Feeling unemployable: I’m trying to... - Fibromyalgia Acti...

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Feeling unemployable

Gulfstream_Maggie profile image

I’m trying to find a new job, applying all over the place but having a lot of “thanks but no thanks”.

Starting to feel very old, tired and unwanted.

I do declare fibro on my application but starting to think I should ‘hide’ it. I know it could be classed as discrimination if I’m being passed over due to that but it’s proving it

I don’t have the energy too try and prove that!

I’m sooooo tired and feeling down 😞

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Gulfstream_Maggie profile image
Gulfstream_Maggie
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17 Replies
Smilesalot profile image
Smilesalot

Hi Gulfstream_Maggie,I'm sorry to hear about how you're being treated !mmm it's so wrong.

Hugs to you🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🙏🙏🙃🙃🙃😍😍😍😁. I hope you're day improves Dawn 🤗

Debsdelight72 profile image
Debsdelight72

That's not fair, Don't feel down please, Gulfstream _Maggie,

It's them who are missing out, You have the upper hand because you have experience, I would be cautious If you leave out you have fibro, What if you had a flare at work? Or you can't get out of bed for a shift? I think it depends on what type of work you'r looking at,

The other thing is, If you had an accident at work weather it's Fibro related or not, If you are hurt and have to have time off or in the future you have to make a claim?

You will not be insured and If they find out you didn't declare it? A whole heap of trouble comes your way, Of course it's your choice, If you need to claim benefits you'll want to know what's available, If you have a partner It's a whole different ball game

I hope you find the right job for you,Take it steady and take care and try not to get upset or stressed,

(((((hugs)))))

Debs

Gulfstream_Maggie profile image
Gulfstream_Maggie in reply to Debsdelight72

Hi Debs

Yes I do have a partner but he’s actually hitting retirement age this August. I’m still working age for about another 9 1/2 years 😳 health permitting!

I’m always open about my having fibro event though fairly mild and managed. I’ll continue to do so even though it may be detrimental to any possible employment because it’s the right thing to do. I find it impossible to be any other way than downright honest - always have been, right from being a kid.

Couldn’t even tell an untruth over the phone without turning beetroot 😂

Trying to get back into either admin or customer service as that’s where majority of my skills lie, preferably part time. Positions do seem a little sparse in my area and I don’t want to travel too far afield.

So I’ll just keep looking and applying …..

Debsdelight72 profile image
Debsdelight72 in reply to Gulfstream_Maggie

My Hubby and I were both on the old ESA because our illnesses once Hubs hit pension we had all sorts of grief with those blooming Universal Credit 🤨 My Fibro caused me so much stress so we had to go through everything with a fine tooth comb,I know they have to do their jobs, My GP had to prescribe me a little something to calm down,

There was no need to make us feel 💩 It's not like it's their own money they're handing out,

We never once thought we would have to leave our jobs that we really enjoyed something will turn up I'm sure, I will say a prayer for you and of course what we all need is some gentle (((((hugs))))) 🤗🤗

Smilesalot profile image
Smilesalot in reply to Gulfstream_Maggie

You will get something!!!🤗 ur too awesome not to be noticed by the right place 🤗🤗🤗😍,Ur like me I couldn't lie even as a kid is also turn bright red lol. When my mum had a hair cut by me she asked how she looked and stupid me said like a baked bean. Well she did. I apologise d. Lol.

Good luck Gulfstream_Maggie hugs 🤗🤗🤗🙃😌😌😍🙏💜Dawn

Welshcatlady profile image
Welshcatlady

I'm sorry you feel so down, I know it's disheartening applying for so many jobs and always getting the 'no thanks' reply. I was made redundant at 54 and haven't worked since, I'm 70. I applied and applied for jobs but no luck, so after a while I decided that I wouldn't bother trying anymore after my dole ran out. My husband was working but on a low wage so we were entitled to tax credits which also led to other benefits, so we weren't too bad off. I know benefits have changed since then, so I'm not saying you should give up looking, it's entirely your choice, but try not to be sad over the rejections.

As for telling future employers that you have Fibromyalgia, I think you should, for the reasons Debsdelight72 mentioned.

Sending gentle hugs 🤗 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

Gulfstream_Maggie profile image
Gulfstream_Maggie in reply to Welshcatlady

Thanks for the support. To be honest me trying to keep that little nugget of personal info secret is a non-starter really.

