Isolated...

[Lindsay6]

Hi folks. Hope you are all ok , despite the heat ( I joke I've got sizzling sausages in my ears - and I've been vegetarian since 14 ☺). It's been really hard time but having spoken to the very nice Sarah at Ear FoundationI I plucked up courage to go to the Nottingham Tinnitus Group. Unfortunately I left after 5 minutes - no hello , no introductions , board table style and launched straight into a posh presentation about Research. I am no way criticising the group if that is how it wants to run ( all are different ) but I'm now feeling even more isolated ( bit tearful ) and in an act of ' self care ' I'm being given selfish and just reaching out to know I'm not alone

[Ruud1boy]

Not sure how helpful we all are to each other, spread across the county / world and linked by computer only, but I share your suffering Lindsay. The T group I go to occasionally hasn't really got off the ground yet and seems a bit ramshackle in it's organisation, but I guess the people running it are doing it off their own back.

How are you doing work-wise lately? Was it you that had to take a step back from your previous NHS role?

Chin up girl...

[Lindsay6 in reply to Ruud1boy]

Thanks for kind words . I'm still not working - seem to be filling my time with caring for my elderly parents, one of whom has been in hospital recently with a health scare . I've done a very small amount of free lance work but struggleven to hear through the tinnitus a lot of the time. But I refuse to give up and been involved in doing a video for Nottingham Forest Supporters Trust - getting my 94 year old friend who's been going for 70 decades to be in it. She's become a social media star ! I've decided to go back to watch Forest because not going has made no difference and even if I hear my tinnitus over 25,000 fans at least I can feel a bit normal ! Hope you're ok

[Ruud1boy in reply to Lindsay6]

Glad to hear you're braving the footy again. We (Huddersfield) start again on Saturday and I've got to admit, I'm nervous about putting myself in the stadium environment again. Professionals have told me that it's not loud enough to damage my hearing, so I just have to trust they know what they're talking about.

I hope you don't mind me asking Lindsay, but how do you get by if you're not working? Tinnitus isn't considered serious enough AFAIK to qualify for any benefits etc? Obvs feel free to ignore this question if needs be - appreciate it's a bit personal, but I'm just curious. I had 3wks off work recently, the first time I've ever taken any time off sick due to my T / hearing difficulties, and it was a real eye-opener for me. Not having the stress of work left me much more able to ignore my T and I was fine! The meltdowns soon returned when I went back to work tho'...….

[Lindsay6 in reply to Ruud1boy]

Hi Ruud1boy. How's things . I think of you every time Joe Lolley plays well - which is most of the time 1 Class player - thanks . Alas I think you will struggle to stay up this season , and don;t think we will get promoted ( things not as great as our fans might think and when you have a Leeds player scoring with an arm movement Nadal would be proud of , then it's not our season . Who are your rivals - is it Leeds ? I have managed to go to a couple of games - the poor ones , but i have found an area of the ground that is slighlty less noisey - even when full capacity.

[HissingSid]

Do vegetarian sausages not sizzle? Mine do! I’ve not gone to any local support groups as there is only one in my area in a place out of city centre and meeting dates are few and far between. Your experience has put me off attending.

[afm2]

Hi Lindsay,

It's not selfish, it's self-preservation, don't worry about that!

I was offered "self help" group but haven't attended, I know for my personality/psyche it wouldn't be of any benefit. Would end up analysing the people there and come to my own conclusions as to their personalities and motivation .........

There are loads of people out there who have absolutely no idea of how tinnitus affects you, they almost have the attitude/perception it's a noise and you can just ignore it..

If only!!

Finding/noticing ways that give you some relief can help. It's the times when you suddenly think " I haven't noticed my noise for the past couple of hours" that are worth looking forward to.

[NicBTA Partner]

I'm sorry that the group experience was a bit disappointing for you Lindsay. I have to say that most of the groups I've visited up and down the country have always been very warm and friendly. The content of the group meetings does vary - and to be honest, I'm usually going along to make a presentation myself!

We are taking names for an online group meeting, so if that's of interest, email my colleague Colette on [e-mail].

Are you thinking of coming to the Tinnitus Expo in September?

Best wishes

Nic

[Lynne-H]

Hi Lindsay,

I wish you could come to our group (Stoke-on-Trent). We are a lovely friendly lot and some weeks we don`t even talk about tinnitus but we always know that we are there for each other.

We do on occasions have different people who come to talk to us and give advice and Dot`s always looking for new information to pass on.

I do hope you soon start to feel a little better and a bit less isolated - you know we are all here for you.

What might cheer you up is when your team play Stoke - the way they played on Sunday you have every chance of beating us.

Take care. Love Lynne xx

[Lindsay6 in reply to Lynne-H]

Hi Lynne. How are you ? I'm in increasing pain but I have got to see a few Forest matches ( don't think the two are linked ! Tight League. We won't get promoted - we don't have players who score with arms!

[Lynne-H in reply to Lindsay6]

Hi Lindsay,

Yes I`m ok thank you. I`m pleased to hear that you are managing to go to the football. As you say it`s all very tight at the moment. We haven`t been to an actual match for many years now but still want them to do well. I think we are playing Forest a week on Saturday. Stoke are a bit up and down at the moment.

We need, if we can to push ourselves, to carry on doing the things that we enjoy. I know you have your problems but I hope that you feel a little better in yourself.

You take care and look after yourself.

Love Lynne xx

[Lindsay6 in reply to Lynne-H]

Evening Lynne . I hope you are well. I often think of you - and the others on this caring and supportive forum - but even more so today ( hearing about James McClean ) ; and will do tomorrow when i am at the match. One of the guys from the Supporters Trust Board can't go so he has kindly let me use his season card . I think it will be a tight match. Even more nervous about the potential abuse that will be shouted at James - I am likely to shout at the forest fans and tell them what I think of them , alas it will be the occasion when football can be the location for some real idiots - we got the Miners strike last week v Sheffield Wednesday . I am not sure I should eb going , not quite recovered from last week and been in near tears with the pain today but I refuse to give in . I've been in touch with two local Breathworks Mindfulness Tutors this week - it's an organisation I think I trust. i'll ahve to see if I can find the funds for it if I decide it'll be good. Anyway , enough waffle from me ( for now!) Take care. Lindsay xx PS my new photo is of me ( wearing my 42 year old scarf) and my 93 year old friend Dorothy who has been watching Forest since the 1930's . The Supporters Trust wanted to do a series of videos and I suggested her - they all fell in love with her too

[Lynne-H]

Hi Lindsay,

Great photo and Well Done Dorothy - now that`s what I call stickability - she`s the kind of supporter every club needs. And Well Done you too. Yes good result for us today away from home.

I don`t know all the ins and outs about James McClean - just heard it mentioned on Radio Stoke a few times. But this is the trouble with anything controversial - the fans have a field day. I know we`ve experienced it ourselves when we used to go to the Stoke matches. It`s the dark side of football I suppose.

I`m sorry to hear that you are suffering so much pain. I believe mindfulness can help - I think it would be worth giving it a try if you can. I myself have some neck and shoulder pain but not to the extent that you are suffering. I have today bought some Turmeric Capsules so I`m going to give those a try.

Lovely to hear from you - hope your pain eases a little. You take care and look after yourself.

Love Lynne xx