house help with fibro worth it? - Fibromyalgia Acti...

Fibromyalgia Action UK

59,550 members66,618 posts

house help with fibro worth it?

k77a profile image
k77a
15 Replies

Hi i wanted to get yours feedback,if hiring a cleaner. has been worthit ??

Im a little anxious, about having strangers in my house and im aware aware no one is going to clean my house exactly as l do,but the fatigue.

I live alone so no one to be bothered,by the unwashed dishes.

Written by
k77a profile image
k77a
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
15 Replies
Hazel_Angelstar profile image
Hazel_AngelstarAdministratorFMA UK Staff

If having someone in to help allows you to have energy to do some things you enjoy, or less pain etc - then I personally would see it as belt worth it

Don't have a cleaner, but we do have someone come in once a month to help with weeding /tidying up garden, and it's worth every penny xxx

Jaykaydylanmack profile image
Jaykaydylanmack

Hi there K77a,Well we have had a an absolutely amazing polish lady, she's a bit older than I am and I'm 42, but she's nothing short of amazing and I honestly wouldn't know where we would be without her now, she's been with us for over a 1 year now and she comes every second Wednesday as that works well with her actual full time job, so we have her twice a month.

To start off with when we started I felt emotions like the trust issues you feel, the feeling of not feeling entirely at ease with letting someone else in your house, I also felt a feeling of failure as it was another stage I was at with the conditions I have that meant I couldn't do the housework that I've always managed to do and at such a moderately young age too.

At the start we had very strict and good guidelines and even now we still do, but she does a hell of alot more now than she did when we took her on, for example, at the start, she was only asked to do the deep cleaning in both of bathrooms, well one bathroom and one small WC, and then the kitchen deep cleaning, upstairs she was very kindly asked not to do any of the bedrooms as we could manage them as also there might be people sleeping in them and that was our personal space, she was fine with this.

Just her doing that alone helped us as a family more than I can ever tell you. But now that she's into her wee routine and she's been with us so long now, shes on top of the deep cleaning as she cleans every 2 weeks so it's easier on her now than it was to start with, she now does our lounge area too, like dusting, hoovering, windows, TV unit, any ornaments, dusting of lights etc and now she vacuums our top hall area still not entering any bedrooms and she continues down our stair case, hoovering and dusting, wiping the skirting boards etc down to the bottom hall then she steam mops the full downstairs.

We are so very grateful to her for the help and all her hard work that she has given us through such a difficult time as it's been for our family.

From our experience and I do hope you go on to have the same! I would say go for it now, honestly it will help you so so much and you will begin to feel better in your head because you know things that need done are getting done and it's not piling up on you and causing you more stress.

The only thing I would say is, look for a good housekeeper, for example good references etc,

Our wee lady actually works in the local David Lloyd leisure club so that helped us feel at ease because her references were really secure and reliable.

Good luck, I hope my view on things might help you reach the right decision for you and please let us know how you get on.

All my love LC xxxx

k77a profile image
k77a in reply to Jaykaydylanmack

Thank you for taking the time. to reply so sensitivley & caring. Im kind of still talking myself in to it.I've already made a few calls, prices are doable, will defo ask for references & hopefully once l see thr improvement l can take it from there.

Best wishes 🌼

cheylou profile image
cheylou

I hired a couple of women who it was recommended. Now wish I never did. They stole all my important stuff. I would be very very careful on hiring anybody.

k77a profile image
k77a in reply to cheylou

Omg did you phone the police?? Thats terrible what happened to you

Blearyeyed profile image
Blearyeyed

Based on my best friends change in mental health and energy I would say getting a cleaner is a big , fat YES!

I plan to get one myself .

My friend has been feeling depressed about the state of her house , as do I occasionally , as neither of us can do more than the basics and even with the best will in the world it begins to add to Fibro pain when you need to nag at your partner or grown up family to move things off the floor , clean up or put stuff away .

Both of us had been trying having one of our adult children doing a big clean once a week but , even with the money given to them , family can be very unreliable in turning up or constantly ask to change the day or time , thinking that it's acceptable as it is their Mum they are asking. It becomes a product of anxiety in itself.

My friend was planning to move house , that's how sick of it she was. To help in the move , she finally got a cleaner. She didn't end up with a stranger which also helps. Her cleaner is an old school friend of her daughters who offered to add her to her cleaning books. The girl is a force of nature and reaches corners of my friends walls and cupboards that haven't seen a scrub in years because of my friends fatigue and mobility issues. I plan to get her in starting September too and can't wait to feel as good as my friend.

My friend is so happy with the change she is taking her house off the market.

She is not just in less Fatigue and Pain because she has stopped struggling to do jobs she finds hard to do , as, she had stopped those years ago. She has more energy and less pain because she isn't suffering from the stress and low mood caused by being surrounded by jobs she can see but can't do and daily mess that gets under foot and helps to flare her Fibro.

I suggest that you go for it , but , either find a friend of a friend , or family member , that already works as a cleaner or carer who can do a months trial for you first. Or get some advice from your Community and find the name of a cleaner whom has references and is already recommended by others.

If none of those options work you can have more confidence using a cleaner from a company or one whom advertises but has excellent references that you can easily check.

Set reasonable hours for the amount of work you want them to do and discuss the different jobs you want done in each room first so that they know what you need and your standards. Including things like , how you want certain ornaments cleaned and that you want skirting dusted or tumble drier defluffed.

