Nearly Christmas, For Real....

[AndrewT]

Dear Everyone.... yes, even you,

I know that, some people, have been saying this for 'Seemingly F..F..F...Flippin' ages but it IS nearly Christmas. You, really DO, have to write those cards, put up That Tree and BUY that 'Power Adaptor'. (I know, that you, thought that you would 'get one' at the Christmas Bazzar.... but, NOT this year!)

Little 'Jenny' is just going to, have to, 'Tollerate'- her cousin's- 'Smelly Poos'... it's only four days, after all. Grandma Will also 'Get Used' to the Trains, passing by... indeed, it's Only four days. Geoff will just have 'Grin And Bare' the Noise...It's ONLY four days. Aunt Chloe will just have to 'Adapt to', the draft....IT'S ONLY Four days. Robyn & Ryan will just Have, to have 'That' bed....IT'S ONLY FOUR Days! Everybody WILL Have Alice's Christmas Cooking.... IT'S ONLY FOUR DAYS!!!!!

So who are you Visiting, this year (if anyone, due to Covid). Uncle Bob, with his 'Strange' Boots? Aunt Carol and her 'Unusual' Mince Pies? Cousin Sid and his Bizzar 'T' Shirts? Granma 'J' and her 'confounded' Cats? NO you are going to 'Old Connor', yes... with the 'Left Handed' Cutlery! (it doesn't 'Work Properly, the 'right' way round... and hasn't, since he bought it- in 1936)

So Pack up, your car, with Blankets, Duvets, Throws... that 'Whatever it is', behind the Cellar Door... Along with All your Jumpers, Coats, Thermal Liners, Hot Water Bottles (and Wheat Bags), Thermos Flasks and finally Toilet Paper. Three Days in THAT 'Outhouse'...... Maybe leave the Address, with a Neighbour... if you are not 'back' within the month!

So, in spite of the 'Creaking Floor Boards, Leaking Roof, Exposed Wires, Rotting Stairs, Collapsing Ceiling, Funny Smells, Endless Banging, The Trains 'Thundering' Past and the more 'Human Things'.... Mark's 'Huge' Cactus Collection, Dirty Nappies, Blocked Drains and- as I said before- Aunt Alice's Cooking....

Enjoy Yourself, it's Nearly Christmas!

AndrewT