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Very worried and in fear

Gracey888 profile image
23 Replies

How do I know if it’s silent reflux/ heartburn/panic attack or the darn “thing”. Unwell and funky things happening since mid March. I’m now on anti biotics as sore throat and inner ears and precautionary in case it’s strep (1st dose has made me feel sick and acidy). Friday changed my lanzoprazole for esomeprozole to help heal things (but so far it’s not done much / they say It’ll take longer). I’ve coughed and coughed to point of retching. Paramedics three nights in a row back mid March then as couldn’t breath, tight chest, tight body, asthma symptoms (I get it mildly - peak flow was a little lower but not much - used my Ventolin a few times). I was also slightly warm 37.7. Each time told it was just a panic attack (the first time they took me into hospital for tests for heart and DVT and all normal). Had a 4th paramedic out 9 days ago and again they weren’t to concerned but for me it’s horrific to experience the tightness and feeling of shallow breathing and choking feeling. Im scared to sleep, although I do, because I awake to not being able to catch my breath and panic. My body / mind now can’t unwind the cog of fear and stays in rolling panic for hours. I’m experiencing all sorts of other unpleasant awful symptoms from tight chest, burning up my gullet, funny headaches, insomnia, metal taste. I’m in touch with my GP weekly and she says if I’ve had it then this unfortunately is the after bit. I just want to feel better and even when I try relaxation things it’s such an effort to calm down. I ended up calling 999 again today as the discomfort and chest pain and panic got too much. The handler just shouted at me and my kids saying it’s just a panic attack and calm down. We though he’d sent an ambulance, but I called back 5 minutes later to cancel feeling guilty and didn’t want to waste time. They said that someone would have been calling to get a further assessment . I cancelled that, but had I known that was happening instead of paramedics then I might have been helpful - the second handler said the first handler should have explained the process. Back to sitting at home with kids in a state. Everything I feel just ramps up at the slightest hint of fear or worry. I’m not even sure I should be posting as talk of the “thing” triggers me terribly and I’m back in severe panic. Im wrecked, in pain everywhere from being tight and I’m so scared.

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Gracey888
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23 Replies
Entela15 profile image
Entela15

Seems like you're having panic attacks. Are you taking anything for them? I've had panic attacks in the past and I was convinced I was dying. Once I even ended up in A and E. Can you ring your GP to give you something for your panic?

Gracey888 profile image
Gracey888 in reply to Entela15

They gave me mirtazipine, but I’ve been worried to take it as it’s a sedative and I don’t think I can cope if I wake up having the breathing thing.

Mrspainting48 profile image
Mrspainting48 in reply to Gracey888

Sorry to hear what your going through and yes its horrible when its happening ...I went through it like you scared and untrusting ......fearing i would die and leave my kids....

The fact that all your tests came back ok..for me made it harder to understand why.....

I got over it but only you can do it.

I had great help...a small easily read book suggested by a medic....

"Self Help For Your Nerves" by a Doctor Claire Weeks...

She hits it on the head perfectly.

The first time i did as she suggested I was alone and scared...but desperate.

When the pains hit me and the fear gripped me and i could not breath.

I looked this Panic in the eye and said " Is this it...Is this all you can do"

From that second on things got easier.

Over a few weeks following Doctor Weeks advice the fear part subsided my beathing became normal the pain reduced......

Now I get the pains but i dont fear them and if i get a pain thats new I see my Doctor who explains it and i can put it into perspective....

Nerves are a necessary evil .

But that little book in simple terms tells you how to help yourself..

Its still in print......

I know it can help you...

Good luck. And much love for a brighter future.

uggycat profile image
uggycat

Dear Gracey, I feel so much for you, as I can realate, was in a mental health unit just before Christmas for a few days, because of similar feelings. One thing was pointed out to me when we have these bad illnesses, it can go hand in hand with mental illness. so get a double dose of illness. l hope you can get the help you need, for whatever it is. And you should push for what ever help you can get. Thinking of you xx

Gracey888 profile image
Gracey888 in reply to uggycat

I hope your feeling better now? Yes it all seems to have come at once and it’s hard get on top of it. I just want some equilibrium some how, some way. Thank you for your reply. Xx

I have same problems. They put me on antipsychotic and it royally messed up my guts. I have pelvic issues from multiple surgeries so had to take laxatives all the time. I was going through burn out from recovering from surgery and my life as it wasn’t caught early. Then helped my dad through cancer no support in burn out.