I’m always honest, sometimes too honest for my own good, but I’ve never been any different. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

I’ll just have to keep on trying

Welshcatlady profile image
Welshcatlady in reply to Gulfstream_Maggie

I'm sure you will find something soon. 😊

AllthatGlitters profile image
AllthatGlitters

Hello, I have often felt this way too, I have applied for around 90 jobs and have only recently secured one. It was hard work, tiring, disheartening.

On applications I always declared that I had a “disability” as I have multiple conditions. I got interviewed but then I either got a no thanks or just ignored and didn’t even get a yes or no. This enraged me! Why should we be treated like that. In my opinion lots of companies just don’t know how to treat us.

In the job I have secured I declared nothing, applied as a “normal” candidate and it worked. Some employers ask you to complete a medical screening after you have been offered the job, this is where I would then declare my conditions.

Also have you had someone else look at your CV? I have written mine 3 times to finally get it right.

X

Fozzy81 profile image
Fozzy81

unfortunately it s how it is, I’ve experienced the same , my story is I had bacterial meningitis with sepsis which led to a bunch of complications then led to fibro, before was working full time in care . Couldn’t do the job anymore . So was applying for every job I saw and was turned down, which became very disheartening, i didn’t want to start on benefits as it’s hard to live on that sort of money , so I set up my own business, it’s relatively new so do get help from the job centre at the moment, it means that when I have bad days I can skip a day without worry of being sacked

tinychantel profile image
tinychantel

Hi Maggie

Try applying for jobs in your local NHS Trust they're required by law to give interviews to anyone suitable for the roles advertised especially if they have disclosed a disability whether visible or invisible.

They're also required to make reasonable adjustments not only for your interview but if successful for your job role.

I wish you all the best & please know you're not walking this path alone. I was in the same position as you earlier this year.

Take care

Laupecyndi profile image
Laupecyndi

Hey lovely, I'm sorry you're not having luck with jobs. I will be honest, when I applied for jobs, I didn't disclose Fybro but it was manageable and I carried on regardless. However 8 years later,I have had to come clean, and tell my employers I have had it since when I started working. The good side is they can't.use.it against me because I never went off sick and coped with the pain, just getting through days. I just feel, if I had disclosed, maybe they wouldn't have.given me the job.

Even.now, I'm on edge, they could.ask me to take voluntary redundancy. But then I'm.back to.square 1 and How.will i get a job if I disclose it?

I'm sorry I'm not much help, but.just reassuring you that you are not alone in this fight. You have the Fybro family on your side.

Someone will advise us here.

Ontherun81 profile image
Ontherun81

Hiya

Been there done that....my advice is don't put it down. Unless you feel it would significantly affect the role your aiming for, then leave it out. Plus work on applications to make them stand out. I've sifted hundreds over the years all with same phrases that you might think make you stand out! Things like punctual, trustworthy etc, try re wording what qualities you can bring to a role, incorporate wording from job description. Sell yourself to a role. I never agree with why a company needs to know your age if ageism doesn't exist! The monitoring forms do not just stay with HR. I've been asked so many times when asked to attend an interview 'Can I ask how old you are?' I just replied that my experience and qualities I could bring to the role are more important! Ageism does exist, but don't be put off applying. It's drawing to form fill and skip through hoops but when the time is right you'll get a job that's meant be.

Chin up, Good Luck🍀

Dinkie profile image
Dinkie

It's hard I know. I am fortunate in that I have an understanding employer. In our area we have something called Balance Employment Support, they are specialists in supporting those finding it difficult to maintain or obtain employment. Maybe there is something similar in your area. I have used their services in the past to help me maintain my employment status. Worth investigating in your area either through the local health trust or any CBT services to find out if there is something you can access to help. Good luck, don't give up there is something out there for you.

Puptours profile image
Puptours

I've just started a new job this week and never mentioned anything about my fibro &/or anxiety.

KaliAka profile image
KaliAka

Maggie sorry to hear this.Don't give up, your job us out there thinks positively, keep going .Look at revamping your CV. Some recruitment use technology to pick out works in CV's,ensure you have key words within CV. Set yourself small goals .

Revamp CV

Choose a set amount of jobs to apply for each day .

Ignore the negative feedback, look at it in a positive way.At least they came back which is curious.

It will happen, believe in yourself.

Mandie Evans- Life coaching, Fibromyalgia, weight loss, meating your goals - mandieevans@outlook.com

KaliAka profile image
KaliAka

**Courteous

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