just curious

[Lauragbr]

I’ve had OCD off and on since I’m 15. I’ve had times when my OCD goes into remission sometimes for years. I’m 69 now and finally got real help when I was 50. Since then I’ve learned CBT and ERP which has been very effective, as well as meds. In the past 19 years I’ve had two relapses, one is occurring now. I’m just wondering if others have had similar experiences. Of course, when I was 15 no one knew what OCD was and what was wrong with me. I look forward to your responses.

[Natureloverpeace]

I was in my late fifties before finally having freedom over OCD. The sneaky thing with OCD is that recovery isn’t linear and there can be lapses , even relapses. Sometimes even a happy event can be associated with it because it can come with a lot of uncertainty. I know someone whose OCD was triggered big time before his wedding because he kept asking himself “what if” questions and going down that rabbit hole. He was looking for that elusive certainty/guarantee that can’t be found. Some compulsions were involved but he fought back with ERP and put OCD in its place. He had what’s called a lapse. Even if he had had a full-blown relapse he wouldn’t have gone back to square one in the recovery process. He still would know the skills and how to use them.

[Lauragbr in reply to Natureloverpeace]

Thanks for your response

[Natureloverpeace in reply to Lauragbr]

You’re welcome.

[deValentin]

It happened for me to have an OCD remission for one year only to see it return with great force. It's like for drinking. You could be sober for a time, and then one day, may be when your mood is a little bit low, you cross a red line in a search for greater satisfaction (greater certainty in the case of OCD). If you don't react soon enough, you see yourself embarking on a new out-of-control drinking (or OCD) cycle.

[Lauragbr in reply to deValentin]

thank you for your response

[Sallyskins]

I've had a few relapses, usually when I'm under stress. It's normal to have them, as OCD is highly reactive. But it's important to go on an all-out assault on the OCD when you do relapse, putting into practice the lessons you've learned from CBT and ERP.

I'm a little bit younger than you, and when I first got OCD properly I was 21 (though I can trace it back to childhood) and no one had heard of it. I made quite a quick recovery, then found myself in a really boring job where if you had brains you were forbidden to use them or make the tiniest decision on your own initiative! The OCD returned and I was referred to a really useless psychotherapist who didn't have the decency to tell me that what I had was OCD (though of course he knew about it) or to use CBT techniques. I found out about OCD when my mother bought me a self help book called Living with Fear by Isaac Marks.

I got a referral to a proper CBT therapist some years later. I think that you're doing really rather well, with only two relapses in 19 years. I know it sucks for you at the moment, but keep those CBT tools sharpened and make use of them! Also, if there's anything you can do to take the stress away, then do so! Keeping active and busy helps, but not so busy that you overdo it - that's more stress! Go easy on yourself and you can come through it.

[PiaAmI in reply to Sallyskins]

Can you provide me w/the CBT tool(s) that work for you? I am in a terrible OCD flair.

[Sallyskins in reply to PiaAmI]

Don't expect too much of yourself when OCD flares up. There are lots of tips and ways of dealing with it, but here are a couple that have worked well for me.

One tip is, if OCD is being troublesome, then decide to take a break. Say to yourself that you won't worry about it just now, but that you can have ten minutes' worry at, say, four o'clock or any other time you want to pick. The chances are that four o'clock comes and goes and you've forgotten all about it - including the thing that OCD was making you worry about!

Another trick is, if your anxiety is really high and getting worse, to think of it as, say, clouds overhead, or a billowing wave on the shore, or any other metaphor you can think of. The clouds overhead are black; the wave swells. But the clouds will disperse and move away and the wave will break and crash on the shore. In the same way your anxiety will peak and then subside.

Do try to go against the OCD if you can, but don't worry if you 'fail' and give in. Each attempt is a small victory against the OCD - a reminder to the OCD that you can fight it! And then try again.

Books: I've found Overcoming Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and The OCD Workbook helpful. There are others but make sure they use CBT techniques.

[Lauragbr in reply to Sallyskins]

Thank you, great advice!

[PiaAmI]

Glad you posted. I am also 69 but have had no remissions from my OCD. I have been in a flair up w/it for 2 years due to stressful life circumstances. May I ask which medication has helped you & who you saw/see for ERP?

[Lauragbr in reply to PiaAmI]

I am currently on Zoloft ( setraline). I’m at 125 mg going up to 150 next week. I also have an OCD therapist. There are many good books about OCD, I use the OCD workbook. There is also a book by Penzel I have read. OCD is a complicated illness and you need the right therapist. A psychotherapist is not useful. It would be best for you to work with a therapist who can guide you through the management of your OCD. One bit of advice I can give you is don’t go down the rabbit hole and try to “ figure things out “. Let the anxiety build and stay with it, it will pass. Good luck to you.

[PiaAmI in reply to Lauragbr]

Thank you, Laura. I take Cymbalta 60 mgs & my psychiatrist has tried adding in a few other meds which I do not like taking. I also take medication for anxiety and sleep. I'm in the middle of moving to another state and am extremely stressed. The OCD is outta' site. I need a good CBT therapist.

[Lauragbr in reply to PiaAmI]

if you need a therapist this website IOCDF has resources

[Natureloverpeace]

Living an ERP lifestyle after treatment is vital. OCD will try to creep back in so it’s important to be proactive. As soon as it does, no matter how small OCD’s attempt is, use ERP . One of the most recommended books by top OCD specialists is Freedom from OCD by Jonathan Grayson, Ph.D. Jon thoroughly explains how OCD works and what is necessary for long-term freedom from it.

[FirstResponder23]

hello,

Even with all the knowledge out there now and my time through therapy I have had a few relapses. It is totally normal. OCD is loud and annoying and it likes to come around when there is time of change. I noticed that my relapses happen with change in my life and when I let my guard down. When I get better I slowly forget to take advantage of all the day to day “mini exposures” I can be doing. I am so comfortable that k end up doing little rituals and not noticing. My focus now is to really be aware of that and use each day to hit the ocd. I’ve also learned that even with doing all that, ocd can still pop up and be loud at times. It’s how we respond to it when it does and how hard we work at bossing it back that makes all the difference.

Trust me, I know this is easier said than done. I am saying all this, yet, I am currently going through a relapse as well. But if you work hard and really focus your mind on leaning into ocd and seeing it for what it is, a massive liar, and don’t give it the emotions it wants, it slowly gets easier each time.