Thankyou for this, and yes definitely agree about the unhappiness part of life. Learning to accept that is a big thing. I'm doing 'okay' on that aspect. I'm yet top get to the stage where I'm thankful for my T, although I'm sure it's possible!

Thanks for your support. The new 'drone' definitely seemed less today, and this has given me some fresh hope. I'm getting into my happy-space again where I can just do my job, but have half an eye on other 'ear-friendly' ways to perform. Hope you are well and all the best

[TinnitusUKPat Partner]

Just want to drop by to mention the monthly musician's support group, run by Tim Bricheno - eventbrite.com/e/musicians-...

[Fulltimemuso in reply to TinnitusUKPat]

Many thanks for this

[SueX]

I don't have any suggestions but just wanted to say I hope people here have some reflections. I'm new to the forum and have found it tremendously helpful.