Update on bullying campaign

About a month ago, I wrote of a bullying campaign being carried out by neighbours which had been going on, on and off, for years and which had recently escalated to the malicious lie that I was hurting my dog and which resulted in having various people that had been taken in by the lies, shunning me and certain dog walkers following me about when I took my dog for a walk to check if I was hurting him. Apart from the ones I know about, I believe there are various other ridiculous and spiteful lies going round too that I am not privy to - all with the intention of discrediting me and causing mental suffering (which the instigators will be pleased to hear they succeeded in doing. I now suffer from anxiety and high blood pressure and had to ring the Samaritans a week ago). Kind people on this forum suggested that I contact Citizens advice, but when I looked into this, I realised you can only contact your local branch and, due to certain neighbours spreading the venom far and wide, I didn't feel comfortable speaking to people locally due to severe trust issues. However, it has now transpired that all the malicious lies circulating for the past two years and getting worse over the past 4 or 5 months weren't coming from my next door neighbour (who had taken pleasure spreading lies after my husband died 15 years ago); they were in fact emanating from an office where I had worked for 14 years, before leaving their employ 5 years ago. I left due to a big falling out with my boss who had lied to me about an important personal matter. While I was working out my notice, to teach me a lesson, some crude, sexist nude photos were emailed to my boss by an associate and my boss then left them in his Inbox with the sole purpose of offending me (the system was set up so that I could see into my boss' Inbox in order to deal with matters for him or remind him of stuff. He always deleted anything even slightly offensive, but he purposely left these crude photos there for me to see (marked as important...) and then later wandered into my office, asking if everything is okay, with a silly smirk on his face). Because he became aware a few years back that I had mentioned the reasons for me leaving my job to a mutual acquaintance shortly after I left 5 years ago (which I am perfectly entitled to do as it wasn't breaking any confidentiality), the campaign to discredit me and make my life hell was put into place. Armed with the knowledge that I had been given the silent treatment in the past by certain neighbours, plus private email messages between myself and a former work colleague who still works there and - for reasons known only to herself - decided to make them public viewing, a really vicious nasty plan was put into place. Frightened that I may disclose/expose certain practices where I used to work, certain neighbours have been told malicious lies and have been only too willing to take part in spreading the nonsense without questioning whether the ridiculous lies are true or not. They probably think that because the lies are coming from a 'respectable' firm, they must be true! The truth is, I could expose some goings-on at that work place and they fear that because I told someone 5 years ago about the reasons for my handing in my notice, I may also tell people about other stuff. Hence all this discrediting. The things I could expose - but had absolutely no intention of doing so - are easily provable and are not covered by 'confidentiality'. The silly thing is, I hadn't even thought about the firm for 5 years! They have now made it an issue. What would you do in my situation? Would you whistle-blow? Part of me just wants to leave everything in the past, as I had been doing for the past five years. But another part thinks, "Why should I have to put up with the constant nasty, vicious, malicious lies that have had such an adverse effect on my health?"

[MAS_Nurse]

Hi Bakedbogey,

This is a very distressing situation for you and, I wonder if you should now go to the Police and /or seek free legal advice about your situation as it seems to have escalated out of control? Please don't give up on using CAB as often the advisors come from outside your local area at their advice clinics, and should act impartially. Maybe take a trusted friend with you to support you. Write down in bullet notes the key points and take any evidence you have.

Keep in touch and take care,

Best wishes,

MAS Nurse

[falling2peices]

Wow you wouldn’t believe how much ur story relates to my current situation

[Hidden in reply to falling2peices]

I'm very sorry to hear that. I hope things get better for you. x

[hypercat54]

Hi I just wonder why others would go to so much trouble to hate and spread gossip about you? It must take up a lot of their time and energy! Have you spoken to the police and if so what did they have to say? x

[Hidden in reply to hypercat54]

Thanks for writing. If you look at my reply to 'findingme' below, you will see that with a lot of support from family and a newfound friend, I realised these people are nothing - absolutely nothing - and I was allowing them power over me. I can't control their venom, but I can control my reaction to it. You ask about why they would spend so much time and energy on spreading malicious lies. The answer is twofold: fear and revenge. Fear that I may say detrimental things about my former employer (hence the campaign to discredit me. They are so childish, its untrue: she smells, her house is dirty, she's really stupid, she's horrible to her son, she's horrible to her dog, she doesn't really get a pension, she gets money from some dubious means, etc.), and revenge for me telling someone 5 years ago the truthful reasons for me leaving (which my former boss only found out about 2 or 3 years ago). Plus a house similar to mine came on the market and went under offer about 6 months ago when they intensified their campaign. This house sale would have triggered something in certainly two of them as the price achieved was quite high (I know that doesn't make much sense, but you don't know these two people like I do). This is a small place with not much to do and quite a lot of elderly people with lots of time on their hands live here. I think a lot of people must enjoy gossip; the juicier and nastier the better it appears. I think some people like ganging together - it gives them something to do, possibly, and makes them feel part of something. If they realised what these malicious gossips get up to, I think they would actually be embarrassed that they had allowed themselves to be manipulated; I think they'd feel really quite silly. But maybe not. Who cares...? Its not as if I've ever been friends with any of them. Regarding the photos of close ups of a woman's body - I don't find a nude photo offensive as such. It was the silly childish intent behind it. Actually I think it was 'findingme' that mentioned the photos....

