All embryos used up - BFN, turning 44... - Fertility Network UK

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All embryos used up - BFN, turning 44 soon.. DE??

S2017 profile image
9 Replies

Hi everyone,

I have in total done 3 cycles and had a total of 3 blastocysts and 3 Day 3 embryos transferred (at different times) and all resulted in a negative pregnancy test.

I did the procedures when I was 42+ and all this plus ERA took about 1.5 years.

While all our initial fertility test have come back normal, I feel the main issue is my age and while I may get lucky with another cycle, I feel my chances are slim.

I'm in 2 minds if we should try again. Only thing I can think of to do differently is to do acupuncture and take chinese herbs (my friend did this and it worked for her at age 44!), never tried these herbs but am willing to give it a go.

I am now considering donor eggs (not ruled out IVF yet but open to DE) and hope that those who have some info/tried this route can advise:

For those who have gone done this route:

1) Which agencies do you recommend and estimate cost? Is it a long process or a lot faster than IVF/ICSI?

2) Which agencies allow you to see the pic of the donor or at least a partial pic (say with the eyes blocked out or something). Greece/Spain/UK?

3) What other info do they share with you? Health/genetic conditions? If they are a smoker/not? Education/family background/anything? What are they willing to share? Can you get donor info if you are pregnant to share with your child?

4) Why are some DEs failing to result in pregnancy if they are using eggs of those generally below 35? Can you request for them to use eggs below the age of 30?

5) Any benefits of getting the DE in UK over say going to someplace like Spain?

fyi - I'm not blonde/blue eyed so I would need a DE to have slightly more darker features.

If you have any info on any of the above questions, please share and let me know. Any recommendations/advise is appreciated. fyi - I am based in UK.

** Please don't name clinics/Drs on this chat directly, pls send me a message instead**

Thank you & good luck everyone.

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S2017
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9 Replies
DianeArnold profile image
DianeArnoldPartnerNurseFertility Network UK

Hi S. Anyone posting replies here and needing to mention clinics etc by name, please do so by private message. Good luck! Diane

S2017 profile image
S2017 in reply to DianeArnold

Thank you 🙂

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5

Hey, we went to Greece for DE IVF. My main issues that we didnt get a BFP straight away were that my ERA showed that I did not have a normal implantation window which we didnt really suspect until further down the road. Benefits are no waiting lists, you can specify donor aspect ie eye colour, hair colour, race, skin type, height, weight. We found the donor process all very quick and it's cheaper than in the UK. You can find out education, job, hobbies. No info to give to the child though, only in the UK you'll get that. You cant see photos of donors (even blanked out eyes etc), not in Greece, Spain or many of the EU countries. The clinic match you. I think you'll find its perhaps only the USA & Ukraine that allow you to see donors (not the place you want to be at present).xx

S2017 profile image
S2017

Thank you for coming back to me and providing recommendations. Its really unfortunate that they wont let you see the person.. but will allow you to take their eggs and implant it back into you.. but I guess this approach has its pros and cons.

US is a place I can't consider due to the cost factor and yes Ukraine is out of the question. There are a lot of people who are doing their surrogacy there and I feel for all the pregnant women who have to evacuate during this war. So very sad..

We are doing donor in the UK. My other half wanted any child to be able to trace their genetic mother and many places overseas are anonymous which didn’t work for us. At our clinic you couldn’t request age (but you can reject donors) but you got to choose hair colour, skin tone, eye colour, education levels, height, weight, religion, ethnicity and we also got to see their job and hobbies / interests plus any illnesses or genetic conditions.

For what it’s worth I am 44. We have been advised donor as our last few rounds (at 43) our embryos were slowing down and not making blasto. It might be worth speaking to your clinic about embryo development and quality. My AMH is super high for my age but through six fresh rounds of ivf I’ve whether had bfns or lost the pregnancy and my clinic basically said they wouldn’t support another own egg round. I went for a second opinion and they said donor only I was flogging a dead horse so to speak. So that was decision made for me!

Happy to chat more on PM if it helps xx

S2017 profile image
S2017 in reply to

Thank you very much for coming back to me here and sharing the details on chat. Much appreciated...Xx

Hey! We went for DE in czech and it was the best decision we made and wish we had done it earlier! The cost was a fraction of the UK, better technology, great communication, no waiting time, we found out education level, hobbies, physical characteristics! We done a lot of work around the anonymous factor aswell with some counselling. Message if you want to know more about the clinic! Xx

S2017 profile image
S2017

Thank you very much, I've just sent you a message.

Lanita profile image
Lanita

Dear S2017, i am sorry for a late message and i hope you can reply to me. Kindly advise about which herbs you was talking about:"chinese herbs (my friend did this and it worked for her at age 44!),"

Do you remember the name?

I am 44 now and will be 45 in a few month, so still planning to do my own eggs collection, but forcast from all over around is or nothing will be collected or i can be along 2-3% who will get good own eggs. Therefore have my plan B, as my younger sister agreed to be my DE if no succsess from my side.

So would liek to know what type of herbs as already doing all supplements from book "it starts with a egg", wher my FSH level improved (decreased from 14,7 to 8.1) lenght between periods increased from 23-24 days to 26 days. So looking for all option to improve.

Thank you in advance!

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