Hello I’m sorry this post is not a positive one. My sister is very nearly at the end of her life. She had complications including a stroke and was unable to continue chemo. She wanted to come home to her husband and we made that happen. She has carers 4 times a day to keep her comfortable and a medication driver. We don’t think she is in pain and she is sleeping most of the time. Her husband is finding this very difficult as are her girls. It seems it’s too late for her to be moved to a hospice. I feel incredibly guilty for leaving when I visit. She can’t speak but holds my hand. I feel I am not helping or supporting very well. The bad weather is preventing us from visiting so her husband is on his own. I will try to get there tomorrow. I don’t know what to do.
Just need a friendly hug....: Hello I’m sorry... - My Ovacome
Just need a friendly hug....
I think you're doing all that you can under the circumstances. Just being with your sister, especially holding her hand, can be so soothing to you both.
Would it be possible for you to spend the night with her?
Likely her carers are doing these things, but just washing her face, brushing her hair (if she can stand it), changing her into a fresh nightie can mean so much.
Here's my big hug to you. This is a difficult time so take care of yourself. It sounds like your sister has loving people around her.
Oh sweetheart you are doing everything you possibly can, so please don't beat yourself up because you can't be with her because of this awful weather. She's at home which is where she wants to be and like you said isn't in any pain and is sleeping. This is a very difficult time for all of you right now and the carers will be doing everything they can for her. I hope you can get to see her tomorrow and in the meantime I'm sending you a massive hug, love Kerry xx
Keep doing what you are doing Steph....sending a huge hug to you xx
If you possibly can it might be a good idea to stay overnight because of this bad weather. It may help her husband to have someone there overnight also rather than on his own. But try not to feel guilty when you have to leave. If your roles were reversed you’d know your sister was doing all she could and would be very appreciative.
It sounds as if your sister is pain free and is being well cared for and you and her family should feel proud you’ve supported her achieve her wishes to return home from hospital.
Best wishes to you at this difficult time. Look after yourself.
Thank you ladies. My plan is to stay over tomorrow I’m just worried I won’t get there. We are in Scotland. I live in Edinburgh and my sister is an hour away
Your location makes it really difficult for travel. Has the situation eased at all today?
Don’t feel guilty, you sound to me like a very caring sister. You can only do what your able to do. I’ve always said it’s hard for our family to cope with our illness.
I’m sorry that your sister is so ill, but you know when you get this disease you do prepair for it. That’s my thoughts anyway.
Love to you and your sister and family. Xxxxx
You ARE doing all you can, having been where you are now albeit with my mum, you are there for your sister and I am sure she knows it . Please be kind to yourself, by being there when you can is supporting both your sister and her family. Sending you a bug hug at this difficult time xx Kathy xx
I just want to give you a friendly hug and to echo what all these wonderful women have said to you. You definitely sound like you're doing the best you can in the circumstances, & your sister will know that. Sending you all my love & prayers xxx Sundra
Thanks everyone I appreciate all your kind words.
Hi Stephgrey, I read your post with a heavy heart, do not feel guilty as the other ladies have said, my sister died of breast cancer a few months ago and I could not get to see her much as my own health keeps me at home, I managed to see her a couple day before she died and told her Loved her.
This is a very difficult time for you all, go when you can tell her you love her and being there for her husband and girls is all that can be asked of you
Take care my love hugs and kisses to you ..Lorraine 💙💙
Hi Steph,
You can only do what you can do. I’m sure your sister appreciates it when you are there, but understands that sometimes you can’t be. I would love to have a sister like you to help me through this time in my life.
Best wishes, stay warm and safe when travelling, Ali x
Such a sad post. So sorry about your sister.
Please don’t beat yourself up about not being able to be there all the time. She knows you love her.
Sending you a very big warm hug at the most difficult time xxxxx
Sending a big hug xxx
Sweetheart you are doing everything you can to being supportive, you got her home to be with her loved ones, her carers will ensure she is not in pain and make her as comfortable as they can.
Sending hugs and prayers to you all.
Ellsey xx
Do hope you can get through the snow today for your sake as much as for your sister and her family. I know how much it means to have a close loving sister and she will have been sustained through this horrid illness by your love and support. Take care of yourself. Sending a hug and 🌻🌼🌹🌸🌺 Jo xx
Hi
You and your sisters family are a massive support.
Your sister will be aware that you’re there and keeping her company.
When my mum was at the end of her life my daughter used to massage her hands with lavender oil which seemed to make my mum smile.
Thinking of you all and sending hugs 🤗 to you all. Xx
Sending love and kind thoughts to you and your family. Xx
I’m so sorry to hear your sister is so poorly. I’m sure she knows you are doing everything you can to help her. Be kind to yourself. ((Hug)). Vicki x
You are doing a fantastic job. Just holding her hand will give her such comfort. I hope you're able to get through the snow today. God bless x
You’ve no doubt been there for her in the difficult times. She will appreciate that. A big hug to you.
Cheryl X
...she knows how much you care for her....near the end Ithink you get to the stage of beginning to let go and it is not necessarily as unpleasant as those of us who are caring imagine. But I know it's difficult to believe this. I echo what so many of others have said. Try to remember, you've done so much already...love Chris xx
I made it to my sister! It took a while but I am here. Thank you all for your support.
I'm so sorry to hear about your sister. I would imagine holding her hand is very comforting and while she may not be able to speak I am sure she can hear you. I would just talk gently to her, or can you perhaps read to her, how about some beautiful poetry, which might help both of you. Can you ask her husband what is the most useful/helpful thing you could do for him at the moment. Making sure he is fed, and that the freezer is stocked with easy to heat meals. I'm so sorry I can't offer anything else... just take this time to tell her you love her xxxx
I think you have been amazing! All you can do is what you are doing. Don’t beat yourself up, just hold her hand and do what you can, weather permitting.
Just want to send you love and best wishes xxx
You are doing what you can. She knows that. Do what you can but don't forget about yourself and your family. My prayers are with you and your sister. Enjoy and cherish each and every moment.
Hugs Carol
I agree with everyone who has responded. You ARE doing everything you can. A big virtual hug from me to you! Kim xx
Good morning Stephgrey. I am so sorry to hear that. Please know that although you feel like you are not able to do anything your sister can feel your love. I visited my mom everyday. She too could not speak anymore so I laid down next to her and told her everything I needed to say. Feel comfort in the fact that she knows you love her and you are there for her even if it’s in prayer and spirit. Sending you a big hug.🙏
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