Must be due some good luck.... - Fertility Network UK

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Must be due some good luck....

Hetty1989 profile image
9 Replies

So I guess I will start at the beginning, my partner and myself had been TTC for 2 years before I went to my GP. Over the next 8 months we had all the usual tests which showed I had polycystic ovaries, we went for a consultation which confirmed the latter but also that my partner had no sperm in his samples!

I was told in this consultation that our only option was IVF and my partner would need to start further investigations as to why he had no sperm i.e does he have a blockage or does he just not produce any.

So the next lot of investigations begin and a few months later I get a call from my partner at the hospital who had gone in for an ultrasound which resulted in him being told he had testicular cancer!

Naturally this turned our world upside down but within a week he had an operation to remove his testicle that had the cancer and after all the follow ups is now cancer free with a 2 year check up plan!

The relief of having him healthy and well has felt like walking on air for the last few weeks however our next fertility appointment is in 4 days and I can feel the panic starting to set in! I have no idea what to expect and I really don't know how to handle more bad news.

Don't get me wrong the last few months has shown me I would much rather have my partner happy and healthy so I feel a bit selfish still pushing to have a baby but I feel like I'm still stuck in limbo.

So I guess I was wondering if anyone had been through anything similar or had any advice? I'm sorry to drone on and thanks so much for taking the time to read this

Heather x

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Hetty1989
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9 Replies

Hello. Welcome. I don't know about the cancer side of things. But am glad he is all clear And healthy now. But my partner has his heart on the wrong side and only one lung fully working and we were told straight up that this can cause infertility. That completely panicked us. Thankfully after a couple of sperm tests it turned out that he has a low count and some that were abnormal. But it meant we could go ahead. I think you should tell your hubby how you are feeling so he can put your mind at ease about this and see how he feels to. And the worse that I can see happening is you possibly having to use donor sperm. which might be worth talking about. As that's a big decision to make to. but the clinic should talk you through your options now at this appointment, they may do one more sperm count just incase. Sorry for essay. I wish you could luck with whatever you decide and happens. Lots of love. X

nellynel profile image
nellynel

HI what an horrendous time for you both but great news he has been cancer free for 2 years.. My story was similar in the fact that my partner had a zero sperm count too. we had tests after a few months including a semen analysis which came back with that shocking result. We then found out I had a low AMH result.. our treatment was a SRR where sperm was extracted surgically and I started on the highest dose with the very strong chance that I wouldn't respond. However I did and im now 11 weeks... any questions on anything send me a personal message but very good luck.. have they talked to you about the possibility of a sperm retreivial?

Hetty1989 profile image
Hetty1989

Wow thank you both so much! In our consultation in August where the doc talked about IVF he did also talk about sperm retrieval, which if I'm honest later on confused me because he said no sperm was detected. But I just assumed that was why we were doing the further investigations which ultimately found the cancer.

Congrats nellynel that news really made me smile!!

I have been sharing my feelings more and more over the last few weeks with my fella now he is out of the woods but I also don't wanna put too much pressure on him. I know he feels like he has let me down where having kids is concerned and iv done everything I can to convince him that is not the case at all and that we are a team whatever might happen next!

This has been such a fantastic outlet I've only usually come on here to read other peoples stories and support if I can but already I feel like iv had a weight lifted so thanks again :-)

in reply to Hetty1989

Glad you feel you have a weight lifted today. and we have been able to help you. My hubby felt like he had let me down to. But I said no you have not. You have no control over what happens and so it's not your fault. He now believes it. After each cycle to. I found it helpful to take us time to get over he fact They have not worked. I'm not saying yours will be the same. Just trying to help you. As much as possible. Wishing you all the best. ️Xx

in reply to Hetty1989

Glad you feel you have a weight lifted today. and we have been able to help you. My hubby felt like he had let me down to. But I said no you have not. You have no control over what happens and so it's not your fault. He now believes it. After each cycle to. I found it helpful to take us time to get over he fact They have not worked. I'm not saying yours will be the same. Just trying to help you. As much as possible. Wishing you all the best. ️Xx

in reply to Hetty1989

Glad you feel you have a weight lifted today. and we have been able to help you. My hubby felt like he had let me down to. But I said no you have not. You have no control over what happens and so it's not your fault. He now believes it. After each cycle to. I found it helpful to take us time to get over he fact They have not worked. I'm not saying yours will be the same. Just trying to help you. As much as possible. Wishing you all the best. ️Xx

Welcome to the site. What a journey and so pleased your husband has his health- what a huge relief. I don't think you're being selfish at all. And totally understand that you're feeling anxious. Everyone's different, but I find the thought of embarking on the journey is worse ( just started my second try) as I didn't think I was ready to start again, but once I started my protocol, I am fine ( fingers crossed). Keep strong, keep together, keep your options open and always know you have friends on here xxxxx

kjornsby profile image
kjornsby

Hi Heather.

So sorry to hear about your partner. So glad to see that he is now in recovery and doing well.

Hubby and I were trying for around 18 months prior to seeking help. Hubby had a testicle removed around 5 years ago and that was our main reason for concern of infertility, unfortunately at 18.7 stone I was morbidly obese with PCOS and we were just point blankly told to start saving for IVF because I'd never lose weight to get funding (I'd been overweight since childhood) We refused to let that stop us and as of January this year I had lost enough weight to qualify (currently over 7 stone down)

Throughout our journey we have hit almost every hurdle. To begin with we were told we needed ICSI as hubby's sperm count was low (injection of sperm into egg) to find out in June he is in fact infertile. We had to go to councilling before going down the sperm donor route, but we had already discussed the 'what if's' and knew we would do it if needs be.

I finally started my cycle to be told they wanted to change my drugs/timings due to my PCOS and then it has taken me 17 days of 2 injections a day to respond. I am finally responding now and hopefully having my egg collection next week.

So yes other people go through similar problems, and there are always people to talk to. Try not to let anything get you down, and always look for that silver lining... That's what we've done and we're about half way there now :-)

Good luck at your appointment. Keep us updated xx

Hetty1989 profile image
Hetty1989

Well we had our appointment yesterday and I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to feel. The doctor gave us 2 options. The first was to have a sperm retrieval op but even then there is only a 20-30% chance that they will find sperm that they can use for IVF. The second was donor sperm but my partner feels extremely uncomfortable with that option so we have got to wait now for a date for the op.

I guess I feel like I'm fighting a loosing battle but we might as well see it through to the end

Xxx

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