hi. Im new to the forum. My wife is/has bipolar. My wife was diagnosed with post natal depression after our first child and was given antidepressants - which didnt stabalise her mood- we rolled with the moods as we were non the wiser being first time parents. only after the 3rd child was she diagnosed with BP. she has since tried loads of medication and stabalised for a little while on lithium. In feb she though the had "nailed it" and was stable - then the whirlwind started with paranoid ideas, ego driven fixed beliefs and very dominant behaviour - this as a result caused lots of doubt in my personal and parental beliefs. I too suffer with depression as well as alcoholism - i stopped a year ago and its helped loads but when she gets her teeth into an idea its really hard to shake it or discuss options with her - i tend to withdraw and wonder if perhaps im not considering it right - self doubt, low mood self esteem etc etc. kicks in.
She is now under 2 psychiatrists - both giving similar advice - that she is not fit for work - and they keep adding meds - this is knocking her confidence and mood so i have to be strong again and be the support.
it is a rollercoaster and I often feel like im loosing my touch on whats normal.
we tend to normalise and just get on with thing.
At present I'm feeling very isolated and trying lot to let her dismissal of me and my ideas drag me down.
Thanks for reading X
Written by
Erunner
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Welcome to our supportive community. Well done for taking a brave step out of your comfort zone to reach out for help. Hopefully, you will find folks here are only too willing to come alongside you and share from their personal journeys and experiences.
You are obviously having a difficult time right now, and often the needs of carers looking after their loved ones with mental health problems are overlooked. You do need to look after your own mental health and wellbeing, otherwise, you won't be able to cope with your situation. It is unclear from your profile where you live in the world, so it is difficult to signpost you to appropriate services in your country. Most of the following information is UK based, but hopefully, when you've had a browse, it will give you some pointers of what to look for in your country.
Thanks mas. I live in the UK. I'm a gp and have a good idea of what's available etc. But as you know. When your in the medical profession perspective gets screwed and what's "normal" is not clear cut. Hence reaching out to here. Thanks for the support and I'll keep checking on here. It can be a lonely road but we have a strong marriage and we do remind ourselves of this. Even in the tough times x
I think it's more difficult for those in the caring professions to ask for and get the right help and support. Mental health problems among the medical profession are on the rise, but who helps the doctors? As a nurse, I have MH problems and have accessed help from my GP and local IAPT services. But even admitting at first that I had problems, then needed medication and psychiatric intervention took a lot of courage, I felt ashamed and had to overcome the stigma, that I was letting my team down, and that I should just pull myself together and get on with it. Of course, only by admitting I needed help, did I find out that I was not alone in my profession with MH problems, and that no one is immune! We are only human after all. Just because we know a bit more medically, than the general public, can actually make it worse. I've done a quick web search, and you may have looked at these already, but they may offer specific help to you:
Do keep in touch with us. We can offer a listening ear if nothing else. The anonymity of an online forum such as this can provide that safe space to share without the fear of repercussions.
Thanks mas. That's exactly why I join we do. To chat and let go of things to help life at home x
Can you send her to a facility to help her deal with her thinking patterns to recognize when she’s doing them for a period of time so the visits aren’t just every few weeks & drugs? I think that it takes a community to help her realize she’s going on tangents and how to deal with those without setting her off where she feels safe and can put trust in others to identify escalation of behaviour. & I believe I her monitoring herself through the day keeping track of where she’s at in scales 1-10 in frustration anxiety sadness calmness happiness this way she can use her tools to recognize and deal before escalation of negative emotions. This takes effort commitment but pays off. And understanding her part that if you ask where are you at? It’s not condescending it’s to both know & help her identify to know she needs to use her tools to manage herself be it a break breathing exercise problem solving the situation so forth.
It’s really hard for her too & the meds can be brutal. I think the above will be helpful to you both. Meds alone don’t manage things& they can cause issues too. It will take time but the self regulation component and done throughout the day will help & as time goes in also timed management of her daily routines like schedules of her daily routines done day before visual she can know what to expect and it can be flexible will help to see what she can do and can’t do and motivation to achieve this includes personal time for relaxation. And figuring out to achieve things. Noticing patterns & meeting objectives. Trust me this will help if both are done. Start small. And you need to have downtime in your own schedule be it an hour after work hiring someone to do some things at home to reduce your load if you can afford that could even include having someone pick her up and taking her out or coming in to give you that time so you can hit the gym breathe go for a walk or a coffee by yourself - self care
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