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Fibromyalgia Action UK

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Contacted by an admin - our method of editing a post

desquinn profile image
desquinnPartnerVolunteerFMAUK Trustee
16 Replies

This follows this post here:healthunlocked.com/fibromya...

The mod team will always work to implement the rules that we have for the forum irrespective of our own views and when we think we may have some bias we will open it to the rest of the team for discussion. We do not allow discussion of political or religious issues to avoid arguments about things that are not on topic for fibro. Political issues can intersect so this can be value judgement.

When we reach out to say your post is in the wrong, we often / very frequently get a response of:

# You’re censoring me

# You’re censoring my view as you disagree with it and have the opposite political view

# You’re judge, jury..., are on a power trip, don't like me, have always had it in for me etc

# You’re working for bad pharma because that treatment works and you’re in someone's pocket, part of a big conspiracy etc

# Your stats from reputable sources are just opinions and my mate from down the pub said..... so, you are wrong and refer to above

Below is an example of a message received a while ago that while is not something we frequently receive, it is typical of someone deciding to shoot the messenger. That messenger is often me as I will address these issues to avoid the rest of the team having to. I have been managing forums and communities for a long while and have pretty much all the insults thrown at me and seem some crazy things :) But once the team or the charity agree the rules then the team enforce the rules for the good of the forum even if they agree personally with the opinion being offered.

We are all volunteers and do not need to do this but want to do it to help others and move the conversation forward.

----

"Unfortunately people like you it’s what’s wrong with the system the ones who cover up the truth to suit their agenda

You’re a pathetic human being and sad I do hope you find comfort in supporting corruption

What a pathetic human being you are"

This post is not for sympathy but hopefully it can be a reference point that people can be pointed to when they are "in the moment" and lashing out at the messenger.

PS. Forgot to add that you may disagree with a rule set by HealthUnlocked and we can do nothing to change those. However, our own forum rules are set for the benefit of the group. From time to time they will change but if you disagree with a rule please reach out as that rule will have a history behind it. Like our rule on language evolved due to the forum being targeted by trolls and was needed to allow the team to manage the situation. There will be a background to every one of the rules and a reasonable approach taken when setting and implementing it.

For example we allow links on here when none were allowed in the past. But on our Facebook support group links to external sites are not allowed. This is a result of the underlying sites moderation tools, the team’s ability to manage, and the number of users. Different rules for different sites due to different circumstances.

PPS. Posts seldom get people into major bother with the team. It is almost always the reaction like above that causes issues and then an unwillingness to be reasonable. This is when the team member or the team becomes the target of abuse which will end up with people being removed which we do not like to do.

Thanks for reading.

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desquinn profile image
desquinn
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16 Replies
honeybug profile image
honeybug

I am soooooooo very sorry that you/the team have such heartless statements thrown at you I’m very grateful and blessed to have found this HU Forum when I did. I have had some nasty encounters myself (the last one with cursing 🤬 language which I didn’t report due to the young lady being traumatized and releasing on me. She misunderstood me as I’m still learning about word and phrasing opposites between our Nations.

Once again you have my empathy and deepest respect for making this Forum available to all; hopefully in the future all members will follow protocol.

Respectfully EJ

🤗♥️🥰🙏🕊🌿🌸🦋

desquinn profile image
desquinnPartnerVolunteerFMAUK Trustee in reply to honeybug

thank you. The response I put in above was very much in the minority but not isolated by any means. People react badly unfortunately. Most interactions are much better but hopefully this post like others can explain that when we are reaching out that we are enforcing the rules and it is not personal.

It is time consuming to respond to these sort of posts and to then explain after the fact but we do take the time to engage and be as transparent as we can.

Dinkie profile image
Dinkie in reply to desquinn

I echo honeybug’s reply. Some folk are for whatever reason unable to admit to making an error and so resort to insults. Pity that the word sorry is so difficult for some to say.

Elaine200756 profile image
Elaine200756

Des, thank you for all that you and the team do for all of us 🤗

Midori profile image
Midori

I do sometimes ask for clarification of a point, but I wouldn't attack you for not giving the answer I wanted to hear.

What really bugs me is that I've been on HU for years, and recently been getting trolled on one Forum, and I get slapped down, but never get an explanation of why, or a chance of being able to explain or apologise.

The old 'don't do it again!', when I don't know what I've done wrong. 'Do What?'

Cheers, midori

desquinn profile image
desquinnPartnerVolunteerFMAUK Trustee in reply to Midori

I do always try to explain our reasoning when ever we contact someone which of course is not you on here :) I have been in your same position on other forums and it is frustrating.

This post and ones like it are to try and address that sort of thing by giving others the opportunity to see how we do things.

Dizzytwo profile image
DizzytwoModerator in reply to Midori

Yes I know the feeling 😂 🤗🤗

Midori profile image
Midori

I agree wholeheartedly with you, Des, Frustrating is right!

Cheers, Midori

Wobblygirl profile image
Wobblygirl

Thank you for all the work you and your team do behind the scenes...It's been such a delight to find this particular forum where folk are helpful and understanding. So, so understanding!

I had never ever thought abt folk being abusive on here and that's just horrendous! For all those who have been I'm amazed you continue...

Let me just reiterate how thoughtful people have been on here. Slightly different viewpoints maybe, at times, as I'm not into the drug route but you listen+try and understand their views from their history, support available, pain issues and finding solutions en route... We're all so different on our fibro journeys but we can all empathise and try to understand when people explain their personal scenario...

With grateful thanks Wxx

CM1EDSUK profile image
CM1EDSUK

Being a member of a small group on another disability forum, that has been giving our ideas & feedback on house rules & moderation to their Admin recently, made me appreciate just how difficult moderation can be (& the abuse they also receive on occasion).

One of the things we were all completely agreed upon was that transparency matters, which I'm very pleased to see is the same here, that, & clear rules.

So, I'm adding my thanks due to the insight I now have about moderation (& its complexities!)

desquinn profile image
desquinnPartnerVolunteerFMAUK Trustee in reply to CM1EDSUK

ty for the kind comments. And we will take any feedback on board and change things as well.

KimiJay profile image
KimiJay

Thanks for this email. Quite shocked by all the 'You messages' you received from this post seven months ago. Horrible! It can't feel good when you are running the site specifically to help people. - Hoping to post about eye probs in the New Year when I get time to work out how to do it. Am an amateur writer so will be studying how to make and edit an understandable post. - Have a Good Christmas and 2023. Jo

Dizzytwo profile image
DizzytwoModerator in reply to KimiJay

Hi there Jo, thank you for refreshing this post. Please if you need any help posting please just ask. I am not the most PC savvy person on the planet lol But if I can help I will and if I can't I know a man who can 😉

Momo

KimiJay profile image
KimiJay in reply to Dizzytwo

Thanks. I live with two techy men but this site feels like my private space and I would like to figure it out for myself. I will write in notebook first what I want to say but I am just learning how to do that! Then I will cut and paste.

desquinn profile image
desquinnPartnerVolunteerFMAUK Trustee in reply to KimiJay

Thank you for your comments. There has been more since then and it is something you need to put into perspective if you are to be a part of the mod team. If we are administering the rules and making decisions on what is right or wrong then there will people that shoot the messenger. In these heated moments there is not much time for self reflection unfortunately.

We will not always be right and our team does perform critiques on others decisions and disagree but the decisions made in the moment are without malice. The current team has a good bit of experience which tells its own story.

KimiJay profile image
KimiJay

People are the same sometimes on our local Nextdoor site. Hopefully it is a learning experience and also people contributing can feel safe. - Thanks again. Jo

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