I’m on tummy meds too they’re awful make you feel like crap gassy and bloated horrid bowel habits. I need to quit cigs I don’t smoke much. Max 5 a day. I find the tummy meds give you anxiety it made mine 40% worse honestly but I have to take them now. If the acid is so bad the mertazapine may make it worse you may need lesser dose in order to tolerate it. Ativan on the other hand very helpful.

Take probiotics twice a day strong ones. In morning chug two glasses cold water with your tummy med. buy some slippery elm & marshmallow root it helps heal tummy lining. Take that away from your meds two hours. Do it twice a day. Lay on your tummy legs dangling from the bed arms bent like cobra just kinda rock your torso and breathe. Raise your bed or sleep on incline. Take gavascon before bed. Do breathing exercises no eating 3 hrs before bed no heavy drinking water before bed. No fats not sweets no harsh foods should be soft but ensure you have fibre if you take it otc buy a low FODMAP one and start slowly because it’s hard on you at first. If you can handle the mirtazapine you’re golden as it will help regulate you. I’m too inflamed from trying. Ativan saves my bacon. I also use a nasal rinse every day and steroid nasal spray. All this started from meds for me. It’s been rough try to keep busy and keep track of foods. You really have to stay away from chocolate coffee dairy if it’s that bad fats aren’t your friend. Try the supplements I suggested I don’t know where I’d be without them. And get your mind in order best you can to tackle to day to get out of this hell I know how awful it is. If you take any sedative eat. Meds upset tummies. Give yourself permission to let go and know you’re ok and come in here to vent. You can do this. I hope the sedative works.

Gracey888 profile image
Gracey888 in reply to

Sounds like you’ve been through the mill. Thank you for your detailed reply. I was taking a probiotic but ran out! I’ll see if I can get some more. Not sure they survive anti biotics though and the ones that do are not good with illness. I’ll phone the pharmacy that I get them from for advice tomorrow. What way do I get the slippery elm and Marshmallow, is it tablets or powders? Can’t get my head around what to get. I can’t tolerate Gaviscon or anything like that right now. I had a weird reaction on Saturday the double strength chew ones. It freaked me out. Doing several breathing exercises the last few weeks but for some reason they’ve become very hard the last two days and that’s what’s scared me to the max. No relief from chest breathing and pain all over all day. I’ve been doing sorta FODMAP / alkaline foods as everything irritates. Had asparagus, rice and plain chicken (tiny bit of chicken stock for flavour) right here right now. Love my food but hardly eaten these last weeks, eating can be painful - possibly the little teeny bit of stock or eating to fast just now and arghhhh ouch in my chest - it’s possible I have hiatal hernia or gastritis who knows (no one can check these things fully). I’m down 10lbs. I’m worried the mirtazapine isn’t god for the acid as it relaxes the LES. Not heard of Ativan? I’ve reached out to a local hypnotherapist and had a consultation today. He’s offered a very reasonable session soon to see if we can switch down the fibro pain and the panic. I don’t know what else to do, I’m on you tube till early hours watching all sorts of health and calming videos to bring the panic down and sleep a tiny bit!

in reply to Gracey888

I have same exact issues. You can get them in powders or capsules. It may be you feel weird on them and your stool is different but it acts as emulsifier which protects the lining. What you need to heal. Take the probiotics anyways anytime you’re in antibiotics you need them to at least get some in your system. Try to take them away from antibiotics. The antibiotics are giving you major grief that will settle once they’re done that’s why you’re really struggling.

I struggle with same foods. I’m forcing plain chicken down my throat and cooked kale sometimes rice I eat sourdough toast an egg every other day for protein smoothie no dairy in it for lunch with spinach fruit in it and a green powder mix of vegetables so forth & ground chia. Then toast.

