Have you heard the one about the girl... - Fibromyalgia Acti...

Fibromyalgia Action UK

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Have you heard the one about the girl who bought her brother a birthday cake?

Ginsing profile image
21 Replies

She couldn't figure out how to get the cake in the typewriter to write Happy Birthday !

That was bad but wait for the rest we are going for really bad jokes,

Which dinosaur does well in exams have you got it..............Tyrannathesaurus rex!

I said they were bad any one got any?

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Ginsing profile image
Ginsing
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21 Replies
panda60 profile image
panda60

I thought these were old ones, but my friends hadn't heard them.

Why couldn't the viper viper nose?

Because the adder adder hanky.

What lies shivering on the seabed.

A nervous wreck.

Why did the sand blush?

Because the sea weed.

Forgive me if you've heard them before

TheAuthor profile image
TheAuthor in reply topanda60

hehehehe! Not heard those either, really good!

Thank you

Ken x

Ginsing profile image
Ginsing in reply topanda60

oldies but still funny Thanks Panda for the smiles

Furry profile image
Furry

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head. . . . . Cliff

TheAuthor profile image
TheAuthor in reply toFurry

hahahaha! Old but bloomin brilliant

Thank you

Ken x

Lucyhobbit profile image
Lucyhobbit

You have no idea what you may have just unleashed - I have a terribly cheesy sense of humour....

How do you make a sausage roll?

- push it down the hill

What's the fastest thing in the water?

- a motor pike

Doctor, doctor I feel like a biscuit

- Don't worry you're just crackers

How do you catch a bra?

- With a booby trap

TheAuthor profile image
TheAuthor in reply toLucyhobbit

Fantastic, only heard one of them before!

Thank you

Ken x

Iampain profile image
Iampain

What do you call a shy dinosaur?

D'yethinke'saurus!

Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

Because there were no chickens

Why did the one armed

man cross the road?

To get to the second hand shop!

TheAuthor profile image
TheAuthor in reply toIampain

Brilliant, not heard any of those ones!

Thank you

Ken x

bluebell99 profile image
bluebell99

OOOoooooooh!!!

How about these.

What do you call a man with a spade?

Doug

What do you call a man without a spade?

Douglas

I know, terrible,,...

What do you call a man with a paper bag on his head?

Russell

I can hear the groans!!!!

TheAuthor profile image
TheAuthor in reply tobluebell99

hehehehehe! Really great!

Thank you

Ken x

hamble99b profile image
hamble99b

did you hear about the gynaecologist who decorated their hall, stairs & landing through the letterbox? :D

TheAuthor profile image
TheAuthor

I haven't heard those before and I like!

Thank you gins x x x x

TheAuthor profile image
TheAuthor

Did you hear about the two .....(No! Can't put that one on a thread!).

What about the women that went to ....... (No! Can't use that one either!).

Okay, There were four blokes standing in a ...... (Oh no! Definitely not!).

Right, I thought everybody wrote some really good jokes!

Ginsing profile image
Ginsing in reply toTheAuthor

Well done folks ?

Aura1 profile image
Aura1

Whats green and goes up and down ?

A goosebury in a lift ....

Ginsing profile image
Ginsing

Thanks Aura

"whats black and white and red all over?

A Newspaper

Tannels profile image
Tannels

Chuckling here, some good ones. Hope this one is ok....apologies if not....

Two little girls standing outside in the garden. One said to the other, I found a cond...m on the patiio the other day. The other girl replied....'what's a patio'. Hope I have not offended anyone.

Tannels x

I have had the best tea break known to man or woman, you have all been so funny and made me laugh so much I am now sore :) Some oldies, but you know they're still funny. Keep it up, I have a long day ahead of me :)

hamble99b profile image
hamble99b

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

I'll tell you later!

fenbadger profile image
fenbadger in reply tohamble99b

Go on then.

Aw go on go on go on go on

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