Somewhat immaterial query

[KTL80]

So my husband said I should ask my clinic about this, but my first thought was "Nope, I'm going to ask the amazing people on my forum first".

We were very lucky in getting our BFP following our first fresh IVF cycle back in November 2017. All was going really well until a scan at 23 weeks showed our daughter had died. We have just got through the first anniversary of her birth/death and I desperately want to have something permanent to recognise her existence. I have a little pendant on a necklace which a friend gave me which I wear every day but I am scared of losing it. We have all the scan pictures (8 weeks, 12 weeks, 20 weeks) but I know they can degrade over time. We have a little memory box kindly provided by the hospital following her delivery but it is kept in a cupboard out of sight. So I have pretty much made my mind up that I want a small simple tattoo on my wrist.

So here is my query..... we are about to embark on our 4th treatment round. I will be starting meds for a FET around the beginning of May. We had 2 FETs last year; both BFNs. Am I allowed to have a tattoo this close to starting treatment? The clinic have never asked about it in the past so I'm thinking it's ok, but this is our last frostie and I wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardise it. At the same time I fear the memory of our daughter is fading. What to do?!

Thank you all.

Katie

x

[Solly-44]

Hi Katie,

I’m so, so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I can’t even imagine how painful the last year must have been for you.

I got a tattoo about a month before I started my stim cycle ‘for luck’ and my clinic said it was absolutely fine. I got a ribbing from the nurses for being such a baby about my injections when I’d got a tattoo no problem mind! I’d double check with your clinic but personally I think it’s a lovely way to honour your little girl.

Wishing you the best of luck with your next cycle x

[KTL80 in reply to Solly-44]

Thank you, this is pretty much exactly what I wanted to hear!

I am so sorry for your BFN. This journey is unbelievably hard to navigate through but you always try to focus on the destination making the arduous journey worth every second. This is not the end of your journey; it is an unexpected and unwanted diversion. When you are ready you will reroute and set off again. Look after yourself over the coming days and weeks. Be kind to yourself and try to focus on those frosties.

Katie xx

[Solly-44 in reply to KTL80]

Thank you xx I am really feeling it today, but I know it will get better.

Best of luck for your next cycle, it’s such an exciting and nerve wracking time! Can I ask how long you left it between your fet’s? Xx

[KTL80 in reply to Solly-44]

We did our first FET in August 2018, got the BFN at the start of September. We and our clinic were keen to get straight back on it and everything was in place to start the next FET treatment at the start of my October cycle. By some miracle we got pregnant naturally (first time in over 4 years!). I miscarried that pregnancy at 6 weeks at the end of October. We then did the FET from the start of my next cycle. Got the BFN just before Christmas. The clinic said we could have gone straight to another go, or we could see a different consultant who specialises in multiple implantation failures and multiple miscarriages. As we only have one frostie left we agreed to see him but this put treatment back as he didn't have any appointments until February. We saw him (which, although very nice, was a bit of a waste of time as he doesn't plan on changing anything!) We were then due to start the FET treatment last month but day 1 of my cycle decided to coincide with the anniversary of our daughter's death and all I wanted to do that day was get very very drunk (not the best preparation for treatment but very much needed at that time!) So we delayed for a month, and I'm due to start, fingers crossed, in a couple of weeks.

So to summarise (which I probably should have done at the start!), our clinic didn't think it necessary to wait after a failed FET. We could go straight in to another round if we wanted to. This is the first time we have actually chosen to delay treatment. I guess I'm more nervous going in to this one than any of the others as it's our last throw of the dice, at least in this particular game!

I strongly recommend speaking to your clinic asap to see what they recommend. Even getting a follow-up appointment can take a while so if you don't feel you are ready to jump right back in now, you might do in a couple of weeks.

xx