Gracey888 profile image
Gracey888 in reply to

I have to be careful with smoothies. Had one the other morning and it made me really sick. I realised it was too cold and icy. No no no with the reflux. I do them dairy free too but need to be room temp! I have a green powder, but I cannot do chia Oooffffff!!! I’m limited what fruit I can tolerate, but it’d be good to get in some spinach. May be smoothies might be a better way again to get some nutrients in. Just scared as everything makes me feel sick.

Yeah only had one anti biotic so far and now on top of nausea from the reflux now the pills too. It’s horrible. Scared for the next dose later. Urgghhhhh.

in reply to Gracey888

You’re going to feel like the worst in the antibiotics. You should only eat cooked foods. If you try smoothie again do it with cooked spinach or cooked kale. These might be too harsh all the sugary fruit but try banana though high in sugar good potassium. Another thing you can try is eating cereal softened as it’s fortified with vitamins. Try using an oats milk or rice milk. Don’t do the almond or soya. I know I’m in same boat had it getting sorted then stress from laxatives use and trying hard meds. I would be very careful about mixing a mertazapine in that hot mess with antibiotics involved. Maybe stick to cooked spinach kale oatmeal for breakfast I use ground chia if you can’t handle it you prob have gastritis I do it anyways small doses in foods for the nutrients. Keep on the water I didn’t drink enough today. Do you have hpylorri is that why you’re on antibiotics? Remember if you take the supplements take two hours away from them ok. If toast is what you can eat and cooked kale spinach do that. Try to sneak in the chicken no skin no oils try to esp not eat carbs close to bed time. It’s worse. And I find chewing gum helps.

Oshgosh profile image
Oshgosh in reply to Gracey888

You need to make sure you eat something you like. Food helps your tablets work better. I take my Lanzanzaprole first thing in the morning.it takes a few doses to build up n your system.

The Mirtazipine will help,the first time you take it do so in bed ,then if you feel a bit dizzy,you will be lying down.

I really hope the hypnotherapist will be able to help you.

Please ear something,it will help with your meds.

Take. Care.

lootsvj profile image
lootsvj in reply to

Hi are you taking a pro-biotic with this..you should..

Gracey888 profile image
Gracey888

Sounds like you’ve been through the mill. Thank you for your detailed reply. I was taking a probiotic but ran out! I’ll see if I can get some more. Not sure they survive anti biotics though and the ones that do are not good with illness. I’ll phone the pharmacy that I get them from for advice tomorrow. What way do I get the slippery elm and Marshmallow, is it tablets or powders? Can’t get my head around what to get. I can’t tolerate Gaviscon or anything like that right now. I had a weird reaction on Saturday the double strength chew ones. It freaked me out. Doing several breathing exercises the last few weeks but for some reason they’ve become very hard the last two days and that’s what’s scared me to the max. No relief from chest breathing and pain all over all day. I’ve been doing sorta FODMAP / alkaline foods as everything irritates. Had asparagus, rice and plain chicken (tiny bit of chicken stock for flavour) right here right now. Love my food but hardly eaten these last weeks, eating can be painful - possibly the little teeny bit of stock or eating to fast just now and arghhhh ouch in my chest - it’s possible I have hiatal hernia or gastritis who knows (no one can check these things fully). I’m down 10lbs. I’m worried the mirtazapine isn’t god for the acid as it relaxes the LES. Not heard of Ativan? I’ve reached out to a local hypnotherapist and had a consultation today. He’s offered a very reasonable session soon to see if we can switch down the fibro pain and the panic. I don’t know what else to do, I’m on you tube till early hours watching all sorts of health and calming videos to bring the panic down and sleep a tiny bit!

