What is the hardest thing for you to ... - Fertility Network UK
What is the hardest thing for you to manage as you try to conceive?
HannahTramaseurPartnerFertility Network UK508 VotersPlease select all that apply:
It is completely out of your control...
For me it's more of a control issues- you are at the mercy of your clinic and planning anything is a nightmare!
I'd also add just the sense of complete powerlessness over your life. I feel I have no control or ability to make decisions or plan anything: my body, my career (I want to move jobs but can't with everything going on), our living situation (we want to move but can't face doing anything while having treatment). Even planning anything nice, like booking holidays is impossible as you're at the mercy of waiting lists and clinics that give you no indication of timings.
My friendships as friends become pregnant and have babies
The upset, hurt and sadly little bit of jealously you get for people who fall pregnant when they don't want to or accidentally or right after coming of contraception. Its really hard.
its always hard to take when someone else gets pregnant especially when its unplanned.
At the moment I'd say the waiting & feeling of lack of control
Despair, depression and jealousy. Why can everyone else have a baby and not me?
You've summed it up emmmmmz
Waiting waiting & more waiting...Basically waiting for your physical life to check on and catch up with your emotional life!
The envy and feeling of being left behind as so many people around you seem to fall pregnant relatively easily, the jealousy when it's someone close, especially family and everyone else is so excited and you're just sad.
The fear that it'll never happen and what life will look like for you 😔 x
The inability to make plans, total lack of control, the crushing devastation when yet another colleague/ family member/ friend falls pregnant, the feeling of sadness while I watch my partner struggle with this journey
when others find out they are pregnant and its announced im sure part of you is glad for them but devastated for you. I have cried a number of times when I have found out someone else is pregnant and of course im glad for them just sad about my own situation.
Not being able to have intercourse let alone try naturally for a baby...and being told you have to do ivf by 37 to have any chsnce and that's only two years away
When the period is late and the test says negative then the the period arrives and the last of your hope is shattered
An uncertain future and not knowing how long I'll have to live through this horrendous chapter in my life.
Being told sarcastically that age is against you when so many women much older have had successful ifv procedures and icy gestures and remarks from family and friends. Help me God, it's unbearable painful
The possibility of having bad news with every step.the emotional rollercoaster and just the strain it puts on everything..work,relationships ,body etc
That compared to any other situation in life - time does not heal.
The longer it goes on for, the feeling of "it'll never happen for me" gets stronger. Tested my patience to its absolute limit'
We found the time management of appointments the most difficult, my husband has used up most of his leave and I left my job & didn't work for months so I could attend appointments. There was very little understanding about this from consultants. The fertility clinic was much better though
Also the pain, heartbreak the continued effort it takes to not think how much a failure you are, the pain when it's within reach and you lose your baby, the insensitivity of some close to you and others around you. The guilt for feeling people Le need to walk in egg shells because your on a path not all people would remotely want to understand at some point.
The decision when you realise that you must get of this miserable journey even though the destination you were planning to get to won't be reached or the argument to go just 1 more time...
for me its feeling envious when others fall pregnant easy and despair and resentment and feeling that pregnant women and buggies pop up out of cracks in the pavement on purpose to upset you.
insensitive comments and questions and patronising advice and having to take precautions to avoid things out and about that might upset you like baby showers and parent and baby clubs.
For me it's the waiting. The endless and endless waiting. Waiting for doctor's appointments, waiting for treatments to start, waiting through the tww, waiting for scans, waiting to overcome the last cycle so you can start again, then starting the whole waiting process again.
On top of that, at some points (the happier, or less physically taxing points) I can turn to keeping myself busy to get through the waiting (doing sports, going out) but there are parts of the process where that is either not possible or I'm not emotionally strong enough to do these things. So I end up alone and doing nothing, which makes the waits even longer.
The feeling of failure the rows and nit picking with my other half, The why me and then the guilt for that feeling as I obviously would never wish it on anyone else, The guilt and anger and lack of control, all of it and the fear it may not even work is almost crippling but they say don't get stressed stay positive etc yeah and another favourite , don't feel embarrassed, difficult not to feel a bit more dignity leaving with each visit and each internal though or to not feel angry and fed up each month it has nt gone to baby making again 
I wish each and every one of you the best of luck xx
Couldn't agree with these comments more. It has an impact on every area of your life and the lack of understanding from the rest of the world makes it unbearable. It should be much, much higher on the agenda for NHS, NICE, etc, because it's not just a physical health issue but a serious mental health issue too xxx
For me it's a tie between seeing everyone else getting pregnant successfully and feeling as if we are being left behind, and the pressure it causes on our marriage. We have had our share of arguments triggered by this, mostly because I have a hard time coping with losses (he does too), and I struggle to deal with emotions so I frequently but not purposely aim my anger and frustration at my husband. No one knows we are ttc (judgemental family, easier to keep it to ourselves), so we don't have anyone but each other on this, which really should mean it brings us closer but sometimes it doesn't
1 point to every comment by me, I'd say it's this huge burden coming from everywhere around you...
