Work motivation

[Aguila1794]

How do you motivate someone to work when they would rather die?

[cashew78]

Hello. To be honest, I don't know. I have no idea how I motivated myself out of it, nor where that energy came from. I did know that I love animals; loved pretty much everything more than myself at that point. Eventually I got a cat and their needs motivated me when I was somewhere towards healthy-ish again. I wanted to at least make the kitty happy and have a good quality of life. It was easy because I valued them more than most people. It forced me to make way more effort than I thought possible. It could have easily fallen apart.I'm sorry, this isn't very helpful.

[Aguila1794 in reply to cashew78]

No it is helpful. I have cats too and they are a joy. The cat who gave me the most happiness passed away 2 years ago. I still have her sister who is 15. Anyway, thanks a lot and peace be with you.

[Aguila1794]

I really appreciate your response. It’s nice knowing someone can relate. Peace be with you.

[Midori]

I got angry with myself, and the voice in my head repeating my late husband's opinions that I was totally useless in every way. So ten years after he died, I got angry with myself for allowing him to control me for ten years after he was no more.

I had a tantrum; I screamed, swore and called him everything I had been afraid to call him in life and told him to get the **** out of my head! And it worked for a week, then tried to come back, so I gave it another blasting and It went for longer. Each time it tried to intrude, I threw it out again, and eventually the success of it worked, and I could function again.

You can have all the top psychs and therapists, but they are there only to support you until you can get up the strength to do it for yourself.

It does work; I have proved it.

Cheers, Midori

[Aguila1794 in reply to Midori]

That’s a very inspiring testimony. I guess I’m still in the stage of searching for the mental strength to get up and go. I’m glad you found your strength. Thank you for sharing.

[Midori in reply to Aguila1794]

My secret was that I needed to get well for my children, they were still very young.

Cheers, Midori

[Cookie2217]

Well that's a tough question to answer. Sounds like that person is deeply depressed and could use some medication in order to take that suicidal ideation away. The person could also benefit from therapeutic services too. Are you asking for you or someone else? What's going on that doesn't make them want to work? Is it fear of something or is it depression that they can't be motivated to get out of bed? I guess I just need to know a little bit more before I can offer advice. Wishing you peace and wellbeing.

[Aguila1794 in reply to Cookie2217]

It’s for me. I stay very depressed with few up times. I just don’t care about almost anything. There are things I want, but the drive to get them isn’t there. I simply want to skip life and go live in eternal peace with my Heavenly Father and my family.

[Cookie2217]

Hi there. I'm diagnosed with major depressive disorder in my last bout of depression lasted for long years I literally sat in the dark and total silence withdrew from everyone I knew and isolated myself totally. I had no motivation to do anything let alone get out of bed in the morning it actually made me lose my job too and from that I lost my place to live and now I live in my sister's basement. They only place I have to go from now on is up from here. Last year brought me to my knees. I wound up taking out my entire pension to get a car and to put money down on a house because my husband and I plan to move to Florida in September hopefully. This last part of depression was the most debilitating of my entire lifetime so I know exactly where you are at the moment. Are you on any medication? Are you in any therapeutic services? I just wish my medication to Prozac and I've been on it for an entire week with no side effects whatsoever and I feel pretty good on it. I think that you might need medication to get over this depressive episode my dear. Please let me know how you're doing you're not alone and I care. Wishing you peace and well-being.

[Aguila1794 in reply to Cookie2217]

I’m on a buffet of medicine for my ****. I’m really sorry you had to go through all of that. My depression got so bad 3 years ago that I started hearing voices. I was diagnosed with major depression and psychosis. I’ve tried to take my life, but couldn’t. After 16 years of therapy I finally stopped a couple of months ago. I’m about to start back though because there’s so much **** going on in my life and I know a lot of people have it worse. I’ve done just about everything under the sun and look at me now, more questions than answers and feeling no different. You seem very nice.

[Aguila1794 in reply to Cookie2217]

I’m only 27 and gay on top of everything.

[Cookie2217]

That should make no difference your very young a d have your whole life ahead of you!! What's so wrong with being gay? Have you been told there's something wrong with it? My best friend Lisa married a woman and I was a matron of honor for her. I was proud to be in her wedding party. My sister opted not to attend the wedding and threw away a 40 plus year friendship with Lisa. My sister is a fool.

[Aguila1794 in reply to Cookie2217]

I’m happy for your friend, but I’m bound by my spiritual beliefs to not engage in anything with another man. If only it didn’t matter 🤦🏻‍♂️. I’m happy for your friend truly. We all walk a unique path and sometimes we walk alone. The man I dream of probably doesn’t exist, outside of a movie that is.

[Midori in reply to Aguila1794]

Is suicide not a sin in your faith?