Cherylvit profile image
Cherylvit

Hi Gracey, my heart goes out to you. 🤗💕😢❤️I know this can be very scary and frustrating. It sounds like you have a lot going on and that makes it hard to tell if it is a flare, the “thing”, panic attacks or just some other bug. Have they every run a test to see if you have the 🦠? Here in the US and even on Web MD they have a questionnaire that you can take which I have answered on several occasions just out of curiosity and having my preexisting conditions it said I needed to get tested or contact my doctor. I just took vitamin C which boosts the immune system and I feel better in a day or 2. Sounds like you have been in contact with your doctor 👩🏻‍⚕️ so you are doing the right things. Practicing the social distancing and washing you hands frequently and wearing a mask 😷 when out will lower your chances of getting it. I know this is hard but what have you been doing your panic attacks? I’m listening to music right now and it is helping my mood. Lifting my spirits. Practicing meditation there are a lot of apps that are offering free access like mind journey or is it live journey. Just go to the App Store or google play depending on what device you are using but do a research for meditations and there is a who wide range of meditation apps like abide, journey, mediate me, insight timer, Mindvalley, simple habit, aura to name a few of what I downloaded. There is also calm radio which is a thing that has 200 channels of relaxing music. You can get 400 channels without commercials but you have to pay 💰 for that. I was disappointed that they aren’t offering the add free service during these times. Oh 2 other meditation apps I forgot to mention is calm and breath. They are both good meditation apps. Listening to upbeat music works just as well as the meditation as far as distracting negative thoughts away and to bring good thoughts around instead. Getting out in the nice sunny weather helps too. I hope I was able to help in some small way. God bless. Hugs 🤗💕🦋🌻🌷💜

Gracey888 profile image
Gracey888 in reply to Cherylvit

Thank you for your thought out response. I have a few of the apps but not used them except insight timer some years ago. Panic attacks wise I’ve reached out to a local hypnotherapist who deals with pain too and we’re trying to set up a session in the next few days to look at my underlying health anxieties and fears that could be playing a huge and messy role right now. He’s offered a discounted amount. Other than that I tend to sit in the evening with my eldest daughter (16) and we watch funny shows on prime and Netflix. Unfortunately due to my adhd I get hyper focused in searching for answers and treatments and ways to recover on you tube for hours. It’s probably part of an OCD pattern from fear. It’s so hard to break right now and I try and then switch to a soothing music video oR ASMR but I’m left with a lingering disquiet. I think it’s why I need outside professional help now.

Thank you for your care.

Cherylvit profile image
Cherylvit in reply to Gracey888

You are welcome Gracey. I’m glad you found a hypnotherapist who also works with pain. That is good. I left that option out of my response. Glenn Howrold (sp? Can’t spell right now) has good apps out there too. He s a hypnotherapist too. Sorry I got to go. Will come back later.

Cherylvit profile image
Cherylvit in reply to Cherylvit

I’m back now. Sorry had to run out to get dinner. Chinese. Glenn Harold. I can spell now. Fibro fog frustrating. Another hypnotherapy app is harmony by Darold Marks. Both have some free apps. Glenn really helped me out a few years ago when I was going through a major depression flare. So I have bought several of his hypnosis apps. I hope the hypnotherapist you found is able to get to the root cause of the panic attacks. I have experienced the physical symptoms of it with the fibromyalgia but not the emotional aspect of it. Forgive my lack of knowledge but what is ASMR? I’m glad you are having a good time with your daughter in the evenings watching the funny shows. You take care and be safe.

Mollycooper11 profile image
Mollycooper11

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through all of this. For my anxiety and panic attacks I have been on Xanax and now on Paxam. Perhaps ask your Dr for something different to Mirtazapine.

Also you can have an endoscopy to rule in or out gastritis and hernia. I had one a few years ago as in inpatient.

