Here we go again!! Round 3 🙄 - Fertility Network UK

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Here we go again!! Round 3 🙄

Sarascottxox profile image
27 Replies

Hey everyone

Just waiting for AF to prep for embryo transfer number 3. Feel kinda weird this time. My first fresh transfer in March I was a bag of nerves and anxiety which became even worse when I got my BFP and then followed by devastated when I miscarried.

My 2nd transfer I felt cautiously optimistic .... I had gotten pregnant, it was just a bad embryo surely.... then nothing... BFN...

Going into round 3 I just feel a bit numb. I think I've built up protective walls as I don't want to deal with the grief and heartache again... I miss my life when I was fun and had plans to look forward to.

Anyway, not really a question... just a bit of a rant. I feel kinda negative about my next two transfers as I know my best embryos are gone. I have a 5 day 3BA getting popped back in this time, with a 6 day 5BB in the freezer.

Anyone else about to start their next transfer cycle ?? Xxx

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Sarascottxox profile image
Sarascottxox
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27 Replies
Sancor profile image
Sancor

Hi there. Fully understand how you feel. I am currently going through the same. That being said, I never had a positive pregnancy test with the best looking embryo of the round. I got a positive test with a frozen transfer. (Don’t remember the grade). Ended up having a miscarriage. Don’t know if it helps. The next transfer I will have Is a 3AB I believe.

Sarascottxox profile image
Sarascottxox in reply to Sancor

Yeah I know they say don't pay too much attention to the grading. Guess I just feel pessimistic as my only positve was with my best graded fresh embryo. Trying to snap out this funk. When is your next transfer? X

Sancor profile image
Sancor in reply to Sarascottxox

I understand. It’s difficult to stay positive. Especially when everybody around you are having babies 😅 I am waiting for my ovulation, hopefully tomorrow. Then we can plan it for the coming week. it’s my last embryo. We only got 2 blasts from my last egg collection.

Sarascottxox profile image
Sarascottxox in reply to Sancor

Tell me a about it! My best friend had her 2nd back two weeks ago and my other close friend her first last week. Kinda used to it now after 2.5 years of trying. How come you wait for your ovulation? You doing a natural cycle? Mine is medicated I.e. I start estrogen when I come on my period in the next few days then they do a scan day 12 then trasnfer 5ish days later x

Sancor profile image
Sancor in reply to Sarascottxox

My doctor always do blood tests to measure when ovulation takes place before frozen transfers. I guess he is trying to plan for the best day/time to transfer for a receptive uterus? After transfer he starts me on progesterone. Don’t know if he will start me on estradiol as well. You start taking estrogen to prepare lining ? My lining was always 9-10 mm. Only had 1 implantation out of 4 transfers though

Sarascottxox profile image
Sarascottxox in reply to Sancor

Our clinic does is differently. They start you on estrogen on day one of cycle but that prevent ovulation. Have scan on day 12 to measure lining. Mine has been between 8 and 9 each time and then start 5 day progesterone before transfer. I like the sounds of yours more as its more natural !

Sancor profile image
Sancor in reply to Sarascottxox

It indeed does. Never occurred to me that they would try to stop the ovulation. Wonder what difference it makes !? My friend goes through IVF too. No medication before transfer and they calculate transfer date on her lining.

Sarascottxox profile image
Sarascottxox in reply to Sancor

I think its to avoid the danger of multiple pregnancies (not that there's much chance of that given the circumstances! 😂) I wasn't on estrogen for my fresh transfer but I think all the stim injections help build your lining. The estrogen is for that. Tbh, our issue is male factor mainly and my lining has been normal on scans without any drugs so wpild rather your clinics approach!

Sancor profile image
Sancor in reply to Sarascottxox

That would have been a mess 😝 my doctor is probably not worried here as I got both my tubes removed, along with endometriosis. I have taken estrogen from day 15, to day 1 in cycle, to help remove a cyst and to see if it would develop more follicles. It did work out. But honestly I become like a madhouse when I start taking them. I have a transition period of 3 days where I am quite sensitive 🤣

Sancor profile image
Sancor in reply to Sancor

Wishing you all the best of luck btw. And I hope to follow your process 🌱

Sarascottxox profile image
Sarascottxox in reply to Sancor

Sorry to hear your journey has been so hard 😞 Please stay in touch and let me know how it goes! I'm due on tomorrow but I tracked my ovulation this month and it's late so I'm not expecting it for a few days x

Luka_Ru profile image
Luka_Ru

Hi Sara! I'm on CD1 and have my baseline scan on Friday> second FET for me after BFN in March (egg collection cycle in between).

Sarascottxox profile image
Sarascottxox in reply to Luka_Ru

Good luck for Friday! Did you not have a fresh transfer from your last collection ? X

Luka_Ru profile image
Luka_Ru in reply to Sarascottxox

No fresh transfer, I have high AMH so had to do a freeze all due to OHSS risk. So everything takes forever 😑. Also had COVID after retrieval so I had to wait another month.