Cheers, Midori

[Cookie2217 in reply to Midori]

All suicides are unfortunate and sometimes those that are suffering so very much see no other way out of what they are struggling with and choose to commit suicide. I am a three-time suicide Survivor and tried to kill myself three separate times between the ages of 18 and 21 for multiple reasons. The only one that could have saved me was God himself and He did as I was in ICU for a day and a half and had my stomach pumped and have no recollection of any of it. I woke up to my family doctor saying those two people out there which were my parents can't go through this again they're not that strong and he told me whatever I was going through I needed to find a better solution then hurting myself over it. I never forgot his words and to this day he is still my family physician and recalls to me quite often how far I've come from then as I am 54 years old now. I am happy to say that I'm here alive and well I still struggle sometimes but I don't have nor have I had any more suicidal ideation since that time. I thank the Lord above for that as I wouldn't be able to handle that God himself protects me from those types of feelings. I've just been through a four-year battle with depression and this depressive episode has been the longest and most severe and debilitating bout in my entire lifetime. However, I found the strength to get through it and switched my medication from Pristiq to Prozac and I've been on it for a week and a half and I feel great and hopeful like I never have before and I am so thankful for medications and other treatments to help those of us that have major depressive disorder.

[Midori in reply to Cookie2217]

I understand that. My husband suicided in 1991. I brought up my 2 children solo. I wasn't easy, with the Inquests, his family accusing me of murder, etc., so after a year of that, I too fell down the Depression rabbit hole.

I dragged myself out of it by recognising my children's need and putting them first! My son has grown up and is Bi. He is my carer as I am 76 and disabled. We get on very well.

Cheers, Midori

[Cookie2217 in reply to Midori]

Awh my gosh I'm so very sorry to hear about the loss of your husband from suicide. That's so awful not only for him but for those that he left behind, you and your children and everyone else in the family. My husband's cousin committed suicide just two years ago out if nowhere. There were questions left unanswered why? what was he struggling with so badly that he ultimately chose that path? etc. God Bless you for coming out of your depression to come to your children's aid because they needed you and you were there for them raising them completely by yourself. I'm so happy to hear that you and your son get on so well and that he is your caregiver. There's nothing like the love between a mom and her children. Wishing you peace and well-being. ❤️

[Cookie2217 in reply to Aguila1794]

I'm so sorry that your spirituality doesn't align with who you are at the core of your being. My other best friend, John who lives in Naples FL is living with another man for the last 26 years. Steve his lover and partner dated me many many years ago. When I introduced him to John he dropped me off that night and then went straight to John's house unbeknownst to me. The rest is all ancient history. Yes there was a huge blowup between all of us and I felt so betrayed but Steve was trying to save face and couldn't come to terms with the fact that he was actually a guy man so he tried to hide it but he would up falling down John's stairs and broke two of his fingers and when I went over his house the next day I asked him how he broke his fingers and he was busted he told me that he was at John's house and he wound up falling down the stairs but the two of them hit everything from me for a while. But I was not stupid or naive and asked him immediately why he would go to John's for and he had no answer for me. I knew something was up. Then another friend of ours, his name is also Steve N. started telling me that he would see my boyfriend, Steve Z. at the bay with other men. I had my answer forsure right then and there that he was hiding his true self from everyone especially from me. It came to a point where the two of them came to me and asked me to lie for them and tell everybody that they weren't together. They begged me but I told them that it was too late and that they needed to come clean with everybody their friends and their family. John wasn't ready for a while. While John's father was still alive he would bring me as his date to all of his family affairs. His father actually thought that me and John were going to get married yoneach other which I felt was hysterical.... if he only knew the poor man. I have to say it was a hard situation for all of us to live through but it was hard for the two of them to quote on quote come out of the closet right away. This might be something that you're struggling with too as well. The only thing I can say to you regarding any type of advice would be for you to be true to who you are meaning your true self and identity. Those who really truly love you unconditionally will continue to be there for you. The others no matter if they are family or friends don't matter if they don't support you. I hope this helps you somewhat. Wishing you peace and well-being.

[Aguila1794 in reply to Cookie2217]

Thank you very much for your nice story. I simply wish God had made me straight or made it clear to me why I’m not. I’m reading a book by the way that’s supposed to help me make some sliver of sense out of this. Peace be with you.

[Cookie2217 in reply to Aguila1794]

Your so welcome. I'm glad your reading that book and hoping it gives you some clarification of what your seeking. My friends, John and Steve Z. both dated women until they were in their 30s. Neither one could come to terms with the fact that they liked or loved men and not women I believe and tried so hard to deny to themselves who they really were inside. They have now been together for the past 26 years and have made a great life for themselves. They both came to me after our blowout and apologized to me for going together behind my back and asked if I would forgive them. I did. My husband and I traveled to Naples just two short years ago and spent a beautiful vacation at their home for a week. Everyone had an amazing time. It is in forgiving others or one's self that we release the pain and anguish and break our chains of bondage. Hope this helps you too my young friend. ❤️