I don't know where to start, or l can't remember where to start. I have taken so many different medications it has effect my memory. Plus the 18 ECTS didn't help.
I'm 65 years old and for 40 years l have been mentally sick. The labels have covered me all over.
They will never get it right. Even though we share the same terrifying experience we are all different in some way. Some worse than others. It's hard to think there's anyone worse that yourself but there always is.
I have tried suicide about 15 times. And l am still here by the grace of God. So many times l should have died. So many ways l tried. I can tell you it's not the answer to the problem. It just makes thing worse , well it always did for me. No one cared if l did or not. No support not then not now. Mentally illness runs in my family. But no one told me and no cared. I'm not feeling sorry for myself. That would be crazy after 40 years. I should be use to it by now. Right? There is no way of ever getting use to it. Every night l wonder what tomorrow is going to be like or what am l going to be like. Hard to make any plans so l don't. I'm alone but lam not lonely most of the time but you never know when you might
I try and my two dogs help more than anyone knows.