HATE THIS LIFE!!

[En1234]

This time last week, I thought my life was changing for the better. I had started a new job (found doing it really difficult - I just couldnt pick up the computer system the way everyone else was), I was fit and healthy with all the walking I have been doing. I had given up alcohol and I know it is not good for me. Alcohol and me dont get on, no matter how much or how small the amount it is just not good. So on Saturday night I thought it would be a great idea to get really drunk!!...So out of control was I that I logged on to Facebook and sent a really nasty message to the person who I blamed for me being in this position in the first place. She has not replied to me. I also sent an e-mail to my old boss and told him a few things as well, needless to say he has not replied back either.

I am not a nasty person but I cannot seem to shift the bitterness. This girl really does not know what she has done to me. She has turned me into this horrible, bitter and twisted person..and she will probably be enjoying the fact that she now knows I am feeling like this.

I cannot sleep as my brain refuses to shut down for long enough in order to let me get some rest!!

I just want to lie down and sleep and not ever waken up again...My son treats my flat like crap and never cleans up after himself. I gave him a telling of for this last week and now he is not speaking to me. He ignores me and the silent treatment really does my head in as my father used to do this to me when I was small.

Just want the pain to stop!!

[Hidden]

We are only human and we all have weaknesses, so try not to be so hard on yourself. I imagine you were disappointed that you couldn't pick up the computer system, but I'm sure in time you will master it. If the disappointment led to the drinking, that is understandable. Although you obviously feel bitterness towards your ex friend and ex boss, it might bring you some peace if you write to them again on Facebook and are totally honest with them, i.e. explain you were unhappy and had a drink and then you wrote to them and you wish you hadn't. You don't have to apologise, but just explaining what happened might help you feel better and stop you beating yourself up about it. Regarding your untidy son, can't you ask him to clear up after himself rather than telling him off? He might respond better if calmly asked.