Well dear ladies and gents, I AM that unlucky 😫😢 Was supposed to be transferring our last frozen embryo today but nope, had that lovely call from the clinic to say it didn't thaw properly.
Echoes of a similar call almost 3 years agow when my first ever cycle ended in a call to say bad news, none of your eggs fertilised. It's extremely rare blah blah blah. So TWICE now I've been that 'super rare' case. In between my first and last non-starter rounds/transfer, we had 4 embryo transfers, with 5 embryos in total, and nothing. Not even a hint of a positive test. I don't honestly know where to go from here 🤷♀️😭.We dont have anything left and I think I have to be honest with myself and accept what the Universe seems to be trying to tell me x
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AuroraXen
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Dear AuroraXen ,I'm so sorry. This must be devastating. Take some time out for yourself. I've also just had my BFN (6th cycle), also not sure how much more I can take.
Oh AuroraXen really sorry to hear this, must be awful to get yourself geared up for transfer to get "that" call. It's bloody devastating to feel you keep being in the groups where "this hardly ever happens"...I have also been in these rare groups that nobody wants to be in and it is so frustrating and upsetting. Hard to get your head around and doesn't give you a lot of confidence in the process (for me anyway). I totally empathise with not knowing what to do next, all I can really say at this stage is thinking of you and please please be kind to yourself xx
I don't think I'm going to bother this time Lovely. I know his advice will be to go for DE. It's sad but once you're out I just kind of feel nobody cares? 😕 It's probably time for a change, starting to feel we need a new clinic for the next steps. I'd feel a bit pathetic debriefing yet again 😂 So I'm trying to get a teleconsultation with a Dr from another UK clinic just as a 2nd opinion on what to do next, then going to try abroad xx
Oh love I’m so sorry, you must be absolutely gutted. I think in many ways it’s easier to come to terms with the cycles that end in a bfn than it is all the other curve balls like this, that IVF continues to throw at us. Sending you the biggest hugs. Xx
Thanks Solly. I'm just trying to tell myself it obviously never had a chance but it's such a $hitty end to what was our best cycle ever. I thought back in Nov wow, 3 frozen embryos, we're bound to get somewhere here. But no 😫 And then just back to having nothing and no chances left. Bless you for sending kind words when this is such a sad day for you xx
Dear Aurora, I'm so sorry to hear this news. This happened to me last month with our last remaining embryo also. But I kind of half expected it as it was the lowest quality one. I know how bad you feel, all this preparation for nothing. Sending you a lot of love xxx
It's the worst isn't it. I kind of wish they'd transfer the embryos in a different order so you aren't left with the lowest graded coming last... such a horrible way to end your ivf cycle, not even getting to transfer. Can't believe I'm in this situation again. It's a very cruel experience (I hate the word journey with a passion). I'm so sorry for what you're going through too. I just think what an absolute waste the last few months have been. I'm too old now for this kind of $hit to just waste months I could've been trying something else 🤬😭 xx
If you do decide to go again it’s worth just telling the clinic what you want to do and seeing their reaction? I insisted on transferring my last embryos starting with the lowest grade (leaving the highest AA grade to last) - mentally I said that I couldn’t do multiple transfers knowing my best shot had already failed. They agreed saying it was my mental health, my body, my embryos and my body and supported me so that I got to choose what I transferred and in what order x
Thanks for sharing Lovely. I think that's actually what we'll do, if we go again with my eggs. Or even if we go with DEs, I definitely want to save the best till last if there's ever a choice again xx
Aurora, I totally get your feelings. It's like, why did I even waste my time? If you will decide to try again, I think you perhaps might change approach, and live your life, do not wait any longer with any decisions, because "I might get pregnant soon". I started to have this approach too late, only before my last transfer, but it did make a difference for me. I'm so sorry again that you have to go thorough that. I hope you will find some comfort soon.
And btw, I read here on forum, that one ladies' clinic, is choosing embryos to transfer randomly. And never tell the grade beforehand so the ladies have more positive vibes before each transfer. I think it's a very good approach!
I think that's a great approach! And you're right, I really want to find a way to make the most of this time, instead of letting infertility consume all the joy in life 😢 xx
I'm so sorry hun, that is absolutely devastating! It's so unfair sometimes. I still can't wrap my head around why some of us have such bad luck. I understand the feeling of not knowing whether to continue or what to do. Sending you love and hugs xx
You've really been through the wringer too I know. Yep, some of us truly just seem to have no luck. But I'm hopeful for your transfer with a tested embryo! 🤞🤞🤞 xx
I’m so so sorry to read this. It’s so unfair, so cruel. I had a failed cycle a few months ago and it almost killed me so I just want to say, take some time to grieve and try and find some things to do that you like doing. Treat yourself, be kind to yourself and let it all out of you need to. Sending you so much love xx
Thanks Janop. I think the worst thing for me is I never feel I want to take time out as the pressure of time marching on is just the worst. I just feel even more panicked 😭 xx
Hi I’m so sorry this has happened to you , it is awful going through all the fet prep & medications to get to transfer day for It then to be over before it’s even had a chance, this happened to me on my 1st transfer in 2020 after waiting months for clinic to reopen our only embryo didn’t survive so I know how you must be feeling it is just devastating, It’s such shitty luck , especially as they claim this happening is “ rare” & with you already facing disappointing results previously. This ivf journey is bloody difficult , our hopes are often thrashed & it’s extremely difficult to feel positive after so much .