Getting an extra hour once a month to do jobs like cleaning windows and ledges or other jobs you don't do weekly is a good idea.

If you want washing or ironing done you arrange payment for that separately as they usually take the clothes home to iron and bring the neat pile back. Although , ironing is one of those things that can sensibly go by , by when life has bigger priorities.

If you choose a family member make sure you have a proper contract , and it's usually better having a niece or nephew or cousin etc. than direct family unless your son / daughter / grandchild have a real love if the job.

k77a profile image
k77a in reply to Blearyeyed

Yep lve tried a family member, brother it was ok, when he turned up although l was still helping with the cleaning, he asking Questions about where cleaning products are etc.l found that draining & still required me showing him etc so not sure with professional cleaner & the one company l called said they didbt use bleach which makes me think its a waste of time for bathroom, toilet & kitchen & all they could do is hoover living room....

Blearyeyed profile image
Blearyeyed in reply to k77a

Definitely try asking for recommendations from friends , family and locals. These extended friend groups will probably know someone whom has a great cleaner and is looking for extra work. Get them over for a coffee and chat through what you want done and when is best for both of you. Tell them about your Fibro too , and how needing to have someone to help or having someone new in the house will be quite draining for you at first .It will help them to be more understanding and conscientious and considerate about certain requests you might need to ask, like being quieter or using certain cleaning products. It also helps them to understand if there are days when you might need to alter their time or day of work like when are ill and can't cope with having someone cleaning in the house.

fmlife profile image
fmlife

would a electric dishwasher help? they have counter top ones that can fill with a jug of water rather than plumb in, A dishwasher for me has save standing and washing up time, there is always the emptying exorcise.I do know a little bit and often is better than a huge clean up.

Midori profile image
Midori

I'm like you, Hate having strangers in the house, Still getting over having the Smart meter installed on the 2nd.

Yet I can't do it all myself. Decisions, Decisions!

You will need to decide how much you want done against what you can do yourself. Putting up with other folks ideas of where to put stuff is my biggest bugbear!

Cheers, Midori

k77a profile image
k77a in reply to Midori

Yes. Its the mental aspect, of it putting up with how others do things.My dad has a cleaner, etc & even with her how she does stuff, find it mentally stressful/draining.And shes been with him for around 10 years! And I know she is doing her best, shes only human. Im thinking if l plan my weeks, time better l may just check in to a spa/ massage as my reward treat & manage the house work myself hmmmm

Westiebabe profile image
Westiebabe

I was the same but eventually got cleaners in. They were recommended by my son who has them every week. So first off I felt guilty that I couldn’t do it myself but then after they’ve been coming for a few weeks they’ve become like friends. Both my son and daughter have cleaners so couldn’t ask them to help. They encouraged me not to feel guilty lots of their generation have cleaners as they work and want to spend their free time with families, which made me wonder why I felt guilty! I want to spend my time doing stuff I like not wearing myself out cleaning. I didn’t want to get anyone I know as then I’d feel awful if I had to stop them coming! No family no friends just kept it business like. My son just gives them a key if their out but I’m not there yet. Now I’m so pleased I did it . They do in an hour what would take me days. My free time is spent on doing what I want . Didn’t take me long to not feel guilty I can tell you wish I’d done it years ago . You do it and then enjoy the time it gives you back to do what you want hope this helps .

Wobblygirl profile image
Wobblygirl

Well worth it!I have a clean home every fortnight and the difference it makes to my sense of well being is enormous!!!

I started with deep clean of bathroom and kitchen and then gradually increase one room at a time so they can understand what needs to be done with you overseeing...

Eventually you'll feel confident enough to let them do your rooms independent of you.

I hated people coming in and I was so ashamed too.

Make sure that yr cleaner is not judgemental and explain yr illness to them.

PS I still tidy b4 cleaner comes but it's good motivation for me and I have become so much tidier since their arrival!

I always send a msg of thanks later in week too to explain how precious their support is...

Try a month and then make a decision right for both of you.

Good luck!

k77a profile image
k77a in reply to Wobblygirl

I eventually forced myself to do house yesterday. I swept the rooms, before going down on all fours, with the hoover suction. I find it stays cleaner, for longer.

It took 4 hours. I dont think l can expect a paid cleaner, to do all that. In a few days ill give it a ten minute sweep with dustpan & brush.....

I think im just going to rota. To do ten mins cleaning a day & handle it my self .

I never mentioned im a perfectionist...😖

Wobblygirl profile image
Wobblygirl in reply to k77a

That's a good plan if you can manage it?I cannot hoover at all (or scrub or polish because my arms are so weak) so a cleaner to help is a godsend for me!!

You may also like...

Fibro and more ~ is it worth applying for Pip?

should have appealed as most of the feedback was not what I said but I genuinely did not have the...

Sheltered housing misery and fibro

bills and to live on. I should have been retiring this year but now the government have moved the...

Help with fibro and headaches

holiday to spain , lovely weather and i have never felt so well, bot one headache no aches and...

help with fibro problem and work

hi I’ve had fibro for about five years now, I’m on anti depressants at night and during the day for...

Help: Fibro or long covid?

still have some sporadic cough and tight chest. But the most annoying thing is the extreme fatigue...