Good luck

Gracey888 profile image
Gracey888 in reply to Mollycooper11

Thank you Molly, I’m not sure we have those meds in the UK. I had a session with my gastro today and he suggested the mirtazapine might be good to calm me down and get my appetite back in some way. I’ve never liked any of these things to be honest as I have a highly sensitised system.

lootsvj profile image
lootsvj

Gracey888,

I went trough the same, it is as if you are talking about me,,,,it starts as soon as I go sleep, I was afraid of going to bed I had al of those symptoms you talking about...When the pannic attack starts try and relax from your face right down to your toes,. take a deep breath and count till 4 then let it slowly out count 5 , 6 as you do it, and then agian, and again until you feel better, try and relax put 2 pillows underneath your head lay down and relax, relax, everything your whole body and let your chin hang even if your mouth hangs open...It might sound funny but his is how my Psycologist helped me...Then wrt medication for my gerd I use Trustan 40mg every morning and for my anxiety Leximal 20g and Urbinol 10mg I promise you I am a changed person... Say to yourself after breathing and counting till 4 and out again... and relax, once you feel better lay down think of something you would like to do, play soft music, walk in the garden, just something that takes your mind of this...You see what happens is that this is so stuck in your mind so tonight when you go to bed you are already stressed and waiting for it to happen,,,so tonight when you to bed play soft music in your if you can lay down and think of good thinks, nice thinks, your beautiful kids if you have kids, just something to take you into a different vibe....So if my spelling is not so good, I am from South Africa and afrikaans speaking....My anxiety went on for 2 years untill I found the right medication...They say that the Trustan 40mg is the Rolls Royce of all these acid/reflux/gerd medication.. Promise the best,,,I became so bad that I could not drive my car to work, please do your breathing, think of something else, relax your body etc.

My best wishes, hope I could help a bit, as I said it sounded as if you were talking about me as you were describing your problem,,Pray, pray..ask God to help you.

VickiL66

Gracey888 profile image
Gracey888 in reply to lootsvj

I’m sorry you went through all this too. It’s horrible. I’m not sure what those meds Trustan, leximal & Urbinol are in the UK? And you’re right it’s like I’m a needle on a record stuck and I can’t move it off.

No need to apologise I understand what you’ve written and I appreciate you taking the time. I do have two kids here with me 13 & 16 and I don’t know what I’d do had I been alone. Their father isn’t here and is aggravating me about wanting to have them but I’m vulnerable and he’ll just have to wait. He is coming here to stand on my drive and chat to the kids once a week, it’s a bit stressful for me though!

I’m struggling to keep up with housework and cooking. My parents used to come twice a week to help me do the house so it’s been hard like this. I had a session with my gastro today on Zoom and he’s upped my esomeprozole for now and suggested I have post viral syndrome plus the anxiety which has heightened my whole sensory system. He’s said to see how I go till the weekend and possibly start my mertazipine then. Meanwhile I have to start up my bowel disease meds again tonight. I hope I’m ok with it all. Also I Mentioned above but I have reached out to a local hypnotherapist who will hopefully do a session soon to dial down some of the fear and worry and panic. I need that support right now. Am praying every day (even with my faith in skeptics place).

I hope your doing much better now?

Thank you for responding and letting me openly discuss what’s playing on my mind.

Let us know how hypnosis works for you. If you can handle the head meds you’re going to be ok. I think your tummy has gastritus and maybe inflammation in bowels. That’s maybe why gavascon hurt you as I’m not able either the magnesium bothers me. Just eat soft foods fortified cereals Rick for getting your vitamins to heal I do Rice Krispies softened and no dairy coffee eat bananas soft foods and chicken is good without fat if you need a few days before you eat that then don’t just easy digested foods and overcooked greens. Ativan saves my life right now. Try that slippery elm & marshmallow root supplement be sure to drink extra water. It costs soothes you’ll notice a difference over time I do it twice a day. Mine was healing until major stress and more meds. I think from low iron go for greens.

Gracey888 profile image
Gracey888 in reply to

Not yet sure about the head meds, do you mean the mertazapine? I’m not sure yet either! Oooofff 😟.

I hope it’s not gastritis, it’s just all bleurgh!

I’m just checking to make sure the slippery elm / marshmallow is ok with current meds I’m on. I’ve found one by bio care that has them both in a capsule, but would that help be soothing. I’m not sure I fancy drinking a strange flavoured texture liquid. Is that how you have it? I’m so fed up with this burning at the back of my throat and being Uber ridiculously sensitive to smells and sensations 😢.

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