When will I be smarter?

[Kaashi_Reads]

I have always thought about how some people are so good with excuses and getting away from problem.

I remember there was one month compulsory college attendance for us because elite professor from another university was going to teach us a course . So our college demanded strict 100 percentage attendance for a month.

I needed leave for my brother's chemotherapy and had to meet my teacher as well as principal for leave , even after that they made a fuss that I am already destroying my medical career by not attending. But there was my classmate who very slyly applied for leave by saying his religious guide had asked him to go for pilgrimage because he was having nightmares of a ghost calling him. And he was given leave without wasting one second.

But what he did was , the very next day , in the evening, he posted pictures of him sitting in stadium watching a sports match. He took leave for that.

Here I was trying hard to get leave for a genuine reason and there he was bunking important lectures to live all the fun.

Sometimes I feel being truthful and disciplined will only take you nowhere. It is these smart people who live with happiness and satisfaction.

And I have noticed this since I was younger and it has affected me all the time. Why I wasn't made the leading Captain for my squad at school while my best friend became even though the basis of selection was high grades and I had been topper that year?

Because in her speech was motivating unlike me , where as I just list down the things I would get done for my squad and she spoke like she was already the leader of the squad.

Street smart people always get thing into their way.

And I have searched ways to be one . Certainly self help books don't help. Even they say get on the streets to get street smarter . Get out of comfort zone. I have tried but have majorly made a fool of myself . In my college once I tried to write a letter to principal to change our coordinator who was cool with boys but strict with us girls. But my best friends, even my partner asked me to back off , since they thought I would hit dead-end and the coordinator would trouble me later.

I mean what should I do , if I get out of the way my wellwishers ask me to not get in trouble. This has happened since long which is why I fear to get into trouble because I wouldn't know how to handle it.

I do give public speeches confidently, I have participated in debates , won too but these are simulated environment for me where I know this is just a competition, a game.

But in real life I go blank.... And how don't know how to deal with real life situations

[ladeda]

Hi Kaashi, you come across as very smart, why do you want to compare yourself to others, own your own talents, it's never wise to look at other people and judge either what they do or what they get away with, does it really matter. What would the difference be if you made yourself go to a lecture if you were very unwell and had brain fog? You know once you feel better you are more than capable of doing your own research and catching up, so best not to take others opinions of anyone telling your going to ruin your career, maybe there not so smart. or are you saying you didn't want to attend any lectures or do any work in your course? It doesn't sound like you don't care, quite the opposite You're in control of your career and if you're passionate about it you will easily get over a little hickup, if not you would be asking yourself what direction you want to go. You can't control what happens in the world around you, but you can control how you react to it. The reality is there will be lots of failures in life, there is for all of those motivation speakers and high achievers, but they have passion to keep going forward in the face of adversity to become who they are, you most certainly will also have lots of successes. Being a smart person is very ambiguous, We can spend the while of our lifetime learning, just look at history science has made loads of mistakes as new information comes to light, the smart people stay open minded to stay on top of their field, it wouldn't be fair to just criticise when someone else gets something wrong, so try to stop criticizing yourself and live with compassion and an open heart, you're doing well so try a little bit to accept yourself without so much disappointment, it's a long road ahead try to enjoy the journey, the successes as well as the failures, they both have something to teach you.