having that fear

[Cazy1010]

How do you cope after treatment (12 months on first diagnosis) of fear that it may come back , I’m struggling with this I’m usually a strong optimistic person

[TealSong]

Hey there! I'd love to give you an instant fix answer to this but the truth is that the worry doesn't just switch off (unfortunately). You've been through an ordeal and the fear doesn't go away quickly, and can flare up again from time to time. Have you had any psychological support to talk things through? Do you have a nurse specialist you can speak to about your concerns? I think part of me has learnt to accept that it is okay to worry after the cancer diagnosis, and to allow that. You're not on your own. Xx

[Pixiepurple]

Hi Cazy1010,

Not at the 12 months yet, but my thoughts are look at what you have over come. You are a strong lady & if it comes back ( it may not ) you will get through it.

Maybe speaking to a counsellor might help.

I am having a CT tom & I keep saying to myself if its back I'll fight it again. I will just be happy once my oncologist has a plan.

Take care, if I were you I'd be celebrating 12 months whooop xx

Best wishes

[wendydee]

Firstly, it’s now a part of your story. Try to accept it’s your reality.

From my own experience and that of many women that I’ve talked with, that feeling never goes away. What we can do is learn how to cope with it. I’ve come across many strategies, my own is to keep busy and envisage that fear as a little pixie that I put in a box, far in the back corner of my mind…….its somewhere over my right shoulder too (weird but we can do whatever we want with our imaginations, can’t we?).

Try to focus on the positives and plan diversions and treats for yourself. Get a structure…a plan of what you do with your days, like a timetable of you like. It all sounds very structured but it gives you something to deviate from. It maybe stops you drifting and overthinking.

Other women have found counselling very helpful, especially CBT. Others have found yoga and mindfulness helps them. We all have to find our own way. In my experience, the least helpful ways are denial and resentment. I remember talking to one lady who was feeling very bitter at everything and asked her hospital chaplain, “Why me?”. The chaplain said, “Why not you?”

It’s all very personal and you’re at an early stage. We have to work our own way through this, and you’ve had other worries to cope with too. Maybe finding a counsellor, via Macmillan or a similar organisation, would be helpful for you to come to terms with all the challenges and changes you’ve had in your life lately. You will find a way though. Just keep trying all the possible avenues.

We’re all here for you.

W xx

[Nectar24]

Hi there! All of the advice on here is spot on, We all know exactly how you feel. For me, unfortunately, I am at the stage of a first recurrence, Yes, it was a complete devastating shock but remember there is so much treatment out there. I try to view it as a chronic illness. I’m still working (before my treatment starts) and keeping really busy. I do a lot of drawing and painting and am going to continue with this during treatment and start an Etsy shop. I have just signed up for some free Macmillan Bupa councilling and have my first session on Tuesday. It’s so so hard, we are all incredibly strong and here for you. xxx

[Ruebacelle]

Well you deal with it then Now take the win live your life

[Morini]

2 years and I still feel that fear. Sometimes it is worse than others. I haven't tried this yet, but after some fear system training for work, my new approach is going to be to do some things like breathing/movement to bring me back from the fear rather than try to get rid of it.

[SopSinger]

Agree with the others - don't let it take over, but do ask for some counselling if you think you need a bit of extra support (and frankly, most of us do). There was a lovely quote on the old ACOR group years back - if you have one foot in the past, worrying about what did happen, and the other in the future, worrying about what might happen, you pee all over today! And if it helps, I'm coming up to 18 years since diagnosis, never had a recurrence, and my mum was a 28 year survivor and died of something non-cancer-related.

[NellieAnn1]

While I don’t think any of us ever get over that anxiety of reoccurrence, I’ve always taken the attitude that no one’s tomorrows are guaranteed. I could be hit by a bus tomorrow. But now I have a greater understanding of what a gift every day is and try to make the most of it. Cancer is always somewhere in my mind (why else would I be reading these forums😊) but we have been given a bit of a heads up on how uncertain things can be that many people don’t get, so I try to take advantage of that. Best wishes.

[Saintgermain]

It may never reoccur no cookie cutter for OC I with time it becomes less distant in the rear view mirror. Each day is a blessing live it to the fullest. I was 22 months NED CA125 spiked early stage recurrence. I admit it was hard to wrap my head around just finished 6 Carbo/Taxol/Keytruda had 2 pet scans clear I think one of the hardest things of my own choosing was cold capping for the 2nd time a bit vain but it was important to me kept 80% of my hair.

[Leniko]

I think some fear is normal as long as it’s not obsessive and doesn’t take over your every thought. If you do have a recurrence, you will deal w it. Don’t let fear stop you from enjoying daily life. No one knows what tomorrow May bring.

Some ideas: join a survivors group , or see a therapist, consider mild antidepressants to help keep a positive outlook.

Good luck!

[VictoryPC]

The only way I cope with it is the fact that all I have to do is look around to see many more guys with much.more dire situations that are stronger and tougher than me.

[sarah040866]

Cazy1010 I’m sorry to hear you aren’t coping that well, if it’s any consolation I don’t think we do cope, I’ve heard today I have recurrence and to be honest tonight I’m a mess, can’t stop crying that this bastard cancer won’t leave me alone, or anyone else for that matter. I think I try to park it and put it to the back of my mind and try to get on with life, I’m very scared on the inside but not on the outside to the world. My friend was admitted to hospital last week because of a bad UTI, she was petrified of bloods being taken (I was with her) and all I could think was, you don’t know the half of it…she’s fine and home now, a dose of sodium on a drip and strong antibiotics and her life can go on. Sadly we take it day by day….usually terrified, but not showing it xxx