Emotional caregiver

[Irene2020]

It really gets so so hard sometimes. Its the 4th day after mum’s 3rd chemo, she hasnt eaten anything, she isnt even talking much. I dont know how she is feeling but i know she is hurting & she cant tell me coz oh in her eyes i am still her little girl & it breaks her heart that she cant be the one to be there for me when i’m going through this..i am her only child. I am her caregiver & honestly i would wish to share her pain if only it was possible, it hurts to see her pain & it even hurts more to see her breaking down when she feels that she has let me down by being sick. Stage 4, ovarian & endometrial cancer. Sending hugs&prayers to all the warriors here, please dont feel like you are a burden, please dont think that you are doing this all alone, we are here & we really are here to journey with you through it all.

[Katmal-UK]

Hi Irene, having been my mums caregiver I totally understand your post, the way yr mum is appears to be the same way my mum was. I could see how she was feeling in her eyes, she said the things I did ( she had a colostomy bag) I should never had to do but I always told her she was my mum and Id do what ever she needed. Make sure you look after yourself so that you are then able to give her the care she needs. Big hugs to you both xx Kathy xx

[Emmacrispins]

Oh Irene, it must be heartbreaking to know your Mum is suffering and trying not to let you see it. Are you able to gently tell her what you’ve told us? I know you’ve said she’s not talking much, but if she could hear you tell her what you say so beautifully in your post, maybe it would help her to understand that she’s certainly not a burden and that you’re on this journey with her too. Your words are from the heart, I know you’ve already told her all of this but maybe she needs to keep hearing it, so she can process it and hopefully start to understand that you share her pain, and loving and caring for her is part of that. Its so hard, I know. I felt very emotional reading your post, Sending you and your Mum lots of love and strength, Emma x

[akossgolden in reply to Emmacrispins]

Emma that was beautiful. it certainly helped me put things in perspective. thank you.

[LittleSan]

Love and strength to you Irene 💐😘

[SUE7777]

Dear Irene,

I'm really sorry for your situation. I've just completed treatment 5 and I know on day 3 after the chemo you can be in a lot of pain, my day will start this afternoon. If you can get your Mum to admit it to the oncologist they can give pain relief which has really helped me especially with sleep. I hope she's okay. Take care both. Sue xx

[fendweller]

Oh Irene I can totally understand how you feel and how your mum is feeling. I felt I was a burden and felt so guilty because I thought I'd ruined my husbands life and my family's, I needed constant reassurance from my husband that he was glad to be able to look after me and do all the jobs I could no longer do,hard to accept when you've been independent, so just keep telling your mum you love her and want to care for her,what your mums going through is hard ,but your job is equally hard in different ways.

There was days when I felt too drained to talk or eat ,so try not to worry ,I found each cycle of chemo was worse than the previous one, sometimes your mum will feel too emotionally drained to talk to anyone,my husband learned when to just let me get on with it and when to give me a hug and make me laugh .As for food I found I'd say no ,but if he brought me something ,bowl of soup, fruit cut in bite size pieces ,I would try a bit .

Its so much harder for you both now with isolation , doom and gloom, for every bad day there will be a good day ,Sending you both love and hugs.xx

Cheryl

[Lizchips]

Your mom has to eat, lots of small meals, drink plenty of water. You can't survive without food and water. She needs to eat. If not you need to phone Dr. Sorry to be so blunt but this is not something to play with. This disease kills more than survive.

[Irene2020]

Thank you all lovely warriors & fighters. Each of your messages has made it easier. Today i threatened her that i will take her to hospital admission & after i walked away crying she actually asked for something to eat.. i am glad