My life

[Melanien]

Every day at the minute is a struggle, and I honestly am getting to the point of not wanting to try anymore, my job is incredibly stressful my boyfriend of 7 years has just ended our relationship and ive had to move in with my sister, I'm currently sleeping in a 3 year old bed and have had to leave my home behind, and I'm going to have to call the manager of my job tomorrow and leave because its in another city, everything has crumbled.

[Hidden]

Sorry things seem to have gone bad for you.

Was your flat not in both names or just your Exs name. The reason I ask is why it was you to move out, not Him ??

Could you manage to keep your job while you look for a place in that city ??

Try and look for alternatives, your employer may be able to give you time to find another place too live. Remember your ex Boyfriend needs to accept some form of responsibility because of the time you have been together. It would seem to many this was a Common Law Relationship, and you may be able to seek Legal Advice

BOB

[Melanien in reply to Hidden]

I decided to leave the house we rent, I couldn't stay there feeling this down on my own filled with memories of me and him together, I have no family there either, so I would literally be stuck in a house that was filled with good memories and it would break me more than I am, I honestly am struggling to cope so much at the minute with everything burning and I just can not see a light.

[Hidden in reply to Melanien]

Sorry for your for you, it does not take much to turn our lives upside down. If you could get another flat in the same city would that not help you so you can keep your job.

How far are both cities apart ?? Can you drive or catch a train etc over the short term

until you can get settled.

BOB

[Melanien in reply to Hidden]

I honestly know it sounds silly but because I am crying constantly and I'm feeling really down, I don't want to be on my own and I don't really have anyone up there. That's why it's really hard, I called the doctors today and have been put on antidepressants, and I honestly don't even know if I should take them or not, because I don't know if there's a chance me and him get back together, and he told me he didn't want our relationship surving on me taking pills, and that's playing in my head, my mind is all over the place and I'm like keeping it together as much as I can in front of my family but I night I'm breaking down into bits, I haven't eaten in 6 days I'm having 1 to 2 drinks a day, because I feel filled with tears.

[Itwillbeokay2020 in reply to Melanien]

I am crying reading this. You are in exactly the same position I was in not so long ago. My only help can be how I feel now three weeks on. Staying with your sister is a blessing you have somewhere to go. She is your sister and if you can be honest about how you are feeling ( tell her when you need space, let her know you might be upset sometimes but it is just how you feel) continue talking to ur gp and take the tablets ! Antidepressants are not a sign of weakness but a medical solution to a medical problem. If you have spent 7 years with someone who cannot support you at your worst then they do not deserve you for the next seven at your best. I feel comfort reading your story knowing I’m not alone and I hope you feel the same. Now is time to take control of your health and sort that. A job and home cam come later. You need to focus on the smallest of steps. Wake up in the morning and get up ( even if it means moving to the couch with a cuppa) then take each hour as it comes. I promise you will get through this.

[Melanien in reply to Itwillbeokay2020]

It's honestly so hard I just keep crying I zoned out all the time and I blame myself for my relationship failing he basically told me he got fed up of looking after me and he was my minder, and I carry that blame and guilt with me, I would bring things up he had done to hurt me, and he would always bring up what I wasn't doing in terms of helping with the house and I honestly just feel in bits, my sister doesn't get it, she thinks I shouldn't cry over him and my friends are amazing they all keep telling me to stay with them so I have a great support network, the problem I have is he was my best friend and I feel broken with the whole situation and everyday is getting harder I keep calling him crying, but I realise I can't make him happy after feeling like this, it's a lot, thank you for reaching out it feels a bit better knowing you have been through it because I don't feel like anyone gets it xc

[Muppet71 in reply to Melanien]

Hi, sorry that you're going through this, as you've mentioned you are not alone. You have a support network to lean on.

Firstly don't feel bad for crying a lot. You feel like you have lost something, and it's okay to be sad about that, so don't beat yourself up, give yourself some time to grieve.

Did you and your partner ever sit down and talk through the problems that were in the relationship. Communication is key to stopping tensions building up to the point were one party feels unable to carry on.

Obviously you know your partner better than us. When you call him do you do all the talking, are you the one trying to engage him in conversation about your relationship.

If he is not wanting to talk about your relationship I would suggest you stop calling him, especially if the conversation is only going one way. Some men actually take pleasure in these sort of situations, especially the control aspect.

If it's too emotional for you to call your boss at work then e-mail them explain the situation and take some personal leave.

If people don't know what's going on they cannot offer any help.

I know you probably feel like everything is too much right now, but you know what, you can get through this. You have taken the first step and reached out to this forum.

That first step is always the most scary, but you did it.

Keep moving forwards, even if it's one step or one day at a time. And remember you are never alone.

[Daveboy71]

When you hit rock bottom it's good to stay there for a while. I did. I quit my job 30 miles from my home. I tried another couple of jobs till i found one I liked. I tried ADs, none worked. I stopped going out with people who had more baggage than I did and am now more balanced. It took a while but I got there...so will you.