I’m struggling...

[chxz7]

I don’t know what to do. I struggle with depression and anxiety. My boyfriend has said he doesn’t understand mental health as a whole. Which is alright. I’m willing to explain to him so he’s able to support me (as I am doing Saturday). However I’m lost and confused. He said I need to explain so he has an understanding. But he broke up with me last Saturday night until about midday Sunday when he decided to give me another chance as I hadn’t had the chance to explain my mental health to him properly. He broke up with me because his friends said to due to there being “nothing in common” and “hardly knowing each other” which honestly. Isn’t true. I could sit here to you all now and reel off his favourite chocolate bar, colour, bands, tv shows, I could even name all 6 of the chickens they have as pets. I have only met one of his friends and we got along pretty well, however, another friend isn’t the most pleasant. I know him but not through my boyfriend, through a friend of mine who has dated the horrible friend. So it doesn’t surprise me if it was him that said to end everything. My boyfriend admitted he still loves and cares for me a few days ago. But last night said it’ll be like falling in love all over again for him. I feel like I have to ask his permission to talk and see him now because his friends have had a massive impact on how we were. This all started. Because I had a meltdown last Friday about not wanting him to go home. I was sat on my stairs screaming, crying and pulling his arm back towards me trying my hardest to make him stay. I was saying I’d pay him to stay and I hurt him. I hurt him because just as he had no choice to leave he said I love you, and I screamed no you don’t and ran into my bedroom. I saw the pain evident on his face as he turned to leave and he later admitted to me I really badly hurt him when I said he doesn’t love me or care. He says he was really happy when everything was okay and oh my we were. His parents loved me, treated me like their own daughter. His dad even said I was allowed to call him dad!! My family loved him, same concept, treated him like he was family. We spoke about the future, had nights where we’d stay at each others house (mainly Thursday to Friday night weekly as that was our only proper free time). And everything seemed utterly perfect. It wasn’t until that Friday when my mental health was low and I acted out that trouble was caused. I cried. I was heartbroken. But I still fought because he cares still. I see him Saturday and I’m scared that if I explain everything to him, he’ll realise it’s a lot and it’ll be too much and he’ll walk away. Mum says to just see what happens but I’m so scared. I don’t want to lose him due to his friend and my mental health. And I don’t know what I’m going to explain. I just don’t know what to do. He seems to want me but doesn’t. He says he wants us to go back to how happy and in love we were but says I have to give him more space (I saw him 2 days a week as he stayed over for the night). It’s hard and I don’t know what to do

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi chxz7 and a warm welcome to this caring forum. Please can any other forum members pop by and say hello to chxz7. Thank you and best wishes.