[Findingme]

Whilst I have the greatest sympathy for your situation as I too have been on the receiving end of a campaign intended to bully me into submission, I think it is important for you to get some perspective. If you are doing nothing wrong then let people follow you whilst you walk your dog talk to them and let them get to know the real you. Eventually the truth will come out, and the bullies will lose, but you may have made some new friends who are worth knowing. As for the photos, if they are of identifiable people then there is a law against emailing them I believe, so it may be useful to get legal advice. However I would pity those who feel such things worthy of viewing. It makes them look bad, and you are right to find them abusive. Such a thing could be seen as tantamount to forcing you to leave and you could have a claim for unfair dismissal. I would advise anyone who has issue with an employee to tread carefully before trying to force them out, as it can rebound hard.

AS for whether you should blow the whistle on practices at your old workplace, unless it is necessary to protect someone it may be best to leave it as it may draw a whole lot of negativity your way. If it is serious though then take legal advice before proceeding so you do not get yourself involved, but think seriously about reporting it, even anonymously. There is a law against intimidation witnesses, and once it is in the hands of the police you will be a witness. It may well be that these bullies are cowards and once you show you have teeth they may back off. It is your decision though, and I hope you do not continue to suffer at the hands of these pathetic people.

[Hidden in reply to Findingme]

Yes, you are absolutely right! I considered going to the police, but what would I say...? With a shortage of manpower and serious crimes to deal with, what would they do anyhow? If I was going to blow the whistle on what my former boss got up to, it would be two other recognised bodies that would need to be informed. And I really don't want the involvement. Strangely enough, I had a wonderful 'eureka' moment today after discussing the matter with various family members and a friend. I realised with crystal clarity that I have been letting a two-faced, racist typist, a bitchy, manipulative businessman who looks like a cross between Elmer Fudd and Porky Pig with a voice like Boycie out of Only Fools and Horses, and my former boss - a weak willed fool who allows himself to be manipulated by Elmer/Porky into saying and doing things he otherwise probably wouldn't do, to make me ill. Why on earth have I allowed this gruesome threesome such power...? To think I was considering selling up my lovely home because of their childish and nasty campaign! As for the people who listen to their vitriolic garbage and act on it... I think they would feel pretty foolish if they realised they had allowed themselves to be manipulated by such lowlifes. Yes, let them follow me around. Its actually laughable. I bet Elmer/Porky laughs up his sleeve at how they all happily do his bidding. I feel so much better. Thanks for your reply.

[falling2peices]

No i haven’t called any police to scared to

[Hidden in reply to falling2peices]

Sorry to hear that you are scared. Have you been threatened?

[Hidden in reply to falling2peices]

An idea would be to let as many trustworthy people as possible (family and real friends) know what has been going on. Write everything down in minute detail including the reasons for the bullying/malicious lies and giving details of of those involved. Also detail what has happened as a result of these lies, including the impact on your health. Then, if anything happens to you, either as a result of violence or an 'accident ' everyone will know who was the cause of it - including the police, who your family/friends would notify and produce your written document. I don't know what it is like where you are, but police don't have the resources to even investigate burglaries any more, so I'm not sure how effective they would be if you or I reported the malicious lies anyhow, but I think maybe I was too dismissive of MAS Nurse's advice. Perhaps I should report what has been going on, just so its on record, if nothing else. Something else has caught my attention... I noticed a while back that the local postman gets involved with the nonsense, e.g. sometimes saying hello and other times deliberately snubbing me, or pretending he can't see me. I'm past caring about such childishness, but more worrying is I believe my post is being tampered with. Sounds far-fetched, I know, but I have good reason.

[falling2peices in reply to Hidden]

I understand every time I open my mouth about it I’m automatically nuts

[Hidden]

Falling2pieces - I think you have posted on the wrong topic... x

[falling2peices in reply to Hidden]

Your right sirry