I’m sending you strength & hoping you find some hope in whatever your next steps are xx .
Thanks sweetheart. You've had a harder time than most, I know, so it's really lovely of you to console others 😘 And as you say, when it's you that keeps experiencing so-called rare events, you just think what have we done to deserve all this 🤷♀️😭 Not sure where we go next. If we can beg or borrow enough money to try again I think it'll be abroad. UK prices seem so high and there are no other private clinics where we are (I think 4 fresh rounds at any one clinic is my max!) How are you doing? Xx
Thank you it’s nice that we can support each other in our times of need ♥️I know it does make you think why are these bad things always happening to us all of the time. Surely some good things may be on the horizon “ well we can only hope”
So many people go abroad for ivf treatment it’s definitely worth looking into. Much cheaper & some good clinics hopefully this is the way forward for you
We were extremely lucky to have had 2 rounds nhs which has now ended , our last fet in june had failed so now on to trying self funded at the same clinic for another full cycle
Looking to hopefully start September onwards. Just trying to feel positive is often draining isn’t it . Xx
I'm so sorry! This is absolutely awful. You've been through so much and to have this happen right at the end after all the prep... Just awful. I hope you're taking some time to grieve and being super kind to yourself ❤️ xx
Yeah I can imagine, it's such an unfair anticlimax! And you should have had high hopes - 3 frozen embryos is amazing. I really hoped it would be your time this time 😥 wishing you all the best for your next steps, too
I am so sorry to hear this. This journey is so bloody hard 😢 Take time to grieve. Life can be so cruel and unfair. I wish you all the best for your next steps whatever you decide to do. I am sending you a big big hug and so much love xxxx
So sorry to read this. I understand how hard it must be, take some time out & decide what you want to do going forward. I too had failed fertilisation on 2 rounds - unusual I was told, gyno no idea why either which is frustrating. I took 5 years out, it done me the world of good although now I feel it was a bit long but having that break does help get your thoughts & feelings together & make a plan.
Sorry to hear this Aurora. I know how it feels to be on the wrong side of the statistics. We just had our 13th embryo transfer fail and my Dr proceeded to tell me that 99% of women would have had a live birth by now, after so many transfers. (Which I know is true)It sucks Hold onto hope, at this point it’s all we’ve got!
Oh no that’s so upsetting I’m so so sorry 😢 I’ve felt that ‘universe is trying to tell me something’ feeling a few times but f@*the universe only you two can decide what’s next 💜 sending you love xx
Hi AuroraXen this is just totally devastating. I can't imagine the absolute deflating feeling, combined with frustration and loss you will have. I am very concerned about time/all the time too, but before embarking on DE, I would recommend enough time for you to truly process what's happened, it will help. If you need any advice about DE abroad give me a shout, I am really to share what I have learnt. Take care xxx
Actually Yellow611 that would be really helpful... I'm definitely going to go for a clinic in Europe, was thinking maybe Greece. Trying to search all the past threads on european clinic recommendations. But I'll message you! xx
I’m so sorry that you are having to go through all this. I had a very similar experience. I would suggest if you decide to continue and haven’t tried this already, ask about intralipids and steroids, it seems to do the trick for many women on here. I wish I had known about it earlier as I would have suggested it to my clinic
I am so so sorry. That must have been truly awful. My only possibly helpful thoughts are to suggest you ask your consultant about all possible tests for recurrent implantation failure if you haven't already had all these. Personally having gone through 4 rounds and a cancelled round with 3 embryo transfers with 6 embryos and not a hint of a positive, I think these tests should be offered to all women before they even start IVF so that any issues can be treated as they go along. I had thrombotic risk profile test and Natural Killer Cells test after my 4th failed fresh cycle, which both showed up with implantation issues and I also had the Emma/Alice test which came back normal. They started treatment for the now known implantation issues for what would have have been my 5th fresh cycles which sadly ended up being cancelled. However it is sad not knowing whether I might have been successful on an earlier round if only these issues had been addressed! Wishing you all the best with your next steps Xx
I hear you! I did have nk tests, ERA and microbiome tests earlier this year. And I wonder if my progesterone timing has been different from the start, would things have been different? Never had the thrombotic risk assessment though. Thanks for the advice Lovely xx
So sorry to hear this. We also feel we’re in a similar position. After many own egg transfers and no positive test results we have had 2 transfers with donor eggs in the last year to finally have a positive test on both occasions to then find out we had a blighted ovum (had no idea it was even possible, the pregnancy symptoms continue and HCG levels rise so tests were still showing +) to just recently having a biochemical pregnancy (we broke down on way to the clinic on the day of transfer and ended up getting taxis to and from costing us £350, due to train strikes and no hire cars available!!). It just feels like the universe is against you and trying to tell you something. I feel you’re pain. Try and dust yourself off (I am trying to but absolutely know how hard it is), and keep fighting. We will keep trying until we have success. It is draining though. Look after yourself.
I’m sorry to hear this. This happened to me in nov with one of my best embryos. I was utterly shocked and did not expect this to happen. We are just unlucky 😢 I’m so so sorry. Take time to heel. Sending you lots of love xxx
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Hold onto hope, at this point it’s all we’ve got! 
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