Little introduction of me

[Mrgunner]

Hi. my name is Laura and I live in a very rural state Vermont. It is so beautiful but I am very lonely and needing some support since Vermont is isolating. I am looking to join a group of like mind people who are struggling just like me. I have very little family around and my childhood was very abusive. I get so depressed and feel alone. I have been married for 30 years but our marriage is very strained. I really could use a few friends. I have been diagnosed with many health conditions going back decades. Most recently with Lupus and Sjorgens. I do also have fibromyalgia and debilitating fatigue and all over body pain. I would love to join your support group. Thank you so much.

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(1) Mrgunner's profile on HealthUnlocked

[CecilyParsley]

Hi Laura and welcome. You will find thus group so supportive. Many of us living in urban areas can be very isolated because of our health too. I am married and until I got a carer who has become a wonderful friend I was completely socially isolated. Ill health puts a huge strain on relationships. I am so very sorry that you are going through such a difficult time. You will find information, support, humour and friendship here xx

[Maycontainnuts]

hi Laura and a big virtual welcome hug. My heart goes out to you. I know the pain of isolation and loneliness and the uphill struggle against depression. As if it wasn’t hard enough coping with multiple health conditions, doing it alone adds another dimension. Thank heaven for the internet, for all its ills it makes it possible to connect with distant friends and online communities. I live alone and have no children and am unemployed through ill health so have plenty of free time to overthink myself into a downward spiral. Personally I’m not into social media but I do use the internet a lot to access free courses to redirect my thinking into something more productive. I used to do everything for its end-result but these days I do things for the process, eg I can’t draw but will do a drawing class then chuck the paper in the bin afterwards - I’ve learned that just the act of putting pencil to paper and focusing on trying to copy an image gives my brain a break from its usual thinking patterns. I’ve also done online CBT courses to learn how to challenge my distorted thinking patterns. Fatigue and pain are massive motivation killers for me but my priority is to keep depression at bay because once that takes hold I’m sunk. Even though it feels like it sometimes, we are not alone in our struggles. I’m sad to know you’re feeling so low, there is a wealth of knowledge and experience here, I hope you find comfort and support too. Sending love x

[MrsMarigold]

Hello MGunner. I think many of us to most have been as low as you are. I’m sorry your marriage is strained. Chronic illnesses are difficult for our partners to understand. For me it’s a continual update “this is the way I am now.” Ouch. Having him come to most of my appointments has been helpful. My childhood and early adulthood was very abusive. Counseling and growing faith has become a rock. Most friends will not understand that part of you it’s like compounding the isolation that you feel now. Vermont is lovely. And for a small state there is a lot of physical activity with skiing and hiking and more. Are you able to participate at all? My fatigue has changed my life. My activities are quiet ones. Writing reading sewing knitting painting. I’m not expecting perfection with these new activities. I just do them and enjoy it. I also have become a very sloppy person. I went from clean freak to clothes on the floor and dishes soaking in strong soap Funny thing is I rather like it! What a waste of time trying to have order in every corner. I do have a cleaner once a week; and I’m glad for it as scrubbing a bathtub might send me to bed. Well I’ve laid out some real weaknesses for you. No shame no guilt no embarrassment no excuses no pity party. You too will get there. You really will be okay. And people here will listen 🌼🌼MM