I asked the Librarian: "Do you have Great Expectations?"
She said: "I did but ended up working in a library"..
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.What did Cinderella say when her photos didn't arrive?
Someday my prints will come..
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4 Husbands
The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director," she answered.
"Interesting," the newsman thought.
He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, and a preacher when in her 60's, and now - in her 80's - a funeral director.
The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.
She smiled and explained,
"I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."
Asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia.
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The librarian whispered "they're right behind you".
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Got a job as a bell ringer, didn't do much on the first day, they just showed me the ropes.
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.Sue is the most loving wife, last night I woke up and she was holding a pillow tightly over my face to protect me from Covid-19.
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The wife asked me if I'd seen the dog bowl.
I said: " to be honest, I didn't even know he played cricket! ".
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.Ok a Christmas one 😊.
HOW TO TURK A COOKEY: First, buy the turkey and a bottle of whiskey. Pour yourself a glass of whiskey and put the turkey in the oven. ... Take another 2 drinks of whiskey, and set the degree at 375 ovens. Have 3 more whiskeys of drink and turn the oven on. Take 4 whisks of drinky and turk the bastey. Park Stick a turkey in the thermometer, and glass yourself a pour of whiskey. Bake the whiskey for 4 hours, take the oven out of the turkey, and floor the turkey up off the pick. Pour yourself another glass of turkey. Now just tet the sable, and turk the carvey! yur vari walcum!! :-)) hic
Have a good one 💕
Little Joke. (With emphasis on the little)