My two sons were 11 and 7 when I was diagnosed. I haven't had any remission since then and continue to have treatment. My eldest boy was 16 yesterday and took his final GCSE this morning. I am very grateful to have been with them both over the last few years..just doing my job as a Mum.
Last evening I lifted one of our broody chickens up and there was a fluffy creamy white chick- an unplanned and unexpected joy. Little things like that make the struggle worthwhile as well as the big landmarks.
The following is a quote from the late Andy Ripley as big, strapping England rugby player in his day. I treasure these sentiments
"Dare we hope? We dare. Can we hope? We can. Should we hope? We must.
We must, because to do otherwise is to waste the most precious of gifts, given by God so freely to us all. So when we do die, it will be with hope and it will be easy and our hearts will not be broken."
Written by
sarah1963
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Thank you for posting today. I am coming to the end of second line treatment and feeling little fragile and emotional. My youngest child is at the end of Yr.9 and I fear I will not see him through his GCSE's. Your quote is very relevant and touching.
You may well get some good news at the end of this course of treatment and be able to really enjoy the summer. At this stage in the treatment no wonder you are feeling fragile. I think summer is a difficult time. We are supposed to be more active when all you want to do is snuggle down in the evenings and watch TV but its still light at 9pm. I am tired.
All the very best. I am sure you are doing a fantastic job.
Love Sarah
Hi Sarah
That really is a lovely quote... Thank you... Just what I needed at this moment.
I have seen my children grow up, and now I am watching my grandchildren grow up. Until OC happen to me I just took it for granted I would always be there for them but now I must fight to be there for them. I would love to see them take their GCSE`s and reading your stories gives me hope. Thank you so much Babs x x
I found all those milestones, such as leaving school, doing gcse's etc, very emotional. Not sure if that is just normal or because I thought I would never get to see them. I was diagnosed in December 1999, when my boys were 8 and 10 and my first big tearful breakdown wasn't when I was told I had cancer, but when it looked like I would be in hospital and have to miss the school christmas play. I didn't think I would be around to see the next one.
However, I have seen them through sats, gcse's, AS, A's and finally graduating from uni. I was crying that day too. Very proud and never thought I would be around to see it.
So, your blog has reminded me that we should never give up on hope.
Its really late and I 'm very tired, but I felt so moved by your blog that I must post a reply.
I was diagnosed 4 years ago , my daughters were 15 and 18. You are so right , those milestones are so important and we appreciate them so much more than the general population.
After a fairly short remission, I have had quite a bit of treatment. Finished 4th line chemo last week. Have not been in remission for 3 and a half years.
This summer the big milestone has been seeing both daughters complete the 1st year of uni.Yes they are now 19 and 22 ( the eldest was a rebel before I got cancer, she is now a law student LOL) Still awaiting exam results though. Glad I am here to worry about that.
I don't have chickens , but about 2 weeks ago a duckling wandered into my garden and I was so excited that I took photos and sent them to loads of people. I would never have done that before I had cancer.
I really liked the quotation, and I think this is a great blog.
I am so glad that you feel the same way and its sometimes worth stopping to appreciate all that has been enjoyed and achieved in the years we have been having treatment. I really think that on occasions the special moments are all the sweeter. It sounds as though you have every right to be proud of your daughters.
Yes it was late last night. Look after yourself and make sure you get your beauty sleep!!!
I hope that you all have a lovely summer now that the GCSEs are out of the way.
Yes I am in Caister on sea, its been lovely this week with all the sunshine.
Love Juliex
I love your quote.... Without hope what have we got. Since I was diagnosed my daughter has just a finished her PGCE to be an infant teacher. When she started I was convinced I wouldn't get to her graduation. I have 6 grandchildren and in September I have a very busy time meeting My new grandaughter we never expected to have, that lives in LA, and seeing the rest of the family altogether for a few days building memories with the new baby. In the. Midst of it is my daughters graduation ceremony.. Things to look forward to and give you hope. I have just started my 6th round of chemo, and this morning my hair has started coming out...... Hope, what else have we got.
I'm glad you liked the quote. I like the fact that it came from a rugby player who was used to being brave on the pitch but had to be brave and upbeat in the face of cancer too.
It sounds as though you have wonderful things to look forward to. Will you be travelling to LA? I still haven't forgotten your cruise.
A 6th round of chemo. I really admire your staying power. I personally found each round harder than the last - it certainly doesn't get any easier. Hair loss is always a low point.
Here's to hope.
Much Love
Sarah
Hi Sarah
I just wanted to add to what I said earlier... I think this blog is so uplifting.. and had to read it again this morning...I hope you will see many more exams...that you children take... It puts a whole new meaning on "exams" ..... If you din't mind I will add you to my prayer list ? Thank you for this lovely blog.
I am really glad you liked the quote. I love it and sometimes you just need some well chosen words to focus on. Of course I like being on a prayer list but I am not the one in most need of prayer on this site. There are others having a much tougher time than me so can I suggest that you pray for all of us?
Love Sarah
Dear Sarah
You and so many others on this site have been through such a lot with this horrible disease. It's great that there are things you can celebrate and take strength from too.
Hi Sarah, i was really inspired by your quote, having some dark days as not soo well this cycle chemo and wondering how can ever face it again. But kids are 16 and 14 and would live in hope that see them grow into the wondeful adults they are becoming. Thats what we are doing being Mums(the best and hardest job in the world) !! and lets hope that we continue to be here for them . All ladies inspire me here to say never give up and continue to hope and fight on . I am early in diagnsosis as only on 1st line for grade 3b and hoping for the longest remission possible
Wish you well and belated birthday wishes to your son
It's wonderful to here. Someone like yourself can be a beacon of hope for those of us with only 2-3yrs behind us!!
Life is to be lived as fully as you can live it, whatever that means to you, getting OC has sharpened my senses and appreciation. You are so right hope is so important. You have strengthened mine!!
hi sarah1963 i am new to this group but was really interested to see that you are on the XL184 trial and that you were the first to get on it, I too am on the trial I was the last to get on being the 7th of 7!! the trial has been amazing for me (when i can stay on it) a prior illness has affected my blood count which fluctuates madly!!!! but my oncologist is an absolute gift she has so much patience and genuine care she tries it all to keep me on track. I have been incredibly well on this trial and have felt just like ME again. its been lovely reading the blogs i know where to look now on the days im not so positive thank you everyone
Yes the trial is a godsend and so is Angela. I can't believe how lucky we are. My tumours arent shrinking but they are stable - if thats good enough for Angela its good enough for me.
The last time I was at the RM I was told that as an OC sufferer I had been on this drug the longest - in the worId!!! I would rather be famous for something else but there we are.
I am very pleased things are going so well for you. Its really nice to be in contact with someone who is in the same boat, especially seeing as there are so few of us.
I hear from Angela that there are only 3 of us left on the trial at the RM so I consider myself very lucky. I have seen you there a couple of times will say hello when I see you next, my name is Jayne. Take care and hope things continue to go well for you
And go well for you too..For all of us in fact. Its strange to think I've been spotted. Yes please say hello. I'm there again next Monday. I have spotted another lady on the trial but have hesitated over making myself known. What if one of us has just got bad news?! Whatever happens we have been very lucky.
I hope you have had a good summer. This weekend is the last hurrah before everyone goes back to work and school. We are going to the seaside!
I know I sound like a stalker!! lol I am not at RM again till the 10th of Sept. and then i'm off to sunny Spain on the 25th for a week with 16 of my family (can't wait) Don't hesitate when you see her next time just say hello i'm sure she will be glad to see someone else who is doing well on the trial, I know I always wondered who else was on it and how they were doing. Enjoy the seaside I hope you have good weather
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I didn't think I would be around to see the next one. 
What's wrong with me?
Oh dear, disaster has shadowed me again.
Gem/carbo absolutely battering me!!
So Anxious it is killing me! 
Made me laugh at chemo today