Sarascottxox profile image
Sarascottxox in reply to Luka_Ru

Oh no! I had covid right before my egg retrieval so was so worried it would effect things. Good luck on this transfer ! Everything crossed for you! X

Heaps of luck, I know people who had losses and BFNs with their best embryos and then babies from their worst! There is hope! xx

Sarascottxox profile image
Sarascottxox in reply to

Thank you Daisy! Keep trying to tell myself that too xx

AMJean profile image
AMJean

Best of luck to you! 👍I’m a bit behind you but will be starting round 3 soon… x

AMJean profile image
AMJean

Ps meant to say I totally get how you’re feeling about Round 3! x

Sarascottxox profile image
Sarascottxox in reply to AMJean

Good luck to you too! I’m a naturally positive person but it’s hard with this isn’t it?! X

NemoFish profile image
NemoFish

I’m about to start my third fresh cycle as I’ve never had anything for the freezer. I also had a BFP my first time and lost it shortly after, then two put back on my second which was a BFN. I have hardly any feelings about this cycle at all now. I’m already preparing for another BFN with nothing to freeze. I’ve even started looking for other clinics. Very pessimistic I know!

As for embryo grading I personally wouldn’t take much notice. My clinic doesn’t even grade them (or at least they don’t tell us), because so many ‘low’ grade make it whilst higher grades fail. I don’t believe it’s worth worrying about x

Hallj10 profile image
Hallj10

On the oestrogen now ready for my 5th transfer after 1 failed and 3 miscarriages 😩

This is my last embryo also and not planning to make any more. I have too many issues.

Should be transferred around the 11th.

Good luck 🤞

Mai94 profile image
Mai94

Not starting a cycle but I just wanted to say good luck, I too had built a wall by the third for self preservation. Similarly my first round produces a BFP followed by a miscarriage, second round bfn and third time lucky we got our twin boys. Our highest graded embryos had also mostly been used and we had another A grade and a C transferred. They’re both amazing and you wouldn’t know who was who, the consultant said they only freeze hold standard embryos that have potential to make a baby x

Lamagarden profile image
Lamagarden

Hello, I can completely relate to how you feel. We had our first round/transfer in November, we were so hopeful and optimistic and then devastated with a BFN. Second round/transfer in Feb, we were very cautious, expecting a BFN but got an amazing BFP, we were over the moon but it ended in an early miscarriage, we were completely devastated. Felt quite down after for a while. We’re just about to have our third transfer and miraculously feeling quite positive and hopeful again! Can’t wait for our success story! It’s a REAL rollercoaster! From my experience, feelings change. Wishing you all the best xxxx

Sarascottxox profile image
Sarascottxox in reply to Lamagarden

Wishing you all the luck in the world!! Our journeys sound quite similar! When is your next transfer? Mine is provisionally booked for 21st July ! Xxx

Lamagarden profile image
Lamagarden

Some point next week I think, not sure yet. Had a scan on Wednesday and have another one today. Waiting for follicles to grow to approx 18mm I think. Should know more later today, I’ll let you know xx

Hi lovely.

I start my second fresh cycle in 2 weeks, following 1 failed fresh & 1 failed frozen cycle.

I completely get you about building those protective walls. It’s a very logical tactic when you know full well how difficult it is when your hopes are shattered.

But… I just to say, in my experience, those protective walls can also be quite damaging. So maybe just don’t build them to the extent that you feel you won’t be so affected by a BFN, because those walls can be misleading.

I don’t want to be negative lovely, of course, we MUST keep the faith - dare to dream & try to stay positive!!! I just don’t want you doing what I did:

My 1st cycle I was full of hope & positivity - it didn’t work & that was really difficult to deal with. So…

For my 2nd cycle I built those walls high. Convinced myself that the cycle was just ‘going through the motions’ because I knew it wouldn’t work, and when I got that BFN it wouldn’t hurt so much because, well, I knew it all along anyway, right??

WRONG! So wrong! In fact, I was so unprepared for feeling as devastated as I did, that I really think it made it so much harder. I realised I hadn’t fooled anyone, least of all myself, and that beneath those walls I was still desperately clinging on to hope.

To an extent, it is what it is, and I don’t believe the outcome would have been any different whether I had been optimistic or pessimistic about it. It’s just that I found it a lot harder to deal with after having convinced myself it wouldn’t be that bad this time because I was prepared for it to fail. And I don’t want the same for you.

I’m not saying don’t be cautious & protective of your emotions, I just don’t want you to be unprepared for the immensity of emotions by thinking it won’t be so bad if you block it all out.

For my 3rd cycle I think I’m gonna try (how naive to think I have control of it 🤪) find a balance between the 2 previous - half hopeful & half sceptical) - I’ll let you know how that works out 😅

But all that negativity aside…… this is a brand new cycle and of course there is always the chance this could be the one!

So sending all the love, positivity & luck your way. Everything crossed for you